Twitter!

Music, books, movies, TV, games, hobbies, food, and potent potables. And forum games! Pour a drink, put on your smoking jacket, light a pipe (of whatever), and settle in.
User avatar
nicole
Posts: 9074
Joined: 12 Jan 2013, 16:28

Re: Twitter!

Post by nicole » 19 Sep 2018, 10:27

Oh yeah but it’s the part where it goes like this that’s dead serious

"Fucking qualia." -Hugh Akston

"This is why I carry a shoehorn.” -jadagul

User avatar
Ellie
Posts: 11585
Joined: 21 Apr 2010, 18:34

Re: Twitter!

Post by Ellie » 19 Sep 2018, 14:41

For real, though, Bert and Ernie are gay. If Miss PIggy can be trying to fuck Kermit every five minutes then we can have some damn homo puppets too.
"NB stands for nota bene do not @ me" - nicole

User avatar
Jasper
Posts: 2912
Joined: 27 Apr 2010, 07:56
Location: Newyorkachusetts

Re: Twitter!

Post by Jasper » 19 Sep 2018, 14:43

Ellie wrote:
19 Sep 2018, 14:41
For real, though, Bert and Ernie are gay. If Miss PIggy can be trying to fuck Kermit every five minutes then we can have some damn homo puppets too.
Not woke enough. Grover has to transition.
"i'd like to move toward not combusting except on special occasions like arbor day." - dhex

User avatar
JD
Posts: 10438
Joined: 05 May 2010, 15:26

Re: Twitter!

Post by JD » 19 Sep 2018, 16:05

"Millennials are lazy. They'd rather have avocado toast than cave in a man's skull with a tire iron!" -FFF

User avatar
Andrew
Posts: 6254
Joined: 26 Apr 2010, 21:52
Location: Vale of Eternal Fire

Re: Twitter!

Post by Andrew » 19 Sep 2018, 16:13

TIL that straight male friends can never be roommates.
We live in the fucked age. Get used to it. - dhex

The sun only shines when a woman is being sexually abused. - Warren

User avatar
nicole
Posts: 9074
Joined: 12 Jan 2013, 16:28

Re: Twitter!

Post by nicole » 19 Sep 2018, 16:35

Ellie wrote:
19 Sep 2018, 14:41
For real, though, Bert and Ernie are gay. If Miss PIggy can be trying to fuck Kermit every five minutes then we can have some damn homo puppets too.
What is with people not respecting the difference between The Muppet Show, which is obviously sexual, with Sesame Street, which is obviously ace. Smdh.
"Fucking qualia." -Hugh Akston

"This is why I carry a shoehorn.” -jadagul

User avatar
Ellie
Posts: 11585
Joined: 21 Apr 2010, 18:34

Re: Twitter!

Post by Ellie » 19 Sep 2018, 17:52

So can we at least ship Statler and Waldorf, then?
"NB stands for nota bene do not @ me" - nicole

User avatar
nicole
Posts: 9074
Joined: 12 Jan 2013, 16:28

Re: Twitter!

Post by nicole » 19 Sep 2018, 18:26

Yessss
"Fucking qualia." -Hugh Akston

"This is why I carry a shoehorn.” -jadagul

User avatar
Kolohe
Posts: 13518
Joined: 06 May 2010, 10:51

Re: Twitter!

Post by Kolohe » 19 Sep 2018, 18:33

Andrew wrote:
19 Sep 2018, 16:13
TIL that straight male friends can never be roommates.
For 49 years?
when you wake up as the queen of the n=1 kingdom and mount your steed non sequiturius, do you look out upon all you survey and think “damn, it feels good to be a green idea sleeping furiously?" - dhex

User avatar
Mo
Posts: 23197
Joined: 26 Apr 2010, 17:08

Re: Twitter!

Post by Mo » 19 Sep 2018, 18:44

Andrew wrote:TIL that straight male friends can never be roommates.
Wasn’t “he’s my roommate” the tradition way to conceal a homosexual relationship? This is uncle Bert’s ‘friend’ Ernie.
his voice is so soothing, but why do conspiracy nuts always sound like Batman and Robin solving one of Riddler's puzzles out loud? - fod

no one ever yells worldstar when a pet gets fucked up - dhex

User avatar
Jennifer
Posts: 22870
Joined: 28 Apr 2010, 14:03

Re: Twitter!

