The Kracken Party

[D.A. Ridgely]

Let's face it, America needs a new political party, a party that could attract lunatics from across the political spectrum including infrared and ultraviolet. And we're just the folks to get it kick-started, don't you think?

So I'm going with the Kracken Party as a working title, and here are what I think should be a few of its founding principles:

1. We firmly believe whatever we choose to firmly believe, firmly, especially in the face of any evidence to the contrary or allegedly logical inconsistency.

2. America is #1. I know, that should have been #1, but for small enough magnitudes of 2, 2 is essentially 1, anyway.

2.5. America is also #2, #3, #4, #5, though for inexplicable reasons it is not #6 through #9, but it picks up again at #10 and so forth.

9/3. As demonstrated by #2.5, America is also all the rational fractions between these numbers. However, we strongly denounce the flagrantly nonsensical and foreign notion of irrational numbers except when referring to our opponents, all of whom are irrational and probably really foreigners who infiltrated between #6 and #9 while we were in the bathroom enjoying our God-given right to American plumbing.

E. As hardworking American patriots, we believe in a balanced budget paid for entirely by rich people, China and any loose change under the seat cushions.

D. We refuse to accept any and all oppressive rules or claims by the Coastal Elites and so-called 'intellectuals' such as alphabetical order.

Next. Where the hell are our flying cars!

***

You get the idea.

Additions, subtractions, friendly amendments, hostile amendments, mottoes, proposed flag designs and, most importantly, irrelevant remarks are welcome.

WE CAN DO THIS THING! AMERICA IS DEPENDING ON US!

[thoreau]

If America needs a party for lunatics, the LP already exists.

[D.A. Ridgely]

If America needs a party for lunatics, the LP already exists.

America has plenty of parties for lunatics but they don't think big enough. Even the LP doesn't demand flying cars.

[Aresen]

Let's face it, America needs a new political party, a party that could attract lunatics from across the political spectrum including infrared and ultraviolet. And we're just the folks to get it kick-started, don't you think?

So I'm going with the Kracken Party as a working title, and here are what I think should be a few of its founding principles:

1. We firmly believe whatever we choose to firmly believe, firmly, especially in the face of any evidence to the contrary or allegedly logical inconsistency.

2. America is #1. I know, that should have been #1, but for small enough magnitudes of 2, 2 is essentially 1, anyway.

2.5. America is also #2, #3, #4, #5, though for inexplicable reasons it is not #6 through #9, but it picks up again at #10 and so forth.

9/3. As demonstrated by #2.5, America is also all the rational fractions between these numbers. However, we strongly denounce the flagrantly nonsensical and foreign notion of irrational numbers except when referring to our opponents, all of whom are irrational and probably really foreigners who infiltrated between #6 and #9 while we were in the bathroom enjoying our God-given right to American plumbing.

E. As hardworking American patriots, we believe in a balanced budget paid for entirely by rich people, China and any loose change under the seat cushions.

D. We refuse to accept any and all oppressive rules or claims by the Coastal Elites and so-called 'intellectuals' such as alphabetical order.

Next. Where the hell are our flying cars!

***

You get the idea.

Additions, subtractions, friendly amendments, hostile amendments, mottoes, proposed flag designs and, most importantly, irrelevant remarks are welcome.

WE CAN DO THIS THING! AMERICA IS DEPENDING ON US!

Σ. Somebody else must pay for it.

Z. It's not our fault.

6.2832.. It's a plot by George Soros. Or Jeff Bezos. Or both.

[Jennifer]

Even the LP doesn't demand flying cars.

Because their support for ferrets' rights keep them too well-grounded for that.

[thoreau]

Here's their platform:

20210102_090943.jpg (52.54 KiB) Viewed 69 times

[Shem]

A breakdown of why betting sites had their best day ever on election day 2020.