Groping Resistance - Pfft.

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Kolohe
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Re: Groping Resistance - Pfft.

Post by Kolohe » 07 Jul 2014, 17:46

Mo wrote:Note to self: Buy one of these by October.

Image

Honestly the first thing I think of when seeing the pic above is Aunt Jemima, not dirka dirka.
when you wake up as the queen of the n=1 kingdom and mount your steed non sequiturius, do you look out upon all you survey and think “damn, it feels good to be a green idea sleeping furiously?" - dhex

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Kolohe
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Re: Groping Resistance - Pfft.

Post by Kolohe » 07 Jul 2014, 17:47

And totes adorbs.
when you wake up as the queen of the n=1 kingdom and mount your steed non sequiturius, do you look out upon all you survey and think “damn, it feels good to be a green idea sleeping furiously?" - dhex

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Re: Groping Resistance - Pfft.

Post by Dangerman » 07 Jul 2014, 20:07

Nice save.

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Re: Groping Resistance - Pfft.

Post by Shem » 08 Jul 2014, 01:43

Timothy wrote:The scientific advisory committee keeps trying to get the FAA to nix that "keep shit off until X time" nonsense, but much like the FDA and birth control, science has no place in policy.
I think it has less to do with science and more to do with keeping flight attendants from having to perform the Heimlich on the guy who wouldn't shut up and hang up the phone on the redeye because someone jammed a mini-bottle of Gray Goose down his throat.
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Re: Groping Resistance - Pfft.

Post by Jake » 10 Jul 2014, 21:56

I don't remember if I mentioned it or not, but I had to go to a wedding some months back, which required me to fly down to DFW (a miserable, prison-like airport, I discovered).

I opted out of the scan in both directions. I figure whatever weird fetishes a given TSA employee is going to have, they probably won't include feeling up a dude who looks like me, and that allows me to maliciously enjoy the process. The staff at DFW in particular were doing their best to talk me out of opting out, but I was unmoved. I made them feel me up, and I kept trying to make eye contact with the agent while smiling/leering, for maximal TSA discomfort.

I like to think I made those guys' days just a little bit worse as I went through.
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Re: Groping Resistance - Pfft.

Post by Hugh Akston » 10 Jul 2014, 21:59

Jake wrote:I don't remember if I mentioned it or not, but I had to go to a wedding some months back, which required me to fly down to DFW (a miserable, prison-like airport, I discovered).

I opted out of the scan in both directions. I figure whatever weird fetishes a given TSA employee is going to have, they probably won't include feeling up a dude who looks like me, and that allows me to maliciously enjoy the process. The staff at DFW in particular were doing their best to talk me out of opting out, but I was unmoved. I made them feel me up, and I kept trying to make eye contact with the agent while smiling/leering, for maximal TSA discomfort.

I like to think I made those guys' days just a little bit worse as I went through.
That's a pretty good strategy, Jake. I try not to look at them in an attempt to make them feel subhuman. But actually maintaining strong eye contact throughout might be much worse for them. I'll note that for next time.
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Re: Groping Resistance - Pfft.

Post by Mo » 10 Jul 2014, 22:02

That reminds me of a time I was flying through LGA. I was the guy right at the point where they switched people from the metal detector to the scan (shocking coincidence). When I opted out, the guy who was doing the pat downs said to the guy in charge of the line, "Come on man, send him through the metal detector." He did not, but I did get a kick out of making his day a bit worse.

Side note: For a second I thought you said DTW, which confused me because it's actually a pretty decent airport (apparently the Westin DTW is the best airport hotel EVAR).
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Re: Groping Resistance - Pfft.

Post by Andrew » 10 Jul 2014, 22:06

A buddy of mine did a 10-day motorcycle trip from Phoenix to Boston where he camped the whole way. He wore the same clothes for the entire trip. After the trip, he had to fly back to Phoenix for something, so he packed clean clothes in his carry-on (and changed into them after security) but wore his biking clothes to go through security. He opted for the pat-down.
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Re: Groping Resistance - Pfft.

Post by pistoffnick » 17 Jul 2014, 13:31

If the man wearing tan khakis and a blue TSA shirt asks you to step into the private screening area, DON'T DO IT. He just wants to feel you up.
Always be suspicious of people who have, or crave, power. - Stanley Kubrick
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Re: Groping Resistance - Pfft.

Post by Jason S. » 21 Jul 2014, 11:02

I always thought it would be fun to take a V1@gra about an hour before going through the TSA checkpoint.
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Re: Groping Resistance - Pfft.

