the list of those things which are not food

Music, books, movies, TV, games, hobbies, food, and potent potables. And forum games! Pour a drink, put on your smoking jacket, light a pipe (of whatever), and settle in.
Post Reply
User avatar
dhex
Posts: 14514
Joined: 05 May 2010, 16:05
Location: 'murica

the list of those things which are not food

Post by dhex » 19 Aug 2013, 08:26

obviously applebee's, but i recently made the acquaintance of buffalo wild wings (coming back from my first trip to a super walmart no less) and it is ASTOUNDINGLY astounding how far off the mark from bar food a place can get and still stay in business. it's not even close. the beer selection seemed alright but i did not have any.

also their "ultra hot lava wings" or whatever were barely a 7. the way they carried on you'd think they were literally on fire.
"The sort of passion for the Constitution that in a juster world would require him to introduce himself to all his new neighbors every time he moved." - eric b sans rakim

User avatar
Warren
Posts: 21840
Joined: 26 Apr 2010, 17:03
Location: Goat Rope MO
Contact:

Re: the list of those things which are not food

Post by Warren » 19 Aug 2013, 08:42

You have insulted our most loving and generous overlord. and also pham

BW3, much like Hooters, isn't about the food, though I rate BW3 far above Hooters. If their hottest sauce barely rates a 7 for you, it's because you've burned out your capsaicin sensors. I'm not opposed to mixing masochism and food. Just know that's what you're doing.
THIS SPACE FOR RENT

User avatar
dhex
Posts: 14514
Joined: 05 May 2010, 16:05
Location: 'murica

Re: the list of those things which are not food

Post by dhex » 19 Aug 2013, 08:48

bw2's staff seemed to feel it necessary to warn me several times that their hottest wings were "like, really hot". i said it was ok. i did not play the "i rub habaneros on my urethra in the morning just to feel something in this cold dead world of sin" card or anything.

edit: i presume it's not about the shitty food but decent beer selection and several sports screens, plus the tgi friday's style decor. which is fine, but that's why this is a food thread and not "a list of things which are not competently executed theme restaurants"
"The sort of passion for the Constitution that in a juster world would require him to introduce himself to all his new neighbors every time he moved." - eric b sans rakim

User avatar
Fin Fang Foom
Posts: 8923
Joined: 05 May 2010, 22:39

Re: the list of those things which are not food

Post by Fin Fang Foom » 19 Aug 2013, 08:56

dhex wrote:bw2's staff seemed to feel it necessary to warn me several times that their hottest wings were "like, really hot". i said it was ok. i did not play the "i rub habaneros on my urethra in the morning just to feel something in this cold dead world of sin" card or anything.

edit: i presume it's not about the shitty food but decent beer selection and several sports screens, plus the tgi friday's style decor. which is fine, but that's why this is a food thread and not "a list of things which are not competently executed theme restaurants"
You're in trouble then, since BW3 is about the best wings you get in 90% of the country.
Saudi Arabia is doing something potentially harmful to America? Oh, hell. Does that mean we're going to invade Iraq again? - Jennifer

User avatar
Highway
Posts: 12160
Joined: 12 May 2011, 00:22
Location: the Electric Ocean

Re: the list of those things which are not food

Post by Highway » 19 Aug 2013, 09:04

BW3 is terrible. Their whole range of 'food' is just atrocious. And this is coming from a guy who will go to Applebee's, who will defend Pizza Hut, who is not afraid of the mass market chain food most people here dislike. But "Buffalo Average Wings" can't even clear the bar I set. Everything is overcooked, dessicated, and takes too long.

If you're going somewhere to watch a football game and there's a lot of people there watching the same game, it can be fun (cause you don't care about how bad the food is). But otherwise, the only reason to go there is... I can't think of one. No other sport gets the same kind of crowd, and their video trivia isn't worth the hardship.

We constantly complain about the lack of places for lunch around here, and will go to plenty of places that we don't really like just because they're different. But we never go to the (very convenient) BW3.
"Sharks do not go around challenging people to games of chance like dojo breakers."

User avatar
Fin Fang Foom
Posts: 8923
Joined: 05 May 2010, 22:39

Re: the list of those things which are not food

Post by Fin Fang Foom » 19 Aug 2013, 09:06

Maybe the BW3 in Charlottesville was of an abnormally high quality. It wasn't great, but it was good enough. Of course, that was six plus years ago.
Saudi Arabia is doing something potentially harmful to America? Oh, hell. Does that mean we're going to invade Iraq again? - Jennifer

User avatar
JasonL
Posts: 20995
Joined: 05 May 2010, 17:22

Re: the list of those things which are not food

Post by JasonL » 19 Aug 2013, 09:14

I have this thing at BW3s where ... they don't bring me my food. I don't understand. In 3 different locations over the span of 2-3 years they simply never brought the food I ordered. On several other occasions I've had chicken wings take an hour to arrive. I'm not sure I can weigh in on whether BW3 is food because its all hypotheticals ...

