H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man
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H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man
This is simultaneously the most and least Florida thing in the history of Florida.
[photo is screenshot of headline, "Florida Man Breaks into Neighbors' House to Pet Their Cat"]
[photo is screenshot of headline, "Florida Man Breaks into Neighbors' House to Pet Their Cat"]
"The constitution is more of a BDSM agreement with a safe word." - Sandy
"Neoliberalism. Austerity. Booga booga!!!!" - JasonL
"We can't confirm rumors that Lynndie England is in the running to be Gina Haspel's personal aide." - DAR
"Neoliberalism. Austerity. Booga booga!!!!" - JasonL
"We can't confirm rumors that Lynndie England is in the running to be Gina Haspel's personal aide." - DAR
Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man
Too lazy to look for it now, but some of the funniest tweets I saw recently were along the lines of "What would happen if the volcano were in Florida instead of Hawaii? How would Florida Man respond to the warning to not roast marshmallows over lava?"
https://www.sciencealert.com/erm-no-usg ... s-not-safe
https://www.sciencealert.com/erm-no-usg ... s-not-safe
"just build a quantum foam wall and make the tardigrades pay for it."
--Hugh
--Hugh
Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man
Question - is 'sapiens' actually the right word for Florida Man? Shouldn't it be, say, Homo cerritulus floridensis?
when you wake up as the queen of the n=1 kingdom and mount your steed non sequiturius, do you look out upon all you survey and think “damn, it feels good to be a green idea sleeping furiously?" - dhex
Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man
We live in the fucked age. Get used to it. - dhex
The sun only shines when a woman is being sexually abused. - Warren
The sun only shines when a woman is being sexually abused. - Warren
Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man
I'd go with "Pan floridensis", but that might offend the chimps.
If Trump supporters wanted a tough guy, why did they elect such a whiny bitch? - Mo
Those who know history are doomed to deja vu. - the innominate one
Never bring a knife to a joke fight" - dhex
Those who know history are doomed to deja vu. - the innominate one
Never bring a knife to a joke fight" - dhex
Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man
That seems...odd, doesn't it?St. Augustine police said they arrested Methvin, 40, and her friend, Douglas Nickerson, 41, after getting an anonymous complaint about an unlicensed driver
when you wake up as the queen of the n=1 kingdom and mount your steed non sequiturius, do you look out upon all you survey and think “damn, it feels good to be a green idea sleeping furiously?" - dhex
Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man
Not actually Florida Man, but Florida-related: Traffic held up by dueling iguanas in parking lot
"Millennials are lazy. They'd rather have avocado toast than cave in a man's skull with a tire iron!" -FFF
Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man
Never seen that, but I was late to grad school once because of a traffic jam caused by a 12 foot gator in the middle of the road who wouldn't move.JD wrote: ↑25 Jun 2018, 10:56Not actually Florida Man, but Florida-related: Traffic held up by dueling iguanas in parking lot
Yeah but how can you tell at a glance which junk a raccoon is packing? Also, gay raccoons? - Hugh Akston
Nothing you can say is as important as the existence of a functioning marketplace of ideas, go set yourself on fire. - JasonL
Nothing you can say is as important as the existence of a functioning marketplace of ideas, go set yourself on fire. - JasonL
Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man
We live in the fucked age. Get used to it. - dhex
The sun only shines when a woman is being sexually abused. - Warren
The sun only shines when a woman is being sexually abused. - Warren
Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man
Who was going up and who was going down?Andrew wrote: ↑13 Jul 2018, 21:19How about Louisiana man?
http://www.azfamily.com/story/38635191/ ... -stairwell
If Trump supporters wanted a tough guy, why did they elect such a whiny bitch? - Mo
Those who know history are doomed to deja vu. - the innominate one
Never bring a knife to a joke fight" - dhex
Those who know history are doomed to deja vu. - the innominate one
Never bring a knife to a joke fight" - dhex
Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man
They...don't seem to have any regrets.Andrew wrote: ↑13 Jul 2018, 21:19How about Louisiana man?
http://www.azfamily.com/story/38635191/ ... -stairwell
when you wake up as the queen of the n=1 kingdom and mount your steed non sequiturius, do you look out upon all you survey and think “damn, it feels good to be a green idea sleeping furiously?" - dhex
Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man
An obscenity conviction would be pretty cool if you could afford it. It's the stairwell that gets me. What position could you hump in a stairwell that didn't put you at risk of breaking your spine?Kolohe wrote: ↑14 Jul 2018, 19:39They...don't seem to have any regrets.Andrew wrote: ↑13 Jul 2018, 21:19How about Louisiana man?
http://www.azfamily.com/story/38635191/ ... -stairwell
THIS SPACE FOR RENT
Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man
There's always a landing....Warren wrote: ↑15 Jul 2018, 10:38An obscenity conviction would be pretty cool if you could afford it. It's the stairwell that gets me. What position could you hump in a stairwell that didn't put you at risk of breaking your spine?Kolohe wrote: ↑14 Jul 2018, 19:39They...don't seem to have any regrets.Andrew wrote: ↑13 Jul 2018, 21:19How about Louisiana man?
