Ladyfashun

[Ellie]

Yeah, the lack of greasiness is baffling. Before bleaching I had very greasy hair. (I'm trying to remind myself of that -- I didn't go from great hair to dry hair, but from one annoying hair texture to another.)

My hair is actually pretty dark brown, and turned out to be pigmented enough that the first bleaching turned it orange. So about half my hair has been bleached twice, a year and a half ago. The rest has been bleached once, a little bit at a time, via monthly root touch-ups. Haven't done anything but condition, moisturize, and protein treatments since.

The only thing I can think of is that it's gotten so dried out it won't even hold onto scalp grease or moisturizer. And that's all, I don't know, rubbing off on my pillowcase at night or evaporating into chmetrails or something.

Hair is dumb.

[Jennifer]

The only thing I can think of is that it's gotten so dried out it won't even hold onto scalp grease or moisturizer. And that's all, I don't know, rubbing off on my pillowcase at night or evaporating into chmetrails or something.

Well, hair is dead tissue -- that's why it doesn't hurt when you cut it. So if a given lock of hair is sufficiently damaged, it cannot heal itself no matter how much moisturizing gunk you apply; all you can do is wait for new healthy hair to grow out and replace the old damaged stuff. But even so -- given how short your hair is, and thus how close all of your hair is to the grease-and-oil-producing follicles and scalp -- it is baffling indeed that your problem is dryness rather than the opposite.

Though, now that I think about it -- remember when I said that when I first kicked the shampoo habit, and was still going through the hair equivalent of drug withdrawal symptoms while waiting for my oil levels to go back to pre-shampoo normal, I went through a phase where the roots were greasy but the rest of the hair was a dry frizzball? Had I not personally experienced this myself, I'd've sworn it had to be impossible: no, your hair cannot be too greasy and too dry at the same time! But mine was; presumably, it is possible for excessive hair oil/grease to somehow manifest itself as dry frizz.

In light of this: if I had to guess, I'd say maybe that's your problem (possibly exacerbated by bleaching): the combination of not washing your hair frequently enough (with either "just water," or "water plus a light conditioner, used as a detangler and rinsed out immediately"), combined with making matters worse by periodic applications of a super-moisturizing leave-in conditioning treatment. (Those super-moisturizing products are designed for people who do use shampoo frequently, thus stripping their hair and scalp of its natural oils, and are very bad indeed for people with "normal," not-stripped-by-shampoo oil levels.)

So perhaps you should try washing it regularly, at least two or three times per week, with water plus the lightest conditioner you can find (I just use the cheap Suave stuff), and ditch the intense leave-in treatments. Even though this does sound counter-intuitive: "If my hair's too dry, you're saying I should wash it more and moisturize it less?!" But, yeah -- I daresay you should give it a try.

[Ellie]

I will do that and report back!

[Jennifer]

I will do that and report back!

Good luck! One important thing I forgot to mention -- though it might be implied, by my mention of using light conditioner as a "detangler" -- while you're washing your hair, after the actual "use your fingers plus water to wash out the dirt" part, you need to comb it while you're still in the shower. (When I wash my hair, "combing it out" is the final step, before I turn off the water, get out of the shower and towel off.) In my case, given my hair's natural curl/waviness, the wet-combing is necessary to avoid massive snarls when it's dry, though as I think about it, the act of combing that wet hair might also help with the "remove the dirt and gunk" process of cleaning. That's why I use a very light conditioner/detangler (although after moving to Sweatbox Atlanta, where I need to bathe and wash my hair far more frequently than I did in cooler drier climes, I notice that sometimes, I can even forgo conditioner; water alone gets my hair clean, with a comb. But I will not go so far as to completely ditch the conditioner, and use only warm/hot water plus a comb to keep my hair clean; I still need conditioner sometimes.) Use a wide-tooth comb, not a fine-tooth.

Basically: if you can't painlessly run a wide-tooth comb through your sopping wet, snarl-free hair, you have not yet completed the process of washing it. And remember: LIGHT conditioner. Nothing that brags about being "moisturizing" or "for dry hair" or anything like that.

[Ellie]

The regular washing has not improved the actual texture of my hair, but it's making it easier to comb and manage overall. So thanks!


Unrelated: I have to go bra shopping soon. I've lost some more weight recently and apparently I lost 100% of it from my boobs.

[nicole]

I'm not a complete nonwasher of hair, and you probably already know this and are doing it, but just in case, the thing that made all the difference for me was when someone told me that you are still supposed to "wash" your hair, you're just doing it with water instead of of shampoo. So like, you still want to get in there and scratch your scalp, get lots of friction going at the roots to get the oil away from your scalp.

Also for conditioners you might want to try something sulfate-free. I don't use "fancy" conditioner but I do use a semi expensive drugstore brand to get the sulfate-free, which I find is way more effectively moisturizing. But sulfate-free has become such a thing at this point that there are lots of reasonable options.

[Ellie]

ThredUP is terrrrrrible.

So I can now confirm this firsthand. As with all things, I should have just listened to Rachel.

I was looking for a particular kind of pants on their site, and the only ones that came up were in size 2, so I browsed those just to see what the description was, even though I'm nowhere close to a size 2. But ThredUP has gotten the wrong idea, and they are now spamming me with daily emails. "See what we picked just for you!" [collection of links to XS shirts and size 2 pants] Guys, no. Stahp.

[Rachel]

ThredUP is terrrrrrible.

So I can now confirm this firsthand. As with all things, I should have just listened to Rachel.

