Twitter!

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Pham Nuwen
Posts: 6814
Joined: 27 Apr 2010, 02:17

Re: Twitter!

Post by Pham Nuwen » 07 Sep 2011, 23:53

dbcooper wrote:
Dropping a deuce and out of toilet paper? Just shoot me a text bro. Half-open door handoff incoming. #bestroomyever
:)
Relevant: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/08/1 ... 31525.html
best. roommate. ever wrote:Konichiwa bitches. Are you looking for the most kick-ass fucking roommate that ever lived? If so, look no further. You fucking found him. I'm a 25-year-old professional marketing agent with experience at bad-ass companies in New York Fucking City. That's right! What you know about experience? I graduated from Auburn University in Alabama, and moved to NYC at the ripe, tender age of 22. After deciding that New York was a stinky shit-hole, I moved back to Alabama to cultivate more professional experience. Why? So I can make millions of dollars and not have to post shit like this on Craigslist.

Anyway, so I landed this job with a marketing firm in San Francisco, and I have no fucking clue where to live. Honestly, I'm moving there in 3 weeks, so I don't give a shit if I have to sleep in your bathtub.

A bit about me: I'm respectful, quiet, clean and I won't bother any of your shit. If you leave shit out, I'm just like, "Oh fuck I better not mess with this shit, because it's not mine." I turn off lights. I clean toilets. Fuck it. I'll even cook for you. That's right! My dad is a chef and taught me everything there is to know about cooking southern cajun cuisine. I'll fry green tomatoes, cover them with marinated crab meat and smother that shit in bearnaise. EVERY. GODDAMN. NIGHT. Don't eat meat? That's fucking FANTASTIC! I'll make a zucchini and yellow squash carpaccio that will knock your fucking socks off.

I also read a lot. I fucking LOVE books. Vonnegut, Palahniuk, Hawthorne. All that shit. I read Tuesday's with Morrie the other day. It's a sad story, but I learned something about life, love, knowledge and the pursuit of something greater than myself. Fucking smart. Do you like movies? I fucking love them. We can watch the shit out of some movies together if you like, or go get drinks, or work out, hike, play video games or play a game of one-on-one basketball, or I don't have to talk to you at all. It's completely UP TO YOU!

Sometimes I play guitar. Are you going to love getting baked and listening to Bob Dylan and Pink Floyd? LIVE? WHENEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT? Of course you are! I'll take requests and learn any song you like, because I have the voice of an angel and the acoustical stylings of James Fucking Taylor. AWWWWWW SHIT YEA!

A lot of people ask me, "Hey, you're from Alabama. Are you racist?" And, the answer to that question is, no. I'm not racist or judgmental at all. I love everyone. I'm a secular humanist. I FUCKING LOVE PEOPLE. That's the only requirement to being a secular humanist actually. You have to like other human beings and want to help them for no other reason than they are human regardless of race, religion or sexual preference. WTF?!!!? Pretty fucking cool right?

I own almost nothing! I'm driving my car from Alabama to California in which I'll be transporting two duffelbags of clothes, one laptop computer, one guitar, one cell-phone with charger, 8 pairs of shoes, one picture frame, probably some condoms and a shitload of beef jerky and Pringles for the trip. Though, you can expect the jerky to be gone upon my arrival. Unless you'd like me to pick up some on my way into the city. See?! I'm the most considerate person you've ever met. I'm offering to buy you shit already!

Am I interested in your pad? You can bet my nomadic ass I am! I only require 4 walls, a ceiling and a floor to shelter me from the elements. Other than that, anything else will be considered a convenient plus. I'm taking being a roommate to the next level. Email me! I'll hook yo ass up with Facebook links, background checks, credit reports, phone numbers, resumes, references, awards, sexual history, pictures of karate trophies and a list of the top 10 women I'd like to bang before I die. If you want a next-generation roommate who consistently blows your fucking mind with awesomeness, then hit me up. I'm ready to give you money.
Goddamn libertarian message board. Hugh Akston

leave me to my mescaline smoothie in peace, please. dhex

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dbcooper
Posts: 18024
Joined: 05 May 2010, 15:40

Re: Twitter!

Post by dbcooper » 14 Sep 2011, 15:28

Nick_Nolte wrote:If anyone ever hacks my phone like Scarlett Johansson, the internet will be awash with pictures of dumps I just took.
Slip inside a sleeping bag.

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Kolohe
Posts: 13529
Joined: 06 May 2010, 10:51

Re: Twitter!

