H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

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lunchstealer
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H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by lunchstealer » 01 Jun 2018, 17:08

This is simultaneously the most and least Florida thing in the history of Florida.
FloridaManBreaksInToPetKitty.jpg
FloridaManBreaksInToPetKitty.jpg (66.59 KiB) Viewed 675 times
[photo is screenshot of headline, "Florida Man Breaks into Neighbors' House to Pet Their Cat"]
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Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by thoreau » 01 Jun 2018, 17:45

Too lazy to look for it now, but some of the funniest tweets I saw recently were along the lines of "What would happen if the volcano were in Florida instead of Hawaii? How would Florida Man respond to the warning to not roast marshmallows over lava?"

https://www.sciencealert.com/erm-no-usg ... s-not-safe
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Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by Kolohe » 01 Jun 2018, 21:39

Question - is 'sapiens' actually the right word for Florida Man? Shouldn't it be, say, Homo cerritulus floridensis?
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Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by Andrew » 02 Jun 2018, 07:48

We live in the fucked age. Get used to it. - dhex

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Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by Aresen » 02 Jun 2018, 10:46

Kolohe wrote:
01 Jun 2018, 21:39
Question - is 'sapiens' actually the right word for Florida Man? Shouldn't it be, say, Homo cerritulus floridensis?
I'd go with "Pan floridensis", but that might offend the chimps.
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Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by Kolohe » 02 Jun 2018, 11:56

Andrew wrote:
02 Jun 2018, 07:48
A very aptly named Florida Woman
St. Augustine police said they arrested Methvin, 40, and her friend, Douglas Nickerson, 41, after getting an anonymous complaint about an unlicensed driver
That seems...odd, doesn't it?
when you wake up as the queen of the n=1 kingdom and mount your steed non sequiturius, do you look out upon all you survey and think “damn, it feels good to be a green idea sleeping furiously?" - dhex

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Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by JD » 25 Jun 2018, 10:56

Not actually Florida Man, but Florida-related: Traffic held up by dueling iguanas in parking lot
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Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by tr0g » 25 Jun 2018, 11:27

JD wrote:
25 Jun 2018, 10:56
Not actually Florida Man, but Florida-related: Traffic held up by dueling iguanas in parking lot
Never seen that, but I was late to grad school once because of a traffic jam caused by a 12 foot gator in the middle of the road who wouldn't move.
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Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by Andrew » 13 Jul 2018, 21:19

We live in the fucked age. Get used to it. - dhex

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Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by Aresen » 13 Jul 2018, 21:30

Andrew wrote:
13 Jul 2018, 21:19
How about Louisiana man?

http://www.azfamily.com/story/38635191/ ... -stairwell
Who was going up and who was going down?
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Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by Kolohe » 14 Jul 2018, 19:39

Andrew wrote:
13 Jul 2018, 21:19
How about Louisiana man?

http://www.azfamily.com/story/38635191/ ... -stairwell
They...don't seem to have any regrets.
when you wake up as the queen of the n=1 kingdom and mount your steed non sequiturius, do you look out upon all you survey and think “damn, it feels good to be a green idea sleeping furiously?" - dhex

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Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by Warren » 15 Jul 2018, 10:38

Kolohe wrote:
14 Jul 2018, 19:39
Andrew wrote:
13 Jul 2018, 21:19
How about Louisiana man?

http://www.azfamily.com/story/38635191/ ... -stairwell
They...don't seem to have any regrets.
An obscenity conviction would be pretty cool if you could afford it. It's the stairwell that gets me. What position could you hump in a stairwell that didn't put you at risk of breaking your spine?
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Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by Aresen » 15 Jul 2018, 10:40

Warren wrote:
15 Jul 2018, 10:38
Kolohe wrote:
14 Jul 2018, 19:39
Andrew wrote:
13 Jul 2018, 21:19
How about Louisiana man?

http://www.azfamily.com/story/38635191/ ... -stairwell
They...don't seem to have any regrets.
An obscenity conviction would be pretty cool if you could afford it. It's the stairwell that gets me. What position could you hump in a stairwell that didn't put you at risk of breaking your spine?
There's always a landing....
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Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by Ellie » 15 Jul 2018, 10:45

Image
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Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by Warren » 15 Jul 2018, 13:32

There was a scene in Weeds where Celia got nostalgic about fucking standing up in roller skates back in her prime.
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Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by Aresen » 11 Sep 2018, 14:30

From Stevo's Facebook:

Image
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Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by Jake » 11 Sep 2018, 14:37

My sixteen-year-old son recently shared a fun little activity with me... every time you read a "Florida man" headline, don't look at the picture, and mentally read them as all being about the same person: "Florida-Man", a would-be superhero with terrible decision-making skills.
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Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by Aresen » 11 Sep 2018, 14:49

Jake wrote:
11 Sep 2018, 14:37
My sixteen-year-old son recently shared a fun little activity with me... every time you read a "Florida man" headline, don't look at the picture, and mentally read them as all being about the same person: "Florida-Man", a would-be superhero with terrible decision-making skills.
Would somebody with a part time residence in Palm Beach qualify as a "Florida Man?"
If Trump supporters wanted a tough guy, why did they elect such a whiny bitch? - Mo

Those who know history are doomed to deja vu. - the innominate one

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Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by JD » 11 Sep 2018, 15:16

Jake wrote:
11 Sep 2018, 14:37
My sixteen-year-old son recently shared a fun little activity with me... every time you read a "Florida man" headline, don't look at the picture, and mentally read them as all being about the same person: "Florida-Man", a would-be superhero with terrible decision-making skills.
He may have gotten the idea from somewhere else...
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Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by Jake » 11 Sep 2018, 18:39

JD wrote:
11 Sep 2018, 15:16
He may have gotten the idea from somewhere else...
Certainly so. He said it was an Internet thing.
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Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by Jasper » 13 Sep 2018, 14:34

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Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by Kwix » 14 Sep 2018, 16:58

Sigh, Niceville. I went to school at the community college there.
It was fun, I could tell everyone that I lived in L.A. and went to U.C.L.A.

That is I lived in Lower Alabama and went to Upper Corner of Lower Alabama.
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Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by Aresen » 26 Oct 2018, 14:35

Why am I not surprised that the Magabomber proved to be a Florida Man?
U.S. authorities took a man into custody Friday in Florida in connection with the mail-bomb scare that has widened to 12 suspicious packages, the FBI and Justice Department said.

The man was identified by law enforcement officials as Cesar Sayoc, 56, of Aventura. He was arrested at an auto-parts store in Plantation just hours after two more suspicious packages were found. Earlier, investigators had homed in on a postal facility in Opa-locka where they believe some of the packages containing home-made bombs originated.
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Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by Painboy » 26 Oct 2018, 14:45

Did any of his bombs work? Or at least might've if they had not been discovered?

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Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

Post by Mo » 26 Oct 2018, 16:18

Painboy wrote:Did any of his bombs work? Or at least might've if they had not been discovered?
I think some were operational, and some were not. Not sure about the first half, but I definitely know some had blasting caps not present.
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