Post by Jennifer » 19 Sep 2018, 18:50

What bothers me is that I'm seeing a LOT of bitching a la "If Bert and Ernie are gay, that means Sesame Street is teaching kids about homosexual sex acts!" -- yet, obviously, they don't make the same complaints about married male/female human characters: "If Sesame Street has a married couple, that means they're teaching kids about hetero sex acts!" But for gay couples, it's always and ONLY about the sex.
"Myself, despite what they say about libertarians, I think we're actually allowed to pursue options beyond futility or sucking the dicks of the powerful." -- Eric the .5b

User avatar
Eric the .5b
Posts: 12523
Joined: 26 Apr 2010, 16:29

Re: Twitter!

Post by Eric the .5b » 19 Sep 2018, 18:53

Kolohe wrote:
19 Sep 2018, 18:33
Andrew wrote:
19 Sep 2018, 16:13
TIL that straight male friends can never be roommates.
For 49 years?
The police have never rousted that grumpy homeless guy who hangs out in front of their place over the same span of time. Neither have those two guys gone off to an assisted living center, since they'd have to be at least 70 by now.

Personally, I'd believe Peppermint Patty and Marcie well before Bert & Ernie, if only because Bert is the sort of guy who would be dramatically and deliberately romantic with a comical degree of planning and insistence on perfection. Meanwhile, try to imagine an Ernie who wouldn't inflict surprise PDAs on Bert all the time, followed by that kh-hh-hh-hh-hhh laugh as Bert sputtered/blushed/whatever.
"Better that ten guilty persons escape than that one innocent suffer."
"Cyberpunk never really gave the government enough credit for their ability to secure a favorable prenup during the Corporate-State wedding." - Shem

User avatar
Eric the .5b
Posts: 12523
Joined: 26 Apr 2010, 16:29

Re: Twitter!

Post by Eric the .5b » 19 Sep 2018, 18:59

Ellie wrote:
19 Sep 2018, 17:52
So can we at least ship Statler and Waldorf, then?
Especially if you imagine what they must sound like in bed.

ETA: Do they occasionally have threesomes and heckle the unfortunate third?
Last edited by Eric the .5b on 19 Sep 2018, 19:11, edited 1 time in total.
"Better that ten guilty persons escape than that one innocent suffer."
"Cyberpunk never really gave the government enough credit for their ability to secure a favorable prenup during the Corporate-State wedding." - Shem

User avatar
Warren
Posts: 24803
Joined: 26 Apr 2010, 17:03
Location: Goat Rope MO
Contact:

Re: Twitter!

Post by Warren » 19 Sep 2018, 19:00

Mo wrote:
19 Sep 2018, 18:44
Andrew wrote:TIL that straight male friends can never be roommates.
Wasn’t “he’s my roommate” the tradition way to conceal a homosexual relationship? This is uncle Bert’s ‘friend’ Ernie.
It's true though. Heterosexual guys use to be able to form deep friendships that isn't really possible anymore.
THIS SPACE FOR RENT

User avatar
nicole
Posts: 9074
Joined: 12 Jan 2013, 16:28

Re: Twitter!

Post by nicole » 19 Sep 2018, 19:41

Eric the .5b wrote:
19 Sep 2018, 18:53
Kolohe wrote:
19 Sep 2018, 18:33
Andrew wrote:
19 Sep 2018, 16:13
TIL that straight male friends can never be roommates.
For 49 years?
The police have never rousted that grumpy homeless guy who hangs out in front of their place over the same span of time. Neither have those two guys gone off to an assisted living center, since they'd have to be at least 70 by now.

Personally, I'd believe Peppermint Patty and Marcie well before Bert & Ernie, if only because Bert is the sort of guy who would be dramatically and deliberately romantic with a comical degree of planning and insistence on perfection. Meanwhile, try to imagine an Ernie who wouldn't inflict surprise PDAs on Bert all the time, followed by that kh-hh-hh-hh-hhh laugh as Bert sputtered/blushed/whatever.
So true.
"Fucking qualia." -Hugh Akston

"This is why I carry a shoehorn.” -jadagul

User avatar
Jadagul
Posts: 6811
Joined: 26 Apr 2010, 18:51

Re: Twitter!

