The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

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JD
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Re: The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by JD » 17 Jan 2019, 17:35

I did say it was a 1980s sword and sandal movie. :-) And yes, that means it features completely gratuitous Sandahl Bergman boobs too.
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JasonL
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Re: The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by JasonL » 17 Jan 2019, 17:40

You might as well have sent that straight to painboy's soul.

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Painboy
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Re: The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by Painboy » 17 Jan 2019, 17:41

JD wrote:
17 Jan 2019, 17:35
I did say it was a 1980s sword and sandal movie. :-) And yes, that means it features completely gratuitous Sandahl Bergman boobs too.
If it wasn't clear I was being quite serious. It sounds glorious. BTW where did you find it?

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Re: The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by JD » 17 Jan 2019, 17:59

Painboy wrote:
17 Jan 2019, 17:41
JD wrote:
17 Jan 2019, 17:35
I did say it was a 1980s sword and sandal movie. :-) And yes, that means it features completely gratuitous Sandahl Bergman boobs too.
If it wasn't clear I was being quite serious. It sounds glorious. BTW where did you find it?
It was actually shown at the local Alamo Drafthouse - they have a "Weird Wednesday" event where they drag stuff out of obscurity. For example, for She not only was it, well, She, but it was actually the answer print of the movie - the edited print that combines sound and video but does not yet have opening or closing credits, which made it extra surreal because it just suddenly began and two hours later it suddenly ended. They've also shown Psychomania (Britain's lamest motorcycle gang gets mixed up with black magic and comes back from the dead to perform minor acts of vandalism) and Lady Street Fighter (lady detective with thick German accent fights the mob and the FBI and still has time to perform fellatio on some celery not once but twice). And they're showing Ator, the Fighting Eagle next month!
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Painboy
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Re: The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by Painboy » 17 Jan 2019, 19:39

JD wrote:
17 Jan 2019, 17:59
Painboy wrote:
17 Jan 2019, 17:41
JD wrote:
17 Jan 2019, 17:35
I did say it was a 1980s sword and sandal movie. :-) And yes, that means it features completely gratuitous Sandahl Bergman boobs too.
If it wasn't clear I was being quite serious. It sounds glorious. BTW where did you find it?
It was actually shown at the local Alamo Drafthouse - they have a "Weird Wednesday" event where they drag stuff out of obscurity. For example, for She not only was it, well, She, but it was actually the answer print of the movie - the edited print that combines sound and video but does not yet have opening or closing credits, which made it extra surreal because it just suddenly began and two hours later it suddenly ended. They've also shown Psychomania (Britain's lamest motorcycle gang gets mixed up with black magic and comes back from the dead to perform minor acts of vandalism) and Lady Street Fighter (lady detective with thick German accent fights the mob and the FBI and still has time to perform fellatio on some celery not once but twice). And they're showing Ator, the Fighting Eagle next month!
I just showed the Rifftrax version of that one over the holidays to JasonL and some friends. It's one of my favs. There's nothing quite like shitty Italian cinema. There's a kind of crazed magic to it.
Last edited by Painboy on 17 Jan 2019, 19:59, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by Hugh Akston » 17 Jan 2019, 19:43

Cheap Italian Shit is my second favorite subgenre of MST3k episodes.
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Re: The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by Hugh Akston » 17 Jan 2019, 22:33

The 2016 Jason Bourne movie was not very good, but the assassin antagonist looked like an evil Rand Paul.
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Re: The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by JasonL » 17 Jan 2019, 23:30

Anthony Bourdain?

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Re: The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by Number 6 » 18 Jan 2019, 00:09

I just found and watched Redbelt, a martial arts movie starring Chewitel Notevengoingtotrythelastname, who most here will know as the Operative from Serenity. It's a Mamet movie, and doesn't really hang together as well as some of his others, but it's interesting enough to be worth a watch.
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Re: The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by Warren » 20 Jan 2019, 14:23

If you haven't seen Won't You Be My Neighbor, you absolutely must.
So powerful. Everybody needs to watch it.
THIS SPACE FOR RENT

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Re: The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by dead_elvis » 22 Jan 2019, 12:55

Fin Fang Foom wrote:
07 Jan 2018, 10:59
I, Tonya is good.
Seconded. Lotta fun while making one slightly uncomfortable with getting on her side and extremely uncomfortable not knowing what if anything in the unreliable narration was true or not.

I had the additional discomfort of trying to explain to a non-native born/raised USian exactly why I was howling with laughter when she hit the ice to "Slip inside my Sleeping Bag". Great moment in soundtrack history.
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Painboy
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Re: The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by Painboy » 22 Jan 2019, 14:01

Watched Solo last night. While it's possible I just was in the mood for it I really enjoyed the movie. In fact I actually think it might be the best non-OT Star Wars movie. Which is strange because of all of them I thought it had the concept least likely to succeed. I know it didn't do great at the box office but I would love to see more Star Wars movies in that vein. If the series they are making is like Solo I'm in.