Hooters Daytona style >>>> anything BW3 has on the menu. Also the buffalo shrimp done similarly. The sauce is spiked with exploitation and tears. I agree that neither is food per se, but one can invoke the fried chicken can never been too shitty to eat rule as a retort.

User avatar
Mo
Posts: 21090
Joined: 26 Apr 2010, 17:08

Re: the list of those things which are not food

Post by Mo » 19 Aug 2013, 09:50

I like BW3. However, I will note that despite knowing and liking the bar staff and management there I only go there for 17 Sundays (and a handful of Thursdays a year). So revealed preferences and all that.
his voice is so soothing, but why do conspiracy nuts always sound like Batman and Robin solving one of Riddler's puzzles out loud? - fod

no one ever yells worldstar when a pet gets fucked up - dhex

User avatar
Dangerman
Posts: 5564
Joined: 07 May 2010, 12:26
Location: Happy Katanakaa Everyone!

Re: the list of those things which are not food

Post by Dangerman » 19 Aug 2013, 10:43

Why is it BW3? Aren't there only 2? Maybe you guys are confusing it with Beasts With Wide Wings, the restaurant that serves albatross and Pegasus.

I've never been to either BW2 or Hooters, but I think that going to BW2 for wings seems like going to Fenway for the beer and franks.

Mall food is not food. We just got a Qdoba burritery, and it's terribad. Imagine if pizza cooks just poured a can of sauce on a lump of dough, and piled cheese onto it. That's their burrito technique. I'm embarrassed to even admit to eating a burrito that I didn't microwave. The whole concept is so contrived and awful from the start that eating a nuked bean 'n beef at 3am is actually the only proper treatment of it.
"It's a proven fact that spicy mustard is good for your health no matter what your medical condition, which is why the feds are suing Guildens for a backdoor into their condiment technology." - TIO

User avatar
Highway
Posts: 12160
Joined: 12 May 2011, 00:22
Location: the Electric Ocean

Re: the list of those things which are not food

Post by Highway » 19 Aug 2013, 10:46

Dangerman wrote:Why is it BW3? Aren't there only 2? Maybe you guys are confusing it with Beasts With Wide Wings, the restaurant that serves albatross and Pegasus.
It was originally "Buffalo Wild Wings and Weck" a type of roll they sold sandwiches on.

I like Qdoba, and wonder what kind of bastardized one they put in your mall. It's almost exactly the same as Chipotle here (of course, you might not like Chipotle either).
"Sharks do not go around challenging people to games of chance like dojo breakers."

User avatar
JasonL
Posts: 20995
Joined: 05 May 2010, 17:22

Re: the list of those things which are not food

Post by JasonL » 19 Aug 2013, 10:46

The 3rd W is Weck, as in the type of german roll. Wild Wings and Weck. Again, all 3 hypotheticals. I think I only saw a food in blurry footage when I was there.

User avatar
lunchstealer
Posts: 14580
Joined: 26 Apr 2010, 17:25
Location: The Local Fluff in the Local Bubble

Re: the list of those things which are not food

Post by lunchstealer » 19 Aug 2013, 11:07

I am notoriously of the 'eat your food and just don't order it again, or if it's really bad, don't return' philosophy. I've returned maybe three things to the kitchen ever. One of those was a burger at a Buffalo Wild Wings, because holy shit it was awful. I've only had burgers that bad - aside from school cafeteria settings, which doesn't count - two other times. Once at an airport Chili's that may not have had its own kitchen*, and one batch of bargain-basement frozen-pre-made patties from Walmart. In all cases, the burgers had this very strange way-too-fine texture and injection-molded look (no real burger should have well defined edges between the side and the face) and a very odd, almost gamey taste that was just NOT what you want from a burger.

How does a bar get that lax on a burger? If you don't want to keep decent burger fixins around, don't put burgers on your menu.

*It was actually a "Chili's Too" and had a limited menu, and I think they had orders carried over from another Chili's in a different part of the airport, or something like that.
"The constitution is more of a BDSM agreement with a safe word." - Sandy

"Neoliberalism. Austerity. Booga booga!!!!" - JasonL

"Repeated headdesk is dangerous yo." - JasonL

User avatar
JasonL
Posts: 20995
Joined: 05 May 2010, 17:22

Re: the list of those things which are not food

Post by JasonL » 19 Aug 2013, 11:14

Chilis is not food in that it is basically Applebees. Airport Chilis and in particular the Chilis in JFK is something worse than not food. All three of my wife, dad, and I got sick from that place on the way to Hungary, and I think the tab was something like $30 per head because we got drinks with no alcohol in them. Eff that place a lot.

User avatar
Warren
Posts: 21840
Joined: 26 Apr 2010, 17:03
Location: Goat Rope MO
Contact:

Re: the list of those things which are not food

Post by Warren » 19 Aug 2013, 11:15

I too am reluctant to send food back. Even so, I sent a steak back once that was so salty I deemed it inedible. For most people, you simply can not put too much salt, starch, fat, or sugar in their food, so I understand why restaurants make it that way, but there are limits.

