H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Music, books, movies, TV, games, hobbies, food, and potent potables. And forum games! Pour a drink, put on your smoking jacket, light a pipe (of whatever), and settle in.
User avatar
Painboy
Posts: 4589
Joined: 18 Feb 2013, 11:33
Location: Seattle

Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by Painboy »

Mo wrote: 26 Oct 2018, 16:18
Painboy wrote:Did any of his bombs work? Or at least might've if they had not been discovered?
I think some were operational, and some were not. Not sure about the first half, but I definitely know some had blasting caps not present.
I guess we're lucky he was mostly incompetent then.
User avatar
thoreau
Posts: 30059
Joined: 06 May 2010, 12:56
Location: Back to the lab again

Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by thoreau »

Painboy wrote: 26 Oct 2018, 17:03
Mo wrote: 26 Oct 2018, 16:18
Painboy wrote:Did any of his bombs work? Or at least might've if they had not been discovered?
I think some were operational, and some were not. Not sure about the first half, but I definitely know some had blasting caps not present.
I guess we're lucky he was mostly incompetent then.
He is, after all, Florida Man.
" Columbus wasn’t a profile in courage or brilliance despite the odds, he was a dumb motherfucker that got lucky. Oddly, that makes him the perfect talisman for the Trump era."
--Mo
User avatar
Hugh Akston
Posts: 19534
Joined: 05 May 2010, 15:51
Location: El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora Reina de los Angeles

Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by Hugh Akston »



"Is a Lulztopia the best we can hope for?!?" ~Taktix®
"Somali pirates are beholden to their hostages in a way that the USG is not." ~Dangerman
User avatar
Ellie
Posts: 13320
Joined: 21 Apr 2010, 18:34

Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by Ellie »

My various tiny house research and delightful judgey-ness have led me to recently lurk on the r/vandwellers subreddit. I wonder if they will be decrying how this guy makes them all look bad. #notallunwashedvanpeople
"Yours is the much better comeback." -JD
User avatar
Pham Nuwen
Posts: 8764
Joined: 27 Apr 2010, 02:17

Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by Pham Nuwen »

Ellie wrote: 26 Oct 2018, 20:37 My various tiny house research and delightful judgey-ness have led me to recently lurk on the r/vandwellers subreddit. I wonder if they will be decrying how this guy makes them all look bad. #notallunwashedvanpeople
Van dwellers are a proud lot. Go easy on them.
Goddamn libertarian message board. Hugh Akston

leave me to my mescaline smoothie in peace, please. dhex
User avatar
thoreau
Posts: 30059
Joined: 06 May 2010, 12:56
Location: Back to the lab again

Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by thoreau »

Van dwellers have big problems with toxic humidity if they haven't had a chance to do laundry for a while.
" Columbus wasn’t a profile in courage or brilliance despite the odds, he was a dumb motherfucker that got lucky. Oddly, that makes him the perfect talisman for the Trump era."
--Mo
User avatar
Kolohe
Posts: 14568
Joined: 06 May 2010, 10:51

Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by Kolohe »

Van dwellers, I thought, also try to stay inconspicuous, and this guy's van was...not that.
when you wake up as the queen of the n=1 kingdom and mount your steed non sequiturius, do you look out upon all you survey and think “damn, it feels good to be a green idea sleeping furiously?" - dhex
User avatar
Pham Nuwen
Posts: 8764
Joined: 27 Apr 2010, 02:17

Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by Pham Nuwen »

thoreau wrote: 26 Oct 2018, 21:21 Van dwellers have big problems with toxic humidity if they haven't had a chance to do laundry for a while.
I actually know several van dwellers. They are a haughty bunch who do not deign to admit any fault in their living arrangements.
Goddamn libertarian message board. Hugh Akston

leave me to my mescaline smoothie in peace, please. dhex
User avatar
Painboy
Posts: 4589
Joined: 18 Feb 2013, 11:33
Location: Seattle

Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by Painboy »

thoreau wrote: 26 Oct 2018, 17:11
Painboy wrote: 26 Oct 2018, 17:03
Mo wrote: 26 Oct 2018, 16:18
Painboy wrote:Did any of his bombs work? Or at least might've if they had not been discovered?
I think some were operational, and some were not. Not sure about the first half, but I definitely know some had blasting caps not present.
I guess we're lucky he was mostly incompetent then.
He is, after all, Florida Man.
Indeed. For those looking to disassociate themselves from him that might be the best bet. "He's from Florida. FLORIDA. No one can be responsible for that."
User avatar
thoreau
Posts: 30059
Joined: 06 May 2010, 12:56
Location: Back to the lab again

Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by thoreau »

This is what happens when you live in a van down by the river.
" Columbus wasn’t a profile in courage or brilliance despite the odds, he was a dumb motherfucker that got lucky. Oddly, that makes him the perfect talisman for the Trump era."
--Mo
User avatar
Taktix®
Posts: 8038
Joined: 07 May 2010, 05:29
Location: The Caribbean

Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by Taktix® »

I've seen the van driving around, and there's a lady that is a daytime line cook at my current job that worked with this fucking guy at New River Pizza in Fort Lauderdale. Also, the Autozone where they picked him up happens to be the one that sold me my windshield wiper fluid nozzle I just replaced two months ago.

Too fucking close, man.

This guy told the owner of New River Pizza (she was just on the news) that Jews should be all wiped out (and black people and liberals, etc), which, you know, includes my wife and daughters I guess.

My coworker said he was a very quiet weirdo, but, ya' know, it's South Florida, which is teeming with quiet weirdos.

:shock: :shock: :shock:
"Guilty as charged. Go ahead and ban me from the mall." - Ellie
User avatar
lunchstealer
Posts: 18815
Joined: 26 Apr 2010, 17:25
Location: The Local Fluff in the Local Bubble

Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by lunchstealer »

thoreau wrote: 26 Oct 2018, 22:11 This is what happens when you live in a van down by the river.
Well, down by the sludge canal, but I take your point.
"Dude she's the Purdue Pharma of the black pill." - JasonL

"This thread is like a dog park where everyone lets their preconceptions and biases run around and sniff each others butts." - Hugh Akston

"That's just tokenism with extra steps." - Jake
User avatar
Aresen
Posts: 17080
Joined: 26 Apr 2010, 20:18
Location: Great White Pacific Northwest

Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by Aresen »

If Trump supporters wanted a tough guy, why did they elect such a whiny bitch? - Mo

Those who know history are doomed to deja vu. - the innominate one

Never bring a knife to a joke fight" - dhex
User avatar
Eric the .5b
Posts: 14916
Joined: 26 Apr 2010, 16:29

Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by Eric the .5b »

That title buries the lede.
"Better that ten guilty persons escape than that one innocent suffer."
Cet animal est très méchant / Quand on l'attaque il se défend.
User avatar
Andrew
Posts: 7110
Joined: 26 Apr 2010, 21:52
Location: Vale of Eternal Fire

Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by Andrew »

Eric the .5b wrote: 15 May 2019, 01:10
That title buries the lede.
It really does. The comments about the wife are the best part.
We live in the fucked age. Get used to it. - dhex
User avatar
Aresen
Posts: 17080
Joined: 26 Apr 2010, 20:18
Location: Great White Pacific Northwest

Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by Aresen »

Florida man fatally shoots son-in-law who was trying to surprise him for his birthday
A Florida man who shot and killed his son-in-law who jumped out of a bush to surprise him for his birthday will not face criminal charges, authorities said.

Christopher Bergan, 37, had arrived in Florida from Norway on Tuesday night to surprise his wife's father, Richard Dennis, 61, Santa Rosa County Sheriff Bob Johnson said at a news conference Thursday.
If Trump supporters wanted a tough guy, why did they elect such a whiny bitch? - Mo

Those who know history are doomed to deja vu. - the innominate one

Never bring a knife to a joke fight" - dhex
User avatar
Hugh Akston
Posts: 19534
Joined: 05 May 2010, 15:51
Location: El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora Reina de los Angeles

Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by Hugh Akston »

Donald Trump is the real victim here. He loves people from Norway.
"Is a Lulztopia the best we can hope for?!?" ~Taktix®
"Somali pirates are beholden to their hostages in a way that the USG is not." ~Dangerman
User avatar
thoreau
Posts: 30059
Joined: 06 May 2010, 12:56
Location: Back to the lab again

Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by thoreau »

Florida man not sure if Frederick Douglass is still alive or not.