Unlike the other new movies I didn't feel it was worshipping at the alter of the previous movies. There was fan service but it was either subtle or they did a good job of integrating it intelligently into the movie. It was also nice to see another non-Skywalker centered movie. Ehrenreich does a solid job of channeling Han while not falling into doing impressions. The cast overall did well given the limited screen time each one has. There may be one too many double crosses but that's kind of the nature of any heist style movie.

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Re: The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by Mo » 22 Jan 2019, 16:50

Solo is not better than Rogue One. That was probably #3 of all the movies.
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Painboy
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Re: The son of

Post by Painboy » 22 Jan 2019, 17:06

Mo wrote:
22 Jan 2019, 16:50
Solo is not better than Rogue One. That was probably #3 of all the movies.
Way too many callbacks and fan service. Vader was all wrong. Tarkin was weird and distracting. Story needed serious streamlining. A few too many characters. I liked Rogue One, but Solo was a better put together movie overall. But I would agree they're both the best stuff since the OT.

It's interesting since both of them had troubled productions but came out better IMHO than either the PT or the ST where the directors basically had carte blanche.

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Re: The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by thoreau » 22 Jan 2019, 17:23

Personally, Solo did nothing for me, but I like anyone who likes these spin-off movies better than Last Jedi. Rogue One is my favorite. If it's not yours, well, that's just, like, your opinion man, and this is mine. But I will never understand why some people love Last Jedi.
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Re: The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by Hugh Akston » 22 Jan 2019, 17:39

thoreau wrote:
22 Jan 2019, 17:23
Personally, Solo did nothing for me, but I like anyone who likes these spin-off movies better than Last Jedi. Rogue One is my favorite. If it's not yours, well, that's just, like, your opinion man, and this is mine. But I will never understand why some people love Last Jedi.
Here are a couple of videos to explain why some people like TLJ (and more to the point why some people really don't)

tl;dw TLJ defies your prescriptive expectations of what a Star Wars movie should be. I like that because I think what keeps a franchise fresh is a critical perspective on what has come before, and the willingness to experiment with twisting established tropes and characters. Other people have a strong negative reaction to having their expectations defied, which I get because there is a comfort in the familiar.
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Re: The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by dhex » 23 Jan 2019, 08:54

Last jedi was a lot better than I expected it would be.
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The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by JasonL » 23 Jan 2019, 10:25

Vader at the end of Rogue One was more than redemptive of weird mid movie Vader. It was like watching Bulls Jordan after only seeing Wizards Jordan for many years.

TLJ was better than I thought it would be also given the strong negative priming. I found most of the “it’s not a Star Wars Movie” critiques exasperating. The formula is an inch wide apparently.

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Re: The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by lunchstealer » 23 Jan 2019, 11:37

dead_elvis wrote:
22 Jan 2019, 12:55
Fin Fang Foom wrote:
07 Jan 2018, 10:59
I, Tonya is good.
Seconded. Lotta fun while making one slightly uncomfortable with getting on her side and extremely uncomfortable not knowing what if anything in the unreliable narration was true or not.

I had the additional discomfort of trying to explain to a non-native born/raised USian exactly why I was howling with laughter when she hit the ice to "Slip inside my Sleeping Bag". Great moment in soundtrack history.
Yeah, it strikes a really good tone between getting the other side of the story, and making it all feel like a shaggy dog biopic.

BTW, I never knew the name of that song, and thought it was something super-sonic something something. So now I know the origin of one sig line that I never quite grokked, previously.
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Re: The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by thoreau » 23 Jan 2019, 11:45

JasonL wrote:
23 Jan 2019, 10:25
Vader at the end of Rogue One was more than redemptive of weird mid movie Vader. It was like watching Bulls Jordan after only seeing Wizards Jordan for many years.

TLJ was better than I thought it would be also given the strong negative priming. I found most of the “it’s not a Star Wars Movie” critiques exasperating. The formula is an inch wide apparently.
I didn't care that it deviated from tradition. I liked most scenes with Luke and/or Rey and/or Kylo Ren.

Besides the casino side plot that everyone has complained about, pretty much everything in the Resistance fleet made no sense. "Hey, they're tracking us through hyperspace? They must have new tech. Couldn't be a traitor in our midst signaling them. But the only people who could possibly figure out how to beat their new tech are a former First Order janitor and somebody on the bottom of the Resistance hierarchy. So let's have them fix this. Oh, and let's have the admiral tolerate the most outrageous insubordination so that Poe has time to launch a mutiny. Yeah. And then when Fin is risking his own life to save others, let's have the Resistance woman he was working with stop him and say that sacrifice for a noble cause isn't what they're all about. Oh, and after five movies where Leia was a warrior princess, let's have her come back from the brink via a Force feat so that she can deliver a few more lines and then CGI Leia can die in the next movie."