Post by Kolohe » 14 Sep 2011, 17:17

I never knew Ms. Johansson was so l337.
when you wake up as the queen of the n=1 kingdom and mount your steed non sequiturius, do you look out upon all you survey and think “damn, it feels good to be a green idea sleeping furiously?" - dhex

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dbcooper
Posts: 18024
Joined: 05 May 2010, 15:40

Re: Twitter!

Post by dbcooper » 21 Sep 2011, 23:15

A pithy little re-tweet from Jesse Walker:
Death by lethal cocktail: immoral for the terminally ill to choose, but moral for the government to force
Slip inside a sleeping bag.

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dbcooper
Posts: 18024
Joined: 05 May 2010, 15:40

Re: Twitter!

Post by dbcooper » 11 Nov 2011, 12:10

LOLGOP
Pete Nicely

Today, please honor, Bill O'Reilly, veteran of 11 Wars on Christmas.
Slip inside a sleeping bag.

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Jadagul
Posts: 6816
Joined: 26 Apr 2010, 18:51

Re: Twitter!

Post by Jadagul » 17 Nov 2011, 00:24

So I want to join twitter, and I'm having trouble picking a handle. I basically use "Jadagul" everywhere, and it's never taken, except on Twitter it is--by someone who's following 0 people and has tweeted 0 times. Which is annoying.

But since I can't fix that problem...anyone have suggestions that'd recognizably be me?

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dhex
Posts: 15474
Joined: 05 May 2010, 16:05
Location: 'murica

Re: Twitter!

Post by dhex » 17 Nov 2011, 00:32

DaRealJadagul
"I do wear my New Balance tennis shoes when I'm wearing cargo shorts, though, because truth in advertising." - lunch

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Hugh Akston
Posts: 17293
Joined: 05 May 2010, 15:51
Location: El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora Reina de los Angeles

Re: Twitter!

Post by Hugh Akston » 17 Nov 2011, 00:50

@DancingPolymath
"Is a Lulztopia the best we can hope for?!?" ~Taktix®
"Inexplicably cockfighting monsters that live in your pants" ~Jadagul

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Jadagul
Posts: 6816
Joined: 26 Apr 2010, 18:51

Re: Twitter!

Post by Jadagul » 17 Nov 2011, 02:19

Hugh Akston wrote:@DancingPolymath
Don't want people to be able to google me if they know me in real life. :P

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Hugh Akston
Posts: 17293
Joined: 05 May 2010, 15:51
Location: El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora Reina de los Angeles

Re: Twitter!

Post by Hugh Akston » 20 Nov 2011, 20:14

Publisher and noted vigilante-hater J. Jonah Jameson has been dragged into the 21st century.
"Is a Lulztopia the best we can hope for?!?" ~Taktix®
"Inexplicably cockfighting monsters that live in your pants" ~Jadagul

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Ellie
Posts: 11607
Joined: 21 Apr 2010, 18:34

Re: Twitter!

Post by Ellie » 03 Dec 2011, 01:47

I am finding the #MovieOrBowelMovement meme quite amusing, because I am twelve.
"NB stands for nota bene do not @ me" - nicole

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dbcooper
Posts: 18024
Joined: 05 May 2010, 15:40

Re: Twitter!

Post by dbcooper » 15 Dec 2011, 23:51


Sarah Lyall wrote:A man in Fulham who I couldn't help with directions to a Chinese restaurant just told me to "fuck off back to your own bloody country."
:lol: There's some London xmas spirit for you.
Slip inside a sleeping bag.

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Kolohe
Posts: 13529
Joined: 06 May 2010, 10:51

Re: Twitter!

Post by Kolohe » 17 Dec 2011, 23:22

Give me an army that is willing to die and they will beat any army that is willing to kill #Occupythevotedc #occupydc
Per the Patton Rule, I'd much rather have the army willing to kill.
when you wake up as the queen of the n=1 kingdom and mount your steed non sequiturius, do you look out upon all you survey and think “damn, it feels good to be a green idea sleeping furiously?" - dhex

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Hugh Akston
Posts: 17293
Joined: 05 May 2010, 15:51
Location: El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora Reina de los Angeles

Re: Twitter!

Post by Hugh Akston » 17 Dec 2011, 23:47

Kolohe wrote:
Give me an army that is willing to die and they will beat any army that is willing to kill #Occupythevotedc #occupydc
Per the Patton Rule, I'd much rather have the army willing to kill.
When an army that is willing to die meets an army that is willing to kill, what you have left over is an army that is willing to kill minus a few bullets.
"Is a Lulztopia the best we can hope for?!?" ~Taktix®
"Inexplicably cockfighting monsters that live in your pants" ~Jadagul

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Number 6
Posts: 2872
Joined: 26 Apr 2010, 16:41

Re: Twitter!

