Art and art-like things

[Kolohe]

It's the carrot that takes it to a new level.

Wrong, it’s the bow tie.

[Warren]

It's the carrot that takes it to a new level.

Wrong, it’s the bow tie.

Nah. Without the cufflinks it just doesn't make it.

[Kolohe]

Fair enough

[JD]

I am just wondering why Barack's stovepipe hat looks shiny and new while Michelle's looks old and beat up.

[Warren]

I am just wondering why Barack's stovepipe hat looks shiny and new while Michelle's looks old and beat up.

I don't think his is shiny and new, I think it's just the angle he's holding it that you don't see the dents. In fact, those top hats look familiar, hmmm...
Wait a minute! <googles> I knew it! Those are Fred and Judy's hats!

Easter Parade

[Ellie]

[Hugh Akston]

I like everything about this review of the Hopper exhibit in Switzerland.

Only law—we’re a polity of lawyers—confers unity on the United States, which might sensibly be a Balkans of regional sovereignties had the Civil War not been so awful as to remove that option, come what may.

The artist scorned the New Deal art programs of the thirties as sops to mediocrity. Interrupting a vacation on Cape Cod in 1940, he returned to New York to register to vote in order to cast his ballot against Franklin Roosevelt.

[nicole]

I’ve seen some cool embroidery lately

[Hugh Akston]

That's neat

[nicole]

I actually liked this one better

[Hugh Akston]

You might also like Victoria Rose Richards and Emillie Ferris

[nicole]

Rad

[Painboy]

Via machine learning and photoshop this guy put together photorealistic renderings of all the Roman emperors using various contemporary sculptures and sources. I really like the way many of them really retain a kind of character to them. Augustus has a kind of dour look while Caligula has those creepy dead eyes.

Photoreal Roman Emperor Project

[lunchstealer]

I'm going to be up pretty late tomorrow making up for all the work time I spent working on their associated yearbook entries. It was not time well spent:

Augustus - Gonna take the team all the way to state this year!

Tiberius - Everyone's least racist uncle.

Calugula - Best psychopath eyes.

Claudius - Most likely to be confused for that guy... you know, the one that's not Lee Marvin or Peter Graves...

Nero - Punchablest hobbit.

Galba - Woodhouse in the timeline where George Bailey actually had been born.

Otho - If Auric Goldfinger had gone to Georgia Tech instead of MIT.

Vitellius - Most likely to have taken the emperor gig when he got turned down to coach at Nebraska.

Vespasian - Most likely to utterly fail to bomb Vietnam back to the stone age.

Titus - Captain of the golf team.

Domitian - Assumed this form because it is a form you would trust.

Nerva - There's aught wrong wi' a 'ard days' emperorin', lad, it's 'onest work.

Trajan - Most likely to have just farted and to be watching to see your face when you finally smell it.

Hadrian - You wanna see the REAL Hadrian's Wall? It's these ABS baby!

Antoninus Pius - Kinda pious, I guess?

Lucius Verus - If Tucker Carlson had been born a man.

Marcus Aurelius - Has a killer collection of Gratus Mortuis bootlegs in his caravan down by the river, man.

Commodus - Literally a Go'auld.

Pertinax - Most likely to go all Game of Thrones on your ass if you don't cut it out with the 'impertinax' jokes.

Didius Julianus - Won't let Hans Blix inspect any more of our legions' armories if the US doesn't lift sanctions!

Septimius Severus - I really didn't think he was gonna make it through the fight with the Saviors.

Caracalla - Dropped the world's first latino club banger.

Geta - He's not gonna fuck you.

Macrinus - The guy who made Anas Dynastia a hit.

Diadumenian - Gonna take the JV team all the way to state this year!

Elagabalus - Was a longshot until Napoleon made him all those "Vote for Elagabalus" t-shirts.

Severus Alexander - The Real Severus Shady.

Maximinus Thrax - "Maximinus Thrax" is Latin for "The sounds that all the little bones in your hand make if you try to sucker-punch Maximinus Thrax"

Gordian - Is sick of this knot's shit.