Post by Jadagul » 19 Sep 2018, 20:07

You know, the wonderful thing about death of the author...

And of course in these cases that's doubly true, because there's more than one author and they can have different views on the same question.

User avatar
dhex
Posts: 15470
Joined: 05 May 2010, 16:05
Location: 'murica

Re: Twitter!

Post by dhex » 19 Sep 2018, 20:32

Warren wrote:
19 Sep 2018, 19:00
Mo wrote:
19 Sep 2018, 18:44
Andrew wrote:TIL that straight male friends can never be roommates.
Wasn’t “he’s my roommate” the tradition way to conceal a homosexual relationship? This is uncle Bert’s ‘friend’ Ernie.
It's true though. Heterosexual guys use to be able to form deep friendships that isn't really possible anymore.
Heh heh deep heh heh
"I do wear my New Balance tennis shoes when I'm wearing cargo shorts, though, because truth in advertising." - lunch

User avatar
Aresen
Posts: 14703
Joined: 26 Apr 2010, 20:18
Location: Great White Pacific Northwest

Re: Twitter!

Post by Aresen » 19 Sep 2018, 20:38

Jennifer wrote:
19 Sep 2018, 18:50
What bothers me is that I'm seeing a LOT of bitching a la "If Bert and Ernie are gay, that means Sesame Street is teaching kids about homosexual sex acts!" -- yet, obviously, they don't make the same complaints about married male/female human characters: "If Sesame Street has a married couple, that means they're teaching kids about hetero sex acts!" But for gay couples, it's always and ONLY about the sex.
As if a guy wanting it with a pig wasn't weird enough. Especially as the guy's a frog. (When I think about it, just about every male guest star hit on Miss Piggy. The Muppets support beastiality!!!)
If Trump supporters wanted a tough guy, why did they elect such a whiny bitch? - Mo

Those who know history are doomed to deja vu. - the innominate one

Never bring a knife to a joke fight" - dhex

User avatar
Jennifer
Posts: 22870
Joined: 28 Apr 2010, 14:03

Re: Twitter!

Post by Jennifer » 19 Sep 2018, 21:16

Aresen wrote:
19 Sep 2018, 20:38
Jennifer wrote:
19 Sep 2018, 18:50
What bothers me is that I'm seeing a LOT of bitching a la "If Bert and Ernie are gay, that means Sesame Street is teaching kids about homosexual sex acts!" -- yet, obviously, they don't make the same complaints about married male/female human characters: "If Sesame Street has a married couple, that means they're teaching kids about hetero sex acts!" But for gay couples, it's always and ONLY about the sex.
As if a guy wanting it with a pig wasn't weird enough. Especially as the guy's a frog. (When I think about it, just about every male guest star hit on Miss Piggy. The Muppets support beastiality!!!)
I don't remember if the Kermit/Piggy couple was a thing on Sesame Street, or only on the Muppet Show, but either way -- a kid young enough to be in Sesame Street's target audience is not thinking about couples having sex (unless the poor kid has been molested or something else to make them far more "sexualized" than a typical kid that age). I knew the basics of how babies are made when I was still watching Sesame Street -- I remember an age-appropriate book or pamphlet I had about it at the time, though the only specific thing I remember about the book now was that it described the actual act of intercourse "as close as a man and woman can be," which made sense to three- or four-year-old me when I read it -- but even though I knew Kermit and Miss Piggy were "dating," I still did not think about them having sex. IIRC when I watched SS back in the day at least two of the human actors played a married couple -- didn't think about them having sex either, even though I knew the basic details of how that would work. Even if Sesame Street gets enough with the times that Bert and Ernie got married, I still doubt any little kids watching will think about them having sex with each other (unless they hear their homophobic parents ranting about it). That's not how kids think.