Post by Taktix® » 21 Jul 2014, 15:55

pistoffnick wrote:If the man wearing tan khakis and a blue TSA shirt asks you to step into the private screening area, DON'T DO IT. He just wants to feel you up.
linked article wrote: A few minutes later, the man directed a second woman toward the booth, our sources say. This time, however, he caught the attention of real screeners, who figured something was wrong because male screeners are prohibited from taking women into the booth for a pat-down without a female screener also being present.
I don't know what's worse: the described incident or the fact that he was only caught because he violated a bureaucratic protocol...
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Re: Groping Resistance - Pfft.

Post by thoreau » 21 Jul 2014, 15:57

If he'd stuck to groping men and confiscating valuables, somebody might have accidentally enrolled him in the federal pension plan.
"They were basically like D&D min maxers, but instead of pissing off their DM, they destroyed the global economy. Also, instead of their DM making a level 7 paladin fight a beholder as punishment, he got a +3 sword of turning."
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Re: Groping Resistance - Pfft.

Post by Warren » 22 Jul 2014, 10:58

thoreau wrote:If he'd stuck to groping men and confiscating valuables, somebody might have accidentally enrolled him in the federal pension plan.
I assume this is already happening and will be a scandal sometime in the 30's when they start to collect.
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Re: Groping Resistance - Pfft.

Post by JD » 19 Aug 2014, 18:06

I sort of feel like a sucker about aspiring to be intellectually rigorous when I could just go on twitter and say capitalism causes space herpes and no one will challenge me on it. - Hugh Akston

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Re: Groping Resistance - Pfft.

Post by Hugh Akston » 07 Sep 2014, 15:46

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Re: Groping Resistance - Pfft.

Post by Dangerman » 07 Sep 2014, 16:10

"Travel documents"? Go fuck yourselves.

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Re: Groping Resistance - Pfft.

Post by Warren » 07 Sep 2014, 16:54

Dangerman wrote:"Travel documents"? Go fuck yourselves.
Meh. I don't mind showing a boarding pass. I'll even fork over my ID. It's all the intrusive theater and delays that pluck my pubes.
And you most definitely can take that whole "It's fun to submit to authority" attitude and go fuck yourself with it.
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Re: Groping Resistance - Pfft.

Post by Dangerman » 07 Sep 2014, 18:17

I object to kids being told that we need documents to travel. It's a camel's nose to teaching kids that state control apparatus like a national ID etc. are to be viewed with anything but skepticism. It's fun to be at a checkpoint! Yay!

If that ad took place during a flight from NY to LA, then you shouldn't need anything more than a boarding pass.

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Re: Groping Resistance - Pfft.

Post by thoreau » 18 Oct 2014, 08:17

Instead of telling passengers to empty their pockets, why don't we just teach TSA employees not to grope people without their enthusiastic consent?
"They were basically like D&D min maxers, but instead of pissing off their DM, they destroyed the global economy. Also, instead of their DM making a level 7 paladin fight a beholder as punishment, he got a +3 sword of turning."
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Re: Groping Resistance - Pfft.

Post by Highway » 25 Oct 2014, 17:30

I'm glad Homeland Security is here to protect us from copyrighted logos on panties.
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Re: Groping Resistance - Pfft.

Post by thoreau » 25 Oct 2014, 17:34

Well, underwear that says "take the crown" is probably promoting rape culture in some way, which threatens the security of people in our homeland.
"They were basically like D&D min maxers, but instead of pissing off their DM, they destroyed the global economy. Also, instead of their DM making a level 7 paladin fight a beholder as punishment, he got a +3 sword of turning."
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Re: Groping Resistance - Pfft.

Post by dbcooper » 25 Oct 2014, 17:45

Highway wrote:I'm glad Homeland Security is here to protect us from copyrighted logos on panties.
Terrorist panties are serious business.
Slip inside a sleeping bag.

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Re: Groping Resistance - Pfft.

Post by D.A. Ridgely » 25 Oct 2014, 20:11

Some briefs are legal, some are illegal.

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Re: Groping Resistance - Pfft.

Post by Hugh Akston » 15 Apr 2015, 23:54

TSAgents fired for doing the thing they were hired to do
The Transportation Security Administration has fired two screeners for conspiring to fondle male passengers as they came through a security checkpoint at Denver International Airport.

One of the screeners, a man, signaled to a female colleague when a man he found attractive was coming through the scanning machine.

The woman then pressed a touchscreen button indicating that the man being screened was actually a woman, according to a Denver police report of the allegations.

The scanner than alerted screeners that it had found an oddity in the area of the genitals, triggering a physical pat down of the passenger's groin, the police report said.
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Re: Groping Resistance - Pfft.

Post by Taktix® » 01 May 2015, 13:46

The TSA is sooooooo incompetent.

How incompetent are they?

They're so incompetent, they're actually planting bombs in airports now: http://consumerist.com/2015/05/01/repor ... or-4-days/
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