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[lunchstealer]

For real, though, Bert and Ernie are gay. If Miss PIggy can be trying to fuck Kermit every five minutes then we can have some damn homo puppets too.

Not woke enough. Grover has to transition.

See this is always what confused preschool lunchstealer about the relationship between Big Bird and Snuffalupagus.

[lunchstealer]

Some gay puppet Jesus, maybe

And if by life you mean butt.

[Mo]

TIL that straight male friends can never be roommates.

Wasn’t “he’s my roommate” the tradition way to conceal a homosexual relationship? This is uncle Bert’s ‘friend’ Ernie.

It's true though. Heterosexual guys use to be able to form deep friendships that isn't really possible anymore.

They can't? Is this like how men and women can't be close friends because in the post-Lawrence world one of the dudes will try to bang the other?

[Ellie]

Wasn't there a verse or two in the Song of Solomon which, though hyper-poetic, was clearly describing the man's gorgeous penis? I know the "my head is full of dew" verse is understood to be a reference to pre-ejaculate coming out, but I could've sworn there was a verse said from the woman's perspective going on and on about his gorgeous blue-veined dick. Cannot find it now, though.

I don't remember the veiny verse but I do remember the donkey semen one: "There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses."

[JD]

When I was at the laundromat this morning, they had Univision on the TV, and one of the news graphics that came up said "How to explain homosexuality to your children", with a picture of Bert and Ernie.

But the whole "Bert and Ernie are gay" thing bothers me not because of the gayness but because...what does it mean, anyway? They don't describe themselves as a couple. No one else on Sesame Street describes them as a couple. They aren't physically affectionate. What would it actually mean for them to be gay or not, in this context? I mean, this is not the first time this sort of issue has come up: is a character ____ because of some extra-canon ideas about them, even if those ideas are those of the creator.

Also I want to say: Bert, you could do better. Ernie does not respect you enough.

[Andrew]

TIL that straight male friends can never be roommates.

Wasn’t “he’s my roommate” the tradition way to conceal a homosexual relationship? This is uncle Bert’s ‘friend’ Ernie.

It's true though. Heterosexual guys use to be able to form deep friendships that isn't really possible anymore.

They can't? Is this like how men and women can't be close friends because in the post-Lawrence world one of the dudes will try to bang the other?

They can still form them, but then it's subject to terms like "bromance." Maybe I'm just falling short, but I can't recall a mocking term regularly used in pop culture for close female friends that says they're really just lesbians.

[Ellie]

I've never understood "bromance" to be implying the dudes are actually gay for each other (or even subconsciously gay for each other). It is a bit of a mocking term, or just a term to imply "look how unusual that is!" -- which does underscore the fact that it's seen as a bit weird for two dudes to form a deep, close, hetero friendship with each other. But there's no gay implication (and you know I am all about the gay implications )

[Warren]

I've never understood "bromance" to be implying the dudes are actually gay for each other (or even subconsciously gay for each other). It is a bit of a mocking term, or just a term to imply "look how unusual that is!" -- which does underscore the fact that it's seen as a bit weird for two dudes to form a deep, close, hetero friendship with each other. But there's no gay implication (and you know I am all about the gay implications )

It is a mocking term, and male/male friendship wasn't mocked or looked askance at prior to homosexual acceptance. Look at this bullshit about Bert and Ernie. That wasn't a thing. Two dudes that are close now have to contend with the spoken/unspoken assumption/insistence that they're gay. No matter how self-assured one is in their own sexuality, that's a thorn.

I'm not saying things were better then. I'm saying that whenever social change happens there are consequences and we shouldn't dismiss them. Of course it's better when we stop oppressing people. But please don't @ me when I lament something valuable that has been lost.

[Jennifer]

Wasn't there a verse or two in the Song of Solomon which, though hyper-poetic, was clearly describing the man's gorgeous penis? I know the "my head is full of dew" verse is understood to be a reference to pre-ejaculate coming out, but I could've sworn there was a verse said from the woman's perspective going on and on about his gorgeous blue-veined dick. Cannot find it now, though.

I don't remember the veiny verse but I do remember the donkey semen one: "There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses."

That's in Ezekiel. (I know this because somewhere I have a book called "Ken's Guide to the Bible," which is exclusively a list of the fucked-up or downright evil shit in the Bible, and Ezekiel 23:20 was the "test verse" Ken recommends using to determine just how understandable a given translation is. The KJV merely says "For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses" which hides the WTFery behind flowery Elizabethan* prose. You need one of the more modern translations to know exactly what the original writer was talking about.)

*Trivia fact: though King James gets the credit for that Bible, the overwhelming majority of work on it was done during Elizabeth's reign.

[lunchstealer]

Let's face it though, the gay thing with Bert and Ernie is just a cover for their deep and shameful secret.

BertAndErnieHailHydra.jpg (29.75 KiB) Viewed 147 times

[Mo]

Who gave Ellie the keys to the WaPo Twitter account?

[Ellie]

For real, though, that just made me interested in the U.N. for about the first time ever.

BAAAAAAABY OMG

[Mo]

Come for the hilarious made up story by a mom about her son not going on dates because of #MeToo

Stay for the revelation that Mitch McConnell's son-in-law is a meditation dance instructor.