Semi-related: I remember a joke in the Lego Movie (which I non-ironically like -- #noshame): Wildstyle and her boyfriend Batman are riding in the Batmobile and Batman says "Let's hold hands." Which is as hot-n-heavy as they get -- which in turn makes perfect sense, given that the entire movie is -- spoiler alert! --
.
.
.
.
-- a fantasy concocted by an eight-year-old boy.
"Myself, despite what they say about libertarians, I think we're actually allowed to pursue options beyond futility or sucking the dicks of the powerful." -- Eric the .5b

User avatar
Aresen
Posts: 14703
Joined: 26 Apr 2010, 20:18
Location: Great White Pacific Northwest

Re: Twitter!

Post by Aresen » 19 Sep 2018, 21:30

Jennifer wrote:
19 Sep 2018, 21:16
Even if Sesame Street gets enough with the times that Bert and Ernie got married, I still doubt any little kids watching will think about them having sex with each other (unless they hear their homophobic parents ranting about it). That's not how kids think.
I would pay good money to watch the reaction video of Christian, Muslim, and Jewish fundamentalists watching that episode.
If Trump supporters wanted a tough guy, why did they elect such a whiny bitch? - Mo

Those who know history are doomed to deja vu. - the innominate one

Never bring a knife to a joke fight" - dhex

User avatar
Pham Nuwen
Posts: 6785
Joined: 27 Apr 2010, 02:17

Re: Twitter!

Post by Pham Nuwen » 19 Sep 2018, 22:13

*looks at thread*

Hmmmmm. *reads comments*

Okay. Wtf? The hell is the matter with you people? Y'all need some jesus in your life.
Goddamn libertarian message board. Hugh Akston

leave me to my mescaline smoothie in peace, please. dhex

User avatar
Ellie
Posts: 11585
Joined: 21 Apr 2010, 18:34

Re: Twitter!

Post by Ellie » 19 Sep 2018, 22:29

Some gay puppet Jesus, maybe
"NB stands for nota bene do not @ me" - nicole

User avatar
Jennifer
Posts: 22870
Joined: 28 Apr 2010, 14:03

Re: Twitter!

Post by Jennifer » 19 Sep 2018, 22:30

Pham Nuwen wrote:
19 Sep 2018, 22:13
Y'all need some jesus in your life.
Type O Negative covered that already, in their classic hymn "Christian Woman":
.... Corpus Christi
She needs
Corpus Christi, Corpus Christi

Body of Christ
She needs
Body of Christ, body of Christ

She wants to know God
love God
feel her God
inside of her
deep inside of her .....
"Myself, despite what they say about libertarians, I think we're actually allowed to pursue options beyond futility or sucking the dicks of the powerful." -- Eric the .5b

User avatar
Aresen
Posts: 14703
Joined: 26 Apr 2010, 20:18
Location: Great White Pacific Northwest

Re: Twitter!

Post by Aresen » 19 Sep 2018, 22:46

Ellie wrote:
19 Sep 2018, 22:29
Some gay puppet Jesus, maybe
In Revelations 3:20, Jesus wrote:Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.
If Trump supporters wanted a tough guy, why did they elect such a whiny bitch? - Mo

Those who know history are doomed to deja vu. - the innominate one

Never bring a knife to a joke fight" - dhex

User avatar
Jennifer
Posts: 22870
Joined: 28 Apr 2010, 14:03

Re: Twitter!

Post by Jennifer » 19 Sep 2018, 23:12

Wasn't there a verse or two in the Song of Solomon which, though hyper-poetic, was clearly describing the man's gorgeous penis? I know the "my head is full of dew" verse is understood to be a reference to pre-ejaculate coming out, but I could've sworn there was a verse said from the woman's perspective going on and on about his gorgeous blue-veined dick. Cannot find it now, though.

EDIT: No, wait, I found it: 5:14 says "His hands [are as] gold rings set with the beryl: his belly [is as] bright ivory overlaid [with] sapphires," but reference texts say that "belly" was meant figuratively as "seat of affections." As for those blue sapphires ....
"Myself, despite what they say about libertarians, I think we're actually allowed to pursue options beyond futility or sucking the dicks of the powerful." -- Eric the .5b

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests