Make a box-office flop!

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Aresen
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Make a box-office flop!

Post by Aresen » 05 Mar 2019, 23:13

An amusing premise I saw on Youtube: You are given $300 million to make a movie, but it has to bomb at the box office or you die. What movie do you make?

(I know this is the premise of The Producers, but I am sure the gryllitariat can be creative.)

A couple of my suggestions:
1) Make a new Green Lantern movie with Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez in the title role.
2) Remake 12 Angry Men with Donald Trump playing every role.
3) Make a movie starring Kevin Costner.
If Trump supporters wanted a tough guy, why did they elect such a whiny bitch? - Mo

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thoreau
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Re: Make a box-office flop!

Post by thoreau » 05 Mar 2019, 23:28

I'd do a cheap knockoff of The Producers, written by a bunch of internet dorks who have no movie experience but think they're so smart because they are fans of market economics.

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Painboy
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Re: Make a box-office flop!

Post by Painboy » 06 Mar 2019, 00:47

Hire Tommy Wiseau to make a movie.

That or give it to Zack Snyder and tell him he can do whatever he wants but it needs to be really, really, grimdark. No pussy footing it around like his last movies. Butthole dark.

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Hugh Akston
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Re: Make a box-office flop!

Post by Hugh Akston » 06 Mar 2019, 00:59

Painboy wrote:
06 Mar 2019, 00:47
Hire Tommy Wiseau to make a movie.

That or give it to Zack Snyder and tell him he can do whatever he wants but it needs to be really, really, grimdark. No pussy footing it around like his last movies. Butthole dark.
Assuming Tommy Wiseau gets a cut of the midnight showings that do pretty well, I have a hard time calling his feature debut a flop.

As for the second one, it's been done.
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JasonL
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Re: Make a box-office flop!

Post by JasonL » 06 Mar 2019, 07:34

Shyamalan does Hitchcock, Kevin Spacey stars. North by Northwest but with a twist? Aliens or something? Travolta is the alien?

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Jasper
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Re: Make a box-office flop!

Post by Jasper » 06 Mar 2019, 09:53

Remake Stripes but with women. :lol:
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lunchstealer
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Re: Make a box-office flop!

Post by lunchstealer » 06 Mar 2019, 10:01

JasonL wrote:Shyamalan does Hitchcock, Kevin Spacey stars. North by Northwest but with a twist? Aliens or something? Travolta is the alien?
Battlefield Earth but for Mormons
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Re: Make a box-office flop!

Post by lunchstealer » 06 Mar 2019, 10:02

Jasper wrote:Remake Stripes but with women. :lol:
Or a gender flipped Private Benjamin.
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Re: Make a box-office flop!

Post by Pham Nuwen » 06 Mar 2019, 11:15

Do a remake of atlas shrugged. It's the same movie unchanged. Splice in a giant dinosaur creature that people are riding in the background. Have director publicly state he wanted that and other visuals but couldn't put them in the original.
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Re: Make a box-office flop!

Post by Warren » 06 Mar 2019, 11:30

Jasper wrote:
06 Mar 2019, 09:53
Remake Stripes but with women. :lol:
Oh. Very good Jasper.
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Hugh Akston
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Re: Make a box-office flop!

Post by Hugh Akston » 06 Mar 2019, 22:12

God's Not Dead 4: But She is Transgender
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Eric the .5b
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Re: Make a box-office flop!

Post by Eric the .5b » 06 Mar 2019, 22:24

Painboy wrote:
06 Mar 2019, 00:47
That or give it to Zack Snyder and tell him he can do whatever he wants but it needs to be really, really, grimdark. No pussy footing it around like his last movies. Butthole dark.
And it has to be a children's cartoon property.
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dhex
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Re: Make a box-office flop!

Post by dhex » 06 Mar 2019, 22:55

Five hour movie about Hilary clinton.
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Aresen
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Re: Make a box-office flop!

Post by Aresen » 06 Mar 2019, 23:35

dhex wrote:
06 Mar 2019, 22:55
Five hour movie about Hilary clinton.
I think that one's been running for some time.
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Mo
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Re: Make a box-office flop!

Post by Mo » 07 Mar 2019, 06:47

Ryan Reynolds and Nic Cage star in The Blues Brothers.

Also, Mean Girls, but with the cast of Con Air.
his voice is so soothing, but why do conspiracy nuts always sound like Batman and Robin solving one of Riddler's puzzles out loud? - fod

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Pham Nuwen
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Re: Make a box-office flop!

