H. sapiens floridensis - A thread for Florida Man

[lunchstealer]

This is simultaneously the most and least Florida thing in the history of Florida.

FloridaManBreaksInToPetKitty.jpg (66.59 KiB) Viewed 944 times

[photo is screenshot of headline, "Florida Man Breaks into Neighbors' House to Pet Their Cat"]

[thoreau]

Too lazy to look for it now, but some of the funniest tweets I saw recently were along the lines of "What would happen if the volcano were in Florida instead of Hawaii? How would Florida Man respond to the warning to not roast marshmallows over lava?"

https://www.sciencealert.com/erm-no-usg ... s-not-safe

[Kolohe]

Question - is 'sapiens' actually the right word for Florida Man? Shouldn't it be, say, Homo cerritulus floridensis?

[Andrew]

A very aptly named Florida Woman

[Aresen]

Question - is 'sapiens' actually the right word for Florida Man? Shouldn't it be, say, Homo cerritulus floridensis?

I'd go with "Pan floridensis", but that might offend the chimps.

[Kolohe]

A very aptly named Florida Woman

St. Augustine police said they arrested Methvin, 40, and her friend, Douglas Nickerson, 41, after getting an anonymous complaint about an unlicensed driver

That seems...odd, doesn't it?

[JD]

Not actually Florida Man, but Florida-related: Traffic held up by dueling iguanas in parking lot

[tr0g]

Not actually Florida Man, but Florida-related: Traffic held up by dueling iguanas in parking lot

Never seen that, but I was late to grad school once because of a traffic jam caused by a 12 foot gator in the middle of the road who wouldn't move.

[Andrew]

How about Louisiana man?

http://www.azfamily.com/story/38635191/ ... -stairwell

[Aresen]

How about Louisiana man?

http://www.azfamily.com/story/38635191/ ... -stairwell

Who was going up and who was going down?

[Kolohe]

How about Louisiana man?

http://www.azfamily.com/story/38635191/ ... -stairwell

They...don't seem to have any regrets.

[Warren]

How about Louisiana man?

http://www.azfamily.com/story/38635191/ ... -stairwell

They...don't seem to have any regrets.

An obscenity conviction would be pretty cool if you could afford it. It's the stairwell that gets me. What position could you hump in a stairwell that didn't put you at risk of breaking your spine?

[Aresen]

How about Louisiana man?

http://www.azfamily.com/story/38635191/ ... -stairwell

They...don't seem to have any regrets.

An obscenity conviction would be pretty cool if you could afford it. It's the stairwell that gets me. What position could you hump in a stairwell that didn't put you at risk of breaking your spine?

There's always a landing....

[Ellie]

[Warren]

There was a scene in Weeds where Celia got nostalgic about fucking standing up in roller skates back in her prime.

[Aresen]

From Stevo's Facebook:

[Jake]

My sixteen-year-old son recently shared a fun little activity with me... every time you read a "Florida man" headline, don't look at the picture, and mentally read them as all being about the same person: "Florida-Man", a would-be superhero with terrible decision-making skills.

[Aresen]

My sixteen-year-old son recently shared a fun little activity with me... every time you read a "Florida man" headline, don't look at the picture, and mentally read them as all being about the same person: "Florida-Man", a would-be superhero with terrible decision-making skills.

Would somebody with a part time residence in Palm Beach qualify as a "Florida Man?"

[JD]

My sixteen-year-old son recently shared a fun little activity with me... every time you read a "Florida man" headline, don't look at the picture, and mentally read them as all being about the same person: "Florida-Man", a would-be superhero with terrible decision-making skills.

He may have gotten the idea from somewhere else...

[Jake]

He may have gotten the idea from somewhere else...

Certainly so. He said it was an Internet thing.

[Jasper]

Naked Florida man baking cookies on George Foreman grill responsible for fire

[Kwix]

Naked Florida man baking cookies on George Foreman grill responsible for fire

Sigh, Niceville. I went to school at the community college there.
It was fun, I could tell everyone that I lived in L.A. and went to U.C.L.A.

That is I lived in Lower Alabama and went to Upper Corner of Lower Alabama.

[Aresen]

Why am I not surprised that the Magabomber proved to be a Florida Man?

U.S. authorities took a man into custody Friday in Florida in connection with the mail-bomb scare that has widened to 12 suspicious packages, the FBI and Justice Department said.

The man was identified by law enforcement officials as Cesar Sayoc, 56, of Aventura. He was arrested at an auto-parts store in Plantation just hours after two more suspicious packages were found. Earlier, investigators had homed in on a postal facility in Opa-locka where they believe some of the packages containing home-made bombs originated.

[Painboy]

Did any of his bombs work? Or at least might've if they had not been discovered?

[Mo]

Did any of his bombs work? Or at least might've if they had not been discovered?

I think some were operational, and some were not. Not sure about the first half, but I definitely know some had blasting caps not present.