I was looking for a particular kind of pants on their site, and the only ones that came up were in size 2, so I browsed those just to see what the description was, even though I'm nowhere close to a size 2. But ThredUP has gotten the wrong idea, and they are now spamming me with daily emails. "See what we picked just for you!" [collection of links to XS shirts and size 2 pants] Guys, no. Stahp.

Try Poshmark.

[Jennifer]

There is a certain local-ish thrift store which is my favorite by far; the upstairs (ground floor) tends to set clothing prices far higher than ordinary thrift store standards, but anything unsold after awhile goes into the basement, where everything is $2 per garment. (The $2 room is where I got a lot of my silk and linen shirts earlier this summer, after realizing I need to phase out all cotton garments until the weather gets cooler and drier. Also where I got several pairs of like-new jeans last winter or spring.) As of Saturday morning, I had a pretty good-sized collection of silk or linen shirts, but most of them were only good enough to wear around the house or running errands, not good enough for actual professional wear because they were either too big, or the wrong color for my complexion, or something similar.

Jeff and I went to that store last Saturday and discovered they were having -- either a temporary sale or a new price regime, I dunno which -- on Saturday, every clothing item in the basement was only 69 cents! [Cue Beavis and Butthead: "Sixty-nine! Huh huh huh huh huh huh."]

And I made some amazing scores -- a couple more too-large long-sleeved silk or linen shirts to serve as "overshirts" for wearing around the neighborhood, but also a professionally appropriate linen blouse that fits me as perfectly as though it were custom-made, and in a decent-for-me color too! (The tag says "Perry Ellis," which I think is a rather pricey brand.) And a short-sleeved professionally appropriate blouse that looks and feels like linen, but the tag says it's actually silk. Also got two pairs of professionally-appropriate pants, one of which is a silk-and-linen blend. Seven very nice garments, five of which are perfect fits and decent-for-me colors, for a pretax total of less than five bucks!

I also, finally, found a fairly decent work-appropriate linen blazer at a nearby Goodwill, but that cost me a relatively expensive six dollars. And I'll need to have it dry-cleaned before I wear it. (I already found one silk-and-linen blazer a few weeks ago, but that is a very bright shade of blue that'll only go with a couple other garments I own. This new blazer is a darker shade of blue-black which'll complement far more of the wardrobe pieces I already have.)

[Jennifer]

Huh -- a quick Google search seems to suggest that Perry Ellis "only" makes men's clothes, but that linen blouse I bought was definitely made for women, based on the location of the buttons and the way the waist comes in a little. Odd.

[Ellie]

1. I have nowhere to wear this dress.
2. I would never willingly pay this much for a dress.
3. I don't buy dry clean only clothes.
4. My post-baby boobs are too sad and floppy for a bodice like this.
5. ThredUP sucks and I shouldn't shop there.
6. I can't even tell if it's my size because it's fancy EU sizing.

And yet ... I am really sad this isn't in my closet. https://www.thredup.com/product/x-celin ... s/30710422

[Ellie]

Unrelated but I found the solution to my hair woes: Keratin Weightless Hair Oil. This stuff is the fucking market. Inexpensive and not greasy. I wash with shampoo every 2-4 weeks, and otherwise just water rinse and spray this on before combing.

[Ellie]

I don't understand this high-low shirt trend. It just looks like someone cut out the pattern wrong and then sewed it together anyway.

[Warren]

It looks like a garment peculiar to some religious sect, like prayer shawls, broadfall trousers, or magic underwear.

[nicole]

I'll tell you what I don't understand slash hate is the drop shoulder trend.

[Highway]

The high-low is effective at covering plumber's butt, tho. Especially if you are gonna wear low-waisted jeans.

[Jennifer]

Looks like the shirt equivalent of a mullet.

[Warren]

The high-low is effective at covering plumber's butt the tramp stamp, tho. Especially if you are gonna wear low-waisted jeans.

Better.

Actually the sleeves past the wrists thing is what drives me nuts. One of those "why?" fashion trends.

[nicole]

The high-low is effective at covering plumber's butt, tho. Especially if you are gonna wear low-waisted jeans.

But it's high-waisted jeans that are in!

[Rachel]

I'll tell you what I don't understand slash hate is the drop shoulder trend.

Is that the same as the cold shoulder trend that's been around the last year or so?

[nicole]

I'll tell you what I don't understand slash hate is the drop shoulder trend.

Is that the same as the cold shoulder trend that's been around the last year or so?

No, like the sweater Ellie showed where the sleeve starts a bit down the arm because the shoulder is wider than your shoulders.

[Warren]

I'll tell you what I don't understand slash hate is the drop shoulder trend.

Is that the same as the cold shoulder trend that's been around the last year or so?

No, like the sweater Ellie showed where the sleeve starts a bit down the arm because the shoulder is wider than your shoulders.

This one isn't that bad. Indeed it could be that the model is just too waifish.

[nicole]

I'll tell you what I don't understand slash hate is the drop shoulder trend.

Is that the same as the cold shoulder trend that's been around the last year or so?

No, like the sweater Ellie showed where the sleeve starts a bit down the arm because the shoulder is wider than your shoulders.

This one isn't that bad. Indeed it could be that the model is just too waifish.

It’s not that extreme but it’s definitely a drop shoulder. You can tell because there is no armhole shaping.

[Ellie]

Or there's this one, where the armhole starts practically at the elbow.

[nicole]

Yep. I’m seeing a ton of it in knitting patterns. Do not want.