Post by Number 6 » 18 Dec 2011, 11:27

I'm on as @SomeMedic
And no, I don't expect to be interesting.
" i discovered you eat dog dicks out of a bowl marked "dog dicks" because you're too stupid to remember where you left your bowl of dog dicks."-dhex, of course.
"Come, let us go forth and not rape together"-Jadagul

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D.A. Ridgely
Posts: 17940
Joined: 26 Apr 2010, 17:09
Location: The Other Side

Re: Twitter!

Post by D.A. Ridgely » 13 Jan 2012, 15:50

Having discovered blogging to be far too much work, I have joined Twitter instead and posted my first tweet.

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the innominate one
Posts: 12356
Joined: 17 May 2011, 16:17
Location: hypertime continuum

Re: Twitter!

Post by the innominate one » 13 Jan 2012, 15:58

Nice!
"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies." -E Benn

"No shit, Sherlock." -JsubD

"now is the time to go fuck yourself until you die." -dhex

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Mo
Posts: 23217
Joined: 26 Apr 2010, 17:08

Re: Twitter!

Post by Mo » 13 Jan 2012, 16:13

It's like the gryll version of "Shit My Dad Says"
his voice is so soothing, but why do conspiracy nuts always sound like Batman and Robin solving one of Riddler's puzzles out loud? - fod

no one ever yells worldstar when a pet gets fucked up - dhex

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dbcooper
Posts: 18024
Joined: 05 May 2010, 15:40

Re: Twitter!

Post by dbcooper » 13 Jan 2012, 17:12

DAR you may like @DrSamuelJohnson
The perfidious FRENCH are punish'd with a Down-Grade of their Credit Rating, as Punishment for Mister Mitt ROMNEY speaking in their TONGUE
Slip inside a sleeping bag.

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the innominate one
Posts: 12356
Joined: 17 May 2011, 16:17
Location: hypertime continuum

Re: Twitter!

Post by the innominate one » 14 Jan 2012, 20:14

Ok, if DAR is going to tweet, I might have consider doing so also. Not that I'm as pithy as he is. Also, I'm subtly in competition with a friend to see who can be the bigger luddite.
"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies." -E Benn

"No shit, Sherlock." -JsubD

"now is the time to go fuck yourself until you die." -dhex

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Jadagul
Posts: 6816
Joined: 26 Apr 2010, 18:51

Re: Twitter!

Post by Jadagul » 17 Jan 2012, 03:14

Having resolved my previous issue, I'm now on twitter as Jadagul_Prime. I just went through Stevo's list of followers, so I think I caught everyone, but maybe not. No promises that I'll ever actually say anything, though.

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dbcooper
Posts: 18024
Joined: 05 May 2010, 15:40

Re: Twitter!

Post by dbcooper » 17 Jan 2012, 03:19

I am dbcooper0.
Slip inside a sleeping bag.

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D.A. Ridgely
Posts: 17940
Joined: 26 Apr 2010, 17:09
Location: The Other Side

Re: Twitter!

Post by D.A. Ridgely » 17 Jan 2012, 09:50

Jadagul wrote:Having resolved my previous issue, I'm now on twitter as Jadagul_Prime. I just went through Stevo's list of followers, so I think I caught everyone, but maybe not. No promises that I'll ever actually say anything, though.
Jadagul_Irrational would have been funnier.

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Ayn_Randian
Posts: 10727
Joined: 08 May 2010, 14:58

Re: Twitter!

Post by Ayn_Randian » 22 Jan 2012, 21:56

Officially on twitter, for Lord knows what reason, as StDruckenmiller.
It has the effect of making me want desperately to do the opposite of what Green Day is suggesting I should want to do. Billy Joe Whassname may have created a generation of war mongers. - Jason L

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Jadagul
Posts: 6816
Joined: 26 Apr 2010, 18:51

Re: Twitter!

Post by Jadagul » 22 Jan 2012, 22:05

D.A. Ridgely wrote:
Jadagul wrote:Having resolved my previous issue, I'm now on twitter as Jadagul_Prime. I just went through Stevo's list of followers, so I think I caught everyone, but maybe not. No promises that I'll ever actually say anything, though.
Jadagul_Irrational would have been funnier.
Actually considered that.

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