The only thing that redeemed any of the fleet stories was Last Ride Of Admiral Holdo.
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Re: The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by thoreau » 23 Jan 2019, 11:48

Basically, the movie would have been great if it had just been the following:

Poe prank calls the First Order and then we walk away from that story.
Luke and Rey go spearfishing while Chewie plays with birds.
Kylo Ren kills Darth Hefner, then gets rejected by Rey.
Last Ride of Admiral Holdo.
Astral projection Luke vs. Kylo Ren.
"just build a quantum foam wall and make the tardigrades pay for it."
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Re: The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by lunchstealer » 23 Jan 2019, 14:06

thoreau wrote:
23 Jan 2019, 11:48
Basically, the movie would have been great if it had just been the following:

Poe prank calls the First Order and then we walk away from that story.
Luke and Rey go spearfishing while Chewie plays with birds.
Kylo Ren kills Darth Hefner, then gets rejected by Rey.
Last Ride of Admiral Holdo.
Astral projection Luke vs. Kylo Ren.
What, you don't want to get twenty minutes of 5MPH gravity bombers in space?

Also they needed to figure out how to re-cut the damned thing with it being Leia who last rides, not Holdo, because A - i mean she's gonna have to die in the first few seconds of EPIX and B - pink-haired Space Laura Dern is right in the sweet spot for male-gazing from saw-Star-Wars-as-kids-in-the-theater-first-run types who are all in their mid-40s to early-50s and who also got her as Ellie the Hawt Paleontologist in the original Dinosaurs Eating People while in the 18-25 demographic.
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thoreau
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Re: The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by thoreau » 23 Jan 2019, 14:10

lunchstealer wrote:
23 Jan 2019, 14:06
thoreau wrote:
23 Jan 2019, 11:48
Basically, the movie would have been great if it had just been the following:

Poe prank calls the First Order and then we walk away from that story.
Luke and Rey go spearfishing while Chewie plays with birds.
Kylo Ren kills Darth Hefner, then gets rejected by Rey.
Last Ride of Admiral Holdo.
Astral projection Luke vs. Kylo Ren.
What, you don't want to get twenty minutes of 5MPH gravity bombers in space?

Also they needed to figure out how to re-cut the damned thing with it being Leia who last rides, not Holdo, because A - i mean she's gonna have to die in the first few seconds of EPIX and B - pink-haired Space Laura Dern is right in the sweet spot for male-gazing from saw-Star-Wars-as-kids-in-the-theater-first-run types who are all in their mid-40s to early-50s and who also got her as Ellie the Hawt Paleontologist in the original Dinosaurs Eating People while in the 18-25 demographic.
Plus, Pink-Haired Space Admiral who maintains composure in the face of a mansplaining Poe Dameron is exactly the Space Admiral that woke millennial Last Jedi fans needed, and they'd love Episode IX even more if she were in it.

So, yeah, kill the Boomer and make the Gen X lady the leader. Because I may not be Woke but I do enjoy some Soylent Boomer.
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Re: The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by lunchstealer » 23 Jan 2019, 14:34

thoreau wrote:
23 Jan 2019, 14:10
lunchstealer wrote:
23 Jan 2019, 14:06
thoreau wrote:
23 Jan 2019, 11:48
Basically, the movie would have been great if it had just been the following:

Poe prank calls the First Order and then we walk away from that story.
Luke and Rey go spearfishing while Chewie plays with birds.
Kylo Ren kills Darth Hefner, then gets rejected by Rey.
Last Ride of Admiral Holdo.
Astral projection Luke vs. Kylo Ren.
What, you don't want to get twenty minutes of 5MPH gravity bombers in space?

Also they needed to figure out how to re-cut the damned thing with it being Leia who last rides, not Holdo, because A - i mean she's gonna have to die in the first few seconds of EPIX and B - pink-haired Space Laura Dern is right in the sweet spot for male-gazing from saw-Star-Wars-as-kids-in-the-theater-first-run types who are all in their mid-40s to early-50s and who also got her as Ellie the Hawt Paleontologist in the original Dinosaurs Eating People while in the 18-25 demographic.
Plus, Pink-Haired Space Admiral who maintains composure in the face of a mansplaining Poe Dameron is exactly the Space Admiral that woke millennial Last Jedi fans needed, and they'd love Episode IX even more if she were in it.

So, yeah, kill the Boomer and make the Gen X lady the leader. Because I may not be Woke but I do enjoy some Soylent Boomer.
Not to mention from a serious standpoint that a sacrifice down-with-the-ship act from Leia, a character we've known since the first 10 minutes of the first film in 1977, would have had huge emotional impact, while a sacrifice down-with-the-ship act from Holdo, a character who was introduced in this movie and got maybe 10 minutes of screen time beginning maybe 110 minutes before her death just doesn't. It was a huge story-telling missed opportunity.
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thoreau
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Re: The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by thoreau » 23 Jan 2019, 14:39

Really, the whole thing was a bunch of missed storytelling opportunities. That's why I hated it. It was just frustrating to watch anything involving the resistance fleet or the casino plot.
"just build a quantum foam wall and make the tardigrades pay for it."
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