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/10/31/us/p ... 5xnHdqhqmA
" Columbus wasn’t a profile in courage or brilliance despite the odds, he was a dumb motherfucker that got lucky. Oddly, that makes him the perfect talisman for the Trump era."
--Mo
User avatar
Aresen
Posts: 17080
Joined: 26 Apr 2010, 20:18
Location: Great White Pacific Northwest

Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by Aresen »

Really, is there anything more appropriate for Trump than becoming a Florida Man?
If Trump supporters wanted a tough guy, why did they elect such a whiny bitch? - Mo

Those who know history are doomed to deja vu. - the innominate one

Never bring a knife to a joke fight" - dhex
User avatar
Hugh Akston
Posts: 19534
Joined: 05 May 2010, 15:51
Location: El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora Reina de los Angeles

Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by Hugh Akston »

Florida county board rejects library's New York Times subscription as 'fake news'
A motion to add a digital subscription to the paper for library users met quick opposition at the Board of County Commissioners in Citrus County, about 75 miles (121 km) north of Tampa.

“Do we really need to subscribe to The New York Times?” asked Scott Carnahan, the board’s second vice chairman, who led the opposition to the move at its Oct. 24 meeting, which was recorded.

"Fake news!" he exclaimed, echoing a slogan Trump has repeatedly used to criticize journalists here or news reports that contradict his opinion or policy positions.
"Is a Lulztopia the best we can hope for?!?" ~Taktix®
"Somali pirates are beholden to their hostages in a way that the USG is not." ~Dangerman
User avatar
Painboy
Posts: 4589
Joined: 18 Feb 2013, 11:33
Location: Seattle

Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by Painboy »

Florida woman arrested for threatening to get McDonald’s sauce by any ‘means necessary’

Bonus points for the article for using the word "fracas".
A Florida woman was arrested for threatening to rob a McDonald’s because they did not serve dipping sauce along with her food, a report said Monday.

Maguire Marie Mclaughlin, 19, was denied the condiment at a McDonald’s in Vero Beach, Fla., last week and pledged to obtain the dipping sauce “by whatever means necessary,” according to a police report obtained by The Smoking Gun.

The fracas allegedly took place at about 4 a.m. New Year’s Day when police arrived to witness Mclaughlin yelling profanities at the drive-thru because she claimed she did not receive all of her food.

“The employee advised Mclaughlin that dipping sauce cost 25 cents,” read the police report from the Indian River County Sheriff’s Office.

“Mclaughlin further stated that she would be getting the sauce by whatever means necessary, however, could not specify what she meant by that.”

The McDonald’s employees said they feared for their safety.
User avatar
Hugh Akston
Posts: 19534
Joined: 05 May 2010, 15:51
Location: El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora Reina de los Angeles

Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by Hugh Akston »

The McDonald’s employees said they feared for their safety.
To the McD employees credit, that's usually something you say after shooting someone in the back as they run away from you.
"Is a Lulztopia the best we can hope for?!?" ~Taktix®
"Somali pirates are beholden to their hostages in a way that the USG is not." ~Dangerman
User avatar
JD
Posts: 12066
Joined: 05 May 2010, 15:26

Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by JD »

OK, not Florida man exactly, but certainly an "only in Florida" warning from the National Weather Service:

Image

https://twit ter.com/NWSMiami/status/1219691736412246016
I sort of feel like a sucker about aspiring to be intellectually rigorous when I could just go on twitter and say capitalism causes space herpes and no one will challenge me on it. - Hugh Akston
User avatar
Aresen
Posts: 17080
Joined: 26 Apr 2010, 20:18
Location: Great White Pacific Northwest

Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by Aresen »

If Trump supporters wanted a tough guy, why did they elect such a whiny bitch? - Mo

Those who know history are doomed to deja vu. - the innominate one

Never bring a knife to a joke fight" - dhex
User avatar
Jennifer
Posts: 25785
Joined: 28 Apr 2010, 14:03

Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by Jennifer »

Huh. I've read that constipation is a fairly common side effect of opioid use; once he had the laxatives anyway perhaps he should've used a couple rather than toss them all.
"Myself, despite what they say about libertarians, I think we're actually allowed to pursue options beyond futility or sucking the dicks of the powerful." -- Eric the .5b
Post Reply