Post by Pham Nuwen » 07 Mar 2019, 08:55

Mo wrote:
07 Mar 2019, 06:47
Ryan Reynolds and Nic Cage star in The Blues Brothers.

Also, Mean Girls, but with the cast of Con Air.
Flops. You're supposed to create a flop. Not an amazing cinematic experience.
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Re: Make a box-office flop!

Post by Warren » 07 Mar 2019, 09:29

Hugh Akston wrote:
06 Mar 2019, 22:12
God's Not Dead 4: But She is Transgender
legit lol
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JasonL
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Re: Make a box-office flop!

Post by JasonL » 07 Mar 2019, 11:34

Big Data says we should grab Brad Pitt and Johnny Depp to ensure worst rate of return. Stay clear of Emilio Estevez who is a return on investment machine.

https://www.marketwatch.com/story/this- ... 2017-10-19

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thoreau
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Re: Make a box-office flop!

Post by thoreau » 07 Mar 2019, 11:44

I feel like Rand Paul needs to be involved somehow.
"They were basically like D&D min maxers, but instead of pissing off their DM, they destroyed the global economy. Also, instead of their DM making a level 7 paladin fight a beholder as punishment, he got a +3 sword of turning."
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Rachel
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Re: Make a box-office flop!

Post by Rachel » 07 Mar 2019, 11:45

A movie about Apollo 12 or 14

The Fountainhead, with the gender roles of the main characters flipped. The Randroids, the main audience, would not stand for that. No one else cares about The Fountainhead. Make it about 5 hours long. Definite failure.
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Re: Make a box-office flop!

Post by lunchstealer » 07 Mar 2019, 12:43

Rachel wrote:
07 Mar 2019, 11:45
A movie about Apollo 12 or 14

The Fountainhead, with the gender roles of the main characters flipped. The Randroids, the main audience, would not stand for that. No one else cares about The Fountainhead. Make it about 5 hours long. Definite failure.
Alan Bean was awesome, but yeah it would be niche so blowing $300m would lose all the moneys.

But everyone should watch the "That's All there Is" episode of From the Earth to the Moon. Dave Foley plays an astronaut.
"The constitution is more of a BDSM agreement with a safe word." - Sandy

"Neoliberalism. Austerity. Booga booga!!!!" - JasonL

"We can't confirm rumors that Lynndie England is in the running to be Gina Haspel's personal aide." - DAR

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Kolohe
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Re: Make a box-office flop!

Post by Kolohe » 07 Mar 2019, 15:33

thoreau wrote:
07 Mar 2019, 11:44
I feel like Rand Paul needs to be involved somehow.
Anthem starting Logan Paul.
when you wake up as the queen of the n=1 kingdom and mount your steed non sequiturius, do you look out upon all you survey and think “damn, it feels good to be a green idea sleeping furiously?" - dhex

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lunchstealer
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Re: Make a box-office flop!

Post by lunchstealer » 07 Mar 2019, 15:49

Kolohe wrote:
07 Mar 2019, 15:33
thoreau wrote:
07 Mar 2019, 11:44
I feel like Rand Paul needs to be involved somehow.
Anthem starting Logan Paul.
Jesus dude. We're trying to make a flop, not commit war crimes.
"The constitution is more of a BDSM agreement with a safe word." - Sandy

"Neoliberalism. Austerity. Booga booga!!!!" - JasonL

"We can't confirm rumors that Lynndie England is in the running to be Gina Haspel's personal aide." - DAR

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Hugh Akston
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Re: Make a box-office flop!

Post by Hugh Akston » 07 Mar 2019, 16:29

Kolohe wrote:
07 Mar 2019, 15:33
thoreau wrote:
07 Mar 2019, 11:44
I feel like Rand Paul needs to be involved somehow.
Anthem starting Logan Paul.
Ryan Lochte's not busy these days.
"Is a Lulztopia the best we can hope for?!?" ~Taktix®
"Inexplicably cockfighting monsters that live in your pants" ~Jadagul

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Mo
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Re: Make a box-office flop!

Post by Mo » 07 Mar 2019, 18:54

Kolohe wrote:
thoreau wrote:
07 Mar 2019, 11:44
I feel like Rand Paul needs to be involved somehow.
Anthem starting Logan Paul.
Dudebros will make it break even.
his voice is so soothing, but why do conspiracy nuts always sound like Batman and Robin solving one of Riddler's puzzles out loud? - fod

no one ever yells worldstar when a pet gets fucked up - dhex

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