The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

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dbcooper
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Re: The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by dbcooper » 07 Mar 2019, 22:47

Hugh Akston wrote:
07 Mar 2019, 22:21
Drop Zone, a skydiving movie starring Snipes, Gary Busey, and Cory Nemic. Of all the Bad 90s Thrillers I have seen, this one was the most aggressively 90s. Soundtrack included INXS and Toad the Wet Sprocket; lots of Zubaz, No Fear shirts, and neon poly windbreakers; Bud Dry product placement; and so many man pony tails.

Also Hans Zimmer did the score, and there was definitely an early draft of the Pirates of the Caribbean theme.

As skydiving movies go, this one was somewhere between Coleman Francis and Point Break.
That sounds rad. Am going to download and watch tonight.
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Hugh Akston
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Re: The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by Hugh Akston » 07 Mar 2019, 23:15

dbcooper wrote:
07 Mar 2019, 22:47
Hugh Akston wrote:
07 Mar 2019, 22:21
Drop Zone, a skydiving movie starring Snipes, Gary Busey, and Cory Nemic. Of all the Bad 90s Thrillers I have seen, this one was the most aggressively 90s. Soundtrack included INXS and Toad the Wet Sprocket; lots of Zubaz, No Fear shirts, and neon poly windbreakers; Bud Dry product placement; and so many man pony tails.

Also Hans Zimmer did the score, and there was definitely an early draft of the Pirates of the Caribbean theme.

As skydiving movies go, this one was somewhere between Coleman Francis and Point Break.
That sounds rad. Am going to download and watch tonight.
Not sure what the geographic restrictions are, but it's streaming on Prime in the States.

The movie's biggest problem is that it's not a good fit for Snipes' cheeky badass persona. He spends most of it playing a clueless outsider and the butt of jokes.
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JD
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Re: The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by JD » 15 Mar 2019, 21:54

Shaolin vs Lama - Fun! I see why this was included in the Wu-Tang collection. The plot is pretty formulaic (isn't it always?): dude wanders China seeking a teacher of kung fu who's actually better than he is; hero falls in with some Shaolin monks, including young comic relief novice; evil ex-monk who has stolen the sacred book enters the plot; hero comes to learn that as good as he thought he was, he was just at the very beginning of understanding. There are some fairly inexplicable fight scenes between guys we've only just met 30 seconds ago, but all of them are well-done, and there's a lot of humor, like when the old master defeats the hero using his stinky feet. Very quotable, with lots of lines like "Are you using the Wu-Tang style against me?" and "Your kung fu is really lousy!"
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Re: The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by Hugh Akston » 20 Mar 2019, 17:53

Columbus was a bad movie with some good cinematography. The characters and story and dialogue were all kind of extraneous to the really nice shots of modernist architecture. The lead girl will make you glad that you are no longer a teenager and don't know any teenagers. And there was no reason for her to be there. It would have been a perfectly cromulent story with just John Cho and Parker Posey. I counted four camera moves in an hour and 45 minutes.
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Re: The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by JD » 21 Mar 2019, 09:56

Finally got around to watching Bohemian Rhapsody. It is neither as good bad as some people had warned me nor as good as some people had told me. It's a very well-done movie, but I don't quite think it was Oscar quality.
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Re: The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by lunchstealer » 21 Mar 2019, 12:28

JD wrote:Finally got around to watching Bohemian Rhapsody. It is neither as good bad as some people had warned me nor as good as some people had told me. It's a very well-done movie, but I don't quite think it was Oscar quality.
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Re: The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by JasonL » 21 Mar 2019, 14:42

Hugh Akston wrote:
20 Mar 2019, 17:53
Columbus was a bad movie with some good cinematography. The characters and story and dialogue were all kind of extraneous to the really nice shots of modernist architecture. The lead girl will make you glad that you are no longer a teenager and don't know any teenagers. And there was no reason for her to be there. It would have been a perfectly cromulent story with just John Cho and Parker Posey. I counted four camera moves in an hour and 45 minutes.
I found that movie pleasantly zen. I enjoyed the whole thing in a low key kind of way.

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Re: The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by Ellie » 21 Mar 2019, 17:37

An online friend of mine* has a page called B-movie BFFs to chronicle, unsurprisingly, her adventures watching terrible movies with her friends. Sometimes she opens them up to the internet with Rabbit watch parties. The other night was the 1987 G.I. Joe movie. The whole animated G.I. Joe thing was just enough before my time that it was never on my radar**, so it was all newly hilarious to me. (Also, kinda racist, but way less racist than I would have expected.)

* Someone whose writing and general personality I massively look up to, so I feel like I'm constantly whispering "be cool, be cool" when I interact with her :D
** Aside from what David has forced me to become aware of. I am starting to develop some serious love for Xamot :oops: :lol:
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Re: The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by Painboy » 21 Mar 2019, 20:45

Ellie wrote:
21 Mar 2019, 17:37
An online friend of mine* has a page called B-movie BFFs to chronicle, unsurprisingly, her adventures watching terrible movies with her friends. Sometimes she opens them up to the internet with Rabbit watch parties. The other night was the 1987 G.I. Joe movie. The whole animated G.I. Joe thing was just enough before my time that it was never on my radar**, so it was all newly hilarious to me. (Also, kinda racist, but way less racist than I would have expected.)

* Someone whose writing and general personality I massively look up to, so I feel like I'm constantly whispering "be cool, be cool" when I interact with her :D
** Aside from what David has forced me to become aware of. I am starting to develop some serious love for Xamot :oops: :lol:
Ah the movie with the one and only apparent casualty in the entire cartoon GI Joe v. Cobra war. I can't remember, did they actually show blood when it happened? He got stabbed right (with a snake?). Apparently he was originally supposed to die but they just put him in a coma instead after blow back from offing Optimus Prime in the Transformers movie.

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Ellie
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Re: The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by Ellie » 21 Mar 2019, 22:00

They didn't show blood; I'm not sure if they originally did and it got cut. The "Duke is in a COMA" voice dubbing is hilariously tacked on.
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Re: The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by Hugh Akston » 24 Mar 2019, 22:31

Into the Spiderverse is way better than any movie with that premise has a right to be. Also visually astonishing.
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Re: The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by JD » 26 Mar 2019, 13:56

Last night I saw the premier of the new series "Warrior" on Cinemax. It's based on a concept that Bruce Lee pitched during his life and could never get greenlit because the studios didn't think a series with an Asian lead was marketable. It's a very stylish historical martial arts drama, set in San Francisco in the late 1800s and dealing with Chinese immigration, race relations, and economic conflict. Lots of quality chopsocky (not entirely kung fu, either; it touches on Western martial arts a bit) and eye candy.
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Dangerman
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Re: The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by Dangerman » 27 Mar 2019, 11:46

I saw Tom Segura last night and it was a great show. He's very funny and a good storyteller. Recommended if you enjoy laughing.

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Re: The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by Andrew » 06 Apr 2019, 01:24

The hipster film bar near me was showing Fight Club for its 20th anniversary, so I went and saw it with a coworker. I've seen the movie many times, but I never saw it in the theater originally, and it's been years since I saw the whole thing with no interruptions. Aside from a few of the computer animation bits and being 15 minutes too long, I'd say it holds up remarkably well.
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Re: The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by Warren » 06 Apr 2019, 12:40

I never liked Fight Club #noshame
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Re: The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by Jennifer » 06 Apr 2019, 14:08

I always liked Fight Club because (SPOILER ALERT FOR 20-YEAR-OLD MOVIE) I can't recall any other "twist" movie that works so perfectly -- the story works the first time you watch it, thinking Brad Pitt and Ed Norton are two different people, and works even better the second time, knowing the truth and looking for signs of it.
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Re: The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by Kwix » 08 Apr 2019, 13:42

Ahem, I do believe you all are breaking the first rule.
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Re: The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by JasonL » 08 Apr 2019, 14:34

Is that where the first rule of Fight Club is never talk about how kind of stupid the last 20 minutes was?

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Re: The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by lunchstealer » 09 Apr 2019, 01:12

JasonL wrote:
08 Apr 2019, 14:34
Is that where the first rule of Fight Club is never talk about how kind of stupid the last 20 minutes was?
That's the only rule of Fight Club.
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Re: The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by Andrew » 12 May 2019, 18:28

More bad movie viewing from the last month!

Day 1:

1. First up was Snake Eater II with Lorenzo Lamas. I had to order this one on DVD because it’s not available through streaming (I and III are available for whatever reason). After the entertainment value of I and III, this one was a big letdown. It was just bad, and not in a fun way. Big waste of $12 with no rewatch value.

2. Next was The Warrior and the Sorceress, based on painboy’s recommendation. This one raised lots of questions, like how was David Carradine ever a star, how can one steal the plot of Red Harvest (like many others have done) and have it come out so bad, and how does the economy of this movie work? I actually felt a little bad for the other actors in this movie. Most seemed to be putting forth some effort (even if it was the scenery-chewing kind), and then there’s Carradine mumbling his way through things with a haircut that he gave himself. Overall, this one is almost too bad to be fun. The lighting is terrible, it has a grimy feel, and everything is just kinda incompetent.