http://www.azfamily.com/story/38635191/ ... -stairwell
If Trump supporters wanted a tough guy, why did they elect such a whiny bitch? - Mo
Those who know history are doomed to deja vu. - the innominate one
Never bring a knife to a joke fight" - dhex
Those who know history are doomed to deja vu. - the innominate one
Never bring a knife to a joke fight" - dhex
Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

"NB stands for nota bene do not @ me" - nicole
Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man
There was a scene in Weeds where Celia got nostalgic about fucking standing up in roller skates back in her prime.
THIS SPACE FOR RENT
Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man
From Stevo's Facebook:


If Trump supporters wanted a tough guy, why did they elect such a whiny bitch? - Mo
Those who know history are doomed to deja vu. - the innominate one
Never bring a knife to a joke fight" - dhex
Those who know history are doomed to deja vu. - the innominate one
Never bring a knife to a joke fight" - dhex
Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man
My sixteen-year-old son recently shared a fun little activity with me... every time you read a "Florida man" headline, don't look at the picture, and mentally read them as all being about the same person: "Florida-Man", a would-be superhero with terrible decision-making skills.
"Facebook is like a locker room with all the players screaming at each other how much they have to win and then forgetting they have to take the field and actually play the gawddamn game." -- D.A. Ridgely
Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man
Would somebody with a part time residence in Palm Beach qualify as a "Florida Man?"Jake wrote: ↑11 Sep 2018, 14:37My sixteen-year-old son recently shared a fun little activity with me... every time you read a "Florida man" headline, don't look at the picture, and mentally read them as all being about the same person: "Florida-Man", a would-be superhero with terrible decision-making skills.
If Trump supporters wanted a tough guy, why did they elect such a whiny bitch? - Mo
Those who know history are doomed to deja vu. - the innominate one
Never bring a knife to a joke fight" - dhex
Those who know history are doomed to deja vu. - the innominate one
Never bring a knife to a joke fight" - dhex
Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man
He may have gotten the idea from somewhere else...Jake wrote: ↑11 Sep 2018, 14:37My sixteen-year-old son recently shared a fun little activity with me... every time you read a "Florida man" headline, don't look at the picture, and mentally read them as all being about the same person: "Florida-Man", a would-be superhero with terrible decision-making skills.
"Millennials are lazy. They'd rather have avocado toast than cave in a man's skull with a tire iron!" -FFF
Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man
Certainly so. He said it was an Internet thing.
"Facebook is like a locker room with all the players screaming at each other how much they have to win and then forgetting they have to take the field and actually play the gawddamn game." -- D.A. Ridgely
Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man
"i'd like to move toward not combusting except on special occasions like arbor day." - dhex
Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man
Sigh, Niceville. I went to school at the community college there.Jasper wrote: ↑13 Sep 2018, 14:34Naked Florida man baking cookies on George Foreman grill responsible for fire
It was fun, I could tell everyone that I lived in L.A. and went to U.C.L.A.
That is I lived in Lower Alabama and went to Upper Corner of Lower Alabama.
"pedialyte is like planned parenthood for hangovers. it costs you a bit, but it makes your little problem go away until the next time you drink too much."-- dhex
"Sweet tea is the archvillain in Wilford Brimley's origin story." -- Ellie
"Sweet tea is the archvillain in Wilford Brimley's origin story." -- Ellie
Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man
Why am I not surprised that the Magabomber proved to be a Florida Man?
U.S. authorities took a man into custody Friday in Florida in connection with the mail-bomb scare that has widened to 12 suspicious packages, the FBI and Justice Department said.
The man was identified by law enforcement officials as Cesar Sayoc, 56, of Aventura. He was arrested at an auto-parts store in Plantation just hours after two more suspicious packages were found. Earlier, investigators had homed in on a postal facility in Opa-locka where they believe some of the packages containing home-made bombs originated.
If Trump supporters wanted a tough guy, why did they elect such a whiny bitch? - Mo
Those who know history are doomed to deja vu. - the innominate one
Never bring a knife to a joke fight" - dhex
Those who know history are doomed to deja vu. - the innominate one
Never bring a knife to a joke fight" - dhex
Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man
Did any of his bombs work? Or at least might've if they had not been discovered?
Re: H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man
I think some were operational, and some were not. Not sure about the first half, but I definitely know some had blasting caps not present.Painboy wrote:Did any of his bombs work? Or at least might've if they had not been discovered?
his voice is so soothing, but why do conspiracy nuts always sound like Batman and Robin solving one of Riddler's puzzles out loud? - fod
no one ever yells worldstar when a pet gets fucked up - dhex
no one ever yells worldstar when a pet gets fucked up - dhex
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