Gordian II - just be sure to get your own drinks from the bar.

Pupienus - Son, I survived growing up named "Poop-penis" do you really want to try to invade my empire?

Balbinus - Balbinus FRIEND!

Gordian III - Okay really cut it out with the knots already.

Philip the Arab - I'm actually a Mexican of Irish descent, but they keep casting me as an Arab or a Greek.

Philip II - Funny story, I'm actually from Bostra, originally.

Decius - Most likely to be an NPC in an Elder Scrolls property.

Herennius Etruscus - You can E-trust-me, baby!

Hostilian - No, really, if you look away, even just to talk to the server over your shoulder, put your hand over the top of your glass.

Trebonianus Gallus - Awarded "sexiest stubble" prize six years running.

Volusianus - My secret: that's actually me under the Shroud of Turin.

Aemilian - Has been randomly selected for additional screening.

Valerian - His brilliant Star Fleet career will probably go up in flames when his battle computer takes over and destroys half the fleet.

Gallienus - Is basically Canada in emperor form.

Saloninus - was a fixture in the editor's room at the Salona Doticum before he got cancelled for sending unsolicited dick mosaics to the interns.

Claudius Gothicus - That look on his face is the knowledge that no matter who he takes down in the Octogon, he's never ever gonna get out of Maximinus Thrax' shadow.

Quintillus - He was terrible as Septimus Severus and he's not gotten any better. I hate it when they start re-cycling guest star actors in later seasons.

Aurelian - Hey guuuurl.

Ulpia Severina - aaaaand you'd look prettier if I cut a smile through both your carotids.

Tacitus - The strong silent type.

Florianus - Least punchable hobbit.

Probus - Those little gray dudes landed, and asked the nearest centurion to bring them to me. I told them my name, and ... things got weird.

Carus - Best forehead.

Carinus - just Florian rendered at full human height.

Numerian - Looks like a nice guy. Y'know, someone you could count on.

[Painboy]

I'm going to be up pretty late tomorrow making up for all the work time I spent working on their associated yearbook entries. It was not time well spent:

Well I enjoyed it. So you can tell your boss I said suck it.

[lunchstealer]

By the way, seriously, does Maximinus Thrax not have a name and face meant for hard core action movies, where he's the guy who jumps into the horde of enemies to wale on them while the others get away, staying on his feet despite being constantly pummeled by the bad guys surrounding him but keeping them in one place til he can call down an orbital strike on his own position, taking all of them to hell with him?

[Painboy]

By the way, seriously, does Maximinus Thrax not have a name and face meant for hard core action movies, where he's the guy who jumps into the horde of enemies to wale on them while the others get away, staying on his feet despite being constantly pummeled by the bad guys surrounding him but keeping them in one place til he can call down an orbital strike on his own position, taking all of them to hell with him?

Agreed and evidently others thought the same.

From his sources:

“Ancient Roman writers claimed that Maximinus Thrax stood over 8 feet tall. His sandals were said to be twice the size of regular army issue. He wore his wife’s bracelet as a thumb ring. It was said he devoured 40 pounds of meat and 18 bottles of wine at each meal. They claimed he crushed rocks in his fists, out-pulled a team of horses, and knocked out a mule with one punch. These are all exaggerations, of course.” (via W&M) “strikingly huge stature and feats of strength won him a place in Septimius Severus’ army; body preeminent in height, size, and proportions-extraordinary accounts given of his feats of strength, eating, drinking, etc.” (via Canter)

[Jake]

So I guess Topher Grace should play Caligula whenever ancient Rome becomes the Hollywood Hotness again.

[Ellie]

Please enjoy this art.

149702768_10221858377921355_4569549409123738264_o.jpg (521.79 KiB) Viewed 75 times

[D.A. Ridgely]

Yeah, right. Like there are any lesbians who don't own at least one plaid flannel shirt!

[Warren]

Sooooo... There are no females in Human Social Hierarchy? Do I have that right?

[Ellie]

Yeah, right. Like there are any lesbians who don't own at least one plaid flannel shirt!

I mean, I don't, but it was long ago established I'm the worst lesbian ever