3. Via Amazon’s recommendation, next was Deathstalker. My friend and I were shocked that we had never seen or even heard of this one. It. Is. Amazing. I suspect the writing process was asking a group of 16 year old D&D players to rewrite Conan the Barbarian. It might be the trashiest sword and sorcery movie I’ve seen. It has it all: massive steroided-out heroes, magical artifacts, evil wizards, perhaps the most T&A I’ve ever seen, and probably also the most attempted rape scenes. I know I’m not the first person to realize this is actually a Gor movie.

It’s also fascinating because it’s not incompetent. Sure, the acting is bad and the plot is minimal since it’s only 80 minutes... but the effects are decent, the plot is coherent, and some money was put into costumes, editing, lighting, etc. The unintentional humor just doesn’t stop, either. It's so absurd that MST3K riffing borders on unnecessary.

Day 2:

1. Another friend joined for this viewing day, so we started with a rewatch of Deathstalker. It was just as good on the 2nd viewing. This is now high in the rankings of my favorite bad movies.

2. Deathstalker 2. Mostly crap, and not the fun kind. Way too much attempted humor, Deathstalker does very little actual killing, and the T&A is much reduced. It even reuses some scenes from the first one. It basically followed the same pattern as Conan the Destroyer after Conan the Barbarian: tone down the violence, reduce the nudity, make the tone more humorous, and move it into PG/PG-13 land. Considering the only charm of the original Deathstalker was how over the top and inappropriate it was, there's not much left to enjoy after that is taken away.

3. Barbarian Queen. Another Lana Clarkson one, and it aims for being more feminist while still being extremely exploitative. It's a weird mix to say the least. All the reviews note the extended naked torture scene with Clarkson, but they don't mention that the torturer is the most blatant anti-semitic caricature possible. Some good riff fodder, but not one I'll rewatch.

4. Gunan, King of the Barbarians. This one is an Italian Conan ripoff, and we found it pretty solid for riff purposes. The main character is never called Gunan, which tells you the kind of movie it is. It appears to have been shot on 8mm, which gives it that Manos-style "every frame looks like someone's last known photo" feel. It has a number of padded scenes and that special incompetent camera work (a chase scene completely focused on everyone's ankles) one expects of bad movies. No nudity, but plenty of surprisingly graphic violence. Even on a first viewing, we were able to get lots of riffs and running jokes going.

One interesting thing was just how much all the sword and sorcery movies stole from Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back, and the Indiana Jones franchise. I expected lots of plagiarism of Conan, but they did not hesitate to grab anything they could from those other movies.
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Jennifer
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Re: The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by Jennifer » 12 May 2019, 19:20

FWIW, "Deathstalker 2" is the movie the MST3K people used for their "live" concert tour last year. And yeah -- it was bad even WITH the added snarky commentary.
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Re: The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by Pham Nuwen » 21 May 2019, 20:49

Goddamn. The new Catch 22 is absolute genius.
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Re: The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by Kolohe » 21 May 2019, 23:28

Pham Nuwen wrote:
21 May 2019, 20:49
Goddamn. The new Catch 22 is absolute genius.
Is it still set in WW2 (& the Army Air Corps in Italy) or is it updated in setting?

(The source material is probably the best satire and best commentary on modern war written in the 20th century)
when you wake up as the queen of the n=1 kingdom and mount your steed non sequiturius, do you look out upon all you survey and think “damn, it feels good to be a green idea sleeping furiously?" - dhex

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Re: The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by Pham Nuwen » 22 May 2019, 00:00

Kolohe wrote:
21 May 2019, 23:28
Pham Nuwen wrote:
21 May 2019, 20:49
Goddamn. The new Catch 22 is absolute genius.
Is it still set in WW2 (& the Army Air Corps in Italy) or is it updated in setting?

(The source material is probably the best satire and best commentary on modern war written in the 20th century)
WW2 and all. It's amazing. And has a proper ending. Heller had GRRM-itis and didn't know how to finish it. I think Clooney did a great job with the ending. Some things are moved around. Some things are cut entirely. But the focus is squarely on Yossarian so that makes sense to me.
Goddamn libertarian message board. Hugh Akston

leave me to my mescaline smoothie in peace, please. dhex

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Kolohe
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Re: The son of "What the hell are YOU staring at?"

Post by Kolohe » 22 May 2019, 18:57

Oh, is it a one off movie? I thought it was a TV show (like how they adopted MASH)
when you wake up as the queen of the n=1 kingdom and mount your steed non sequiturius, do you look out upon all you survey and think “damn, it feels good to be a green idea sleeping furiously?" - dhex

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