ETA
JasonL wrote:Chilis is not food in that it is basically Applebees. Airport Chilis and in particular the Chilis in JFK is something worse than not food. All three of my wife, dad, and I got sick from that place on the way to Hungary, and I think the tab was something like $30 per head because we got drinks with no alcohol in them. Eff that place a lot.
Chilis is way above Applebees. Or at least it was five or six years ago when I last went to one. I'd point the finger at NYC over Chillis on that one.
THIS SPACE FOR RENT

User avatar
JasonL
Posts: 20995
Joined: 05 May 2010, 17:22

Re: the list of those things which are not food

Post by JasonL » 19 Aug 2013, 11:19

There is a price point where you'd better believe I'm sending it back. I've had a steak at a $50 for hunk of meat only sort of steak house come back overdone. Uh. No. That's going back.

If I'm at a $10-$15 sort of place, I'll suck it up and blame myself for choosing a bad restaurant so long as it isn't fatally flawed like raw chicken or frozen parts or something.

User avatar
Dangerman
Posts: 5564
Joined: 07 May 2010, 12:26
Location: Happy Katanakaa Everyone!

Re: the list of those things which are not food

Post by Dangerman » 19 Aug 2013, 11:24

Highway wrote:
Dangerman wrote:Why is it BW3? Aren't there only 2? Maybe you guys are confusing it with Beasts With Wide Wings, the restaurant that serves albatross and Pegasus.
It was originally "Buffalo Wild Wings and Weck" a type of roll they sold sandwiches on.

I like Qdoba, and wonder what kind of bastardized one they put in your mall. It's almost exactly the same as Chipotle here (of course, you might not like Chipotle either).
It is exactly like Chipotle, without the weird smoke flavor they inject into their staff to make the restaurant smell like that.

I even told the girl making my food to please not glom all the steak into a pile, and again about the salsa, and fucking again about the guac. Have these people never eaten the food they are making? Chipotle suffers from the same: they make the food in front of you, but you get eyerolled if you ask them to not make it gross. I might ask to speak to a manager next time and ask some hard questions because that bridge is soaked in gasoline and dusted with thermite anyway at this point.
"It's a proven fact that spicy mustard is good for your health no matter what your medical condition, which is why the feds are suing Guildens for a backdoor into their condiment technology." - TIO

User avatar
Highway
Posts: 12160
Joined: 12 May 2011, 00:22
Location: the Electric Ocean

Re: the list of those things which are not food

Post by Highway » 19 Aug 2013, 11:25

Yeah, I'll put Chili's way above Applebee's as well.

I never get a steak at a 10 dollar steak sort of place that's not a chain steakhouse (Longhorn, Outback). I generally try to stick to what the restaurant is known for, because that's why I went there. I'm never with a group that goes somewhere "because it's got a lot of variety to suit lots of people".
"Sharks do not go around challenging people to games of chance like dojo breakers."

User avatar
Highway
Posts: 12160
Joined: 12 May 2011, 00:22
Location: the Electric Ocean

Re: the list of those things which are not food

Post by Highway » 19 Aug 2013, 11:27

Dangerman wrote:
Highway wrote:
Dangerman wrote:Why is it BW3? Aren't there only 2? Maybe you guys are confusing it with Beasts With Wide Wings, the restaurant that serves albatross and Pegasus.
It was originally "Buffalo Wild Wings and Weck" a type of roll they sold sandwiches on.

I like Qdoba, and wonder what kind of bastardized one they put in your mall. It's almost exactly the same as Chipotle here (of course, you might not like Chipotle either).
It is exactly like Chipotle, without the weird smoke flavor they inject into their staff to make the restaurant smell like that.

I even told the girl making my food to please not glom all the steak into a pile, and again about the salsa, and fucking again about the guac. Have these people never eaten the food they are making? Chipotle suffers from the same: they make the food in front of you, but you get eyerolled if you ask them to not make it gross. I might ask to speak to a manager next time and ask some hard questions because that bridge is soaked in gasoline and dusted with thermite anyway at this point.
Ah, I don't mind the thrown together aspect of them, but I also haven't gotten the burrito version of either in a few years, since our first weight loss contest at work, when I realized that the Qdoba tortilla adds 50% again of the calories and carbs to the stuff inside. So I get them in a bowl and then stir it up.
"Sharks do not go around challenging people to games of chance like dojo breakers."

User avatar
JasonL
Posts: 20995
Joined: 05 May 2010, 17:22

Re: the list of those things which are not food

Post by JasonL » 19 Aug 2013, 11:28

I will confess the singular experience of JFK Chilis that had 3 people on a 10 hour flight suffering through abnormal ... gastro-intestinal situations may have so permanently damaged the association I can't go back. And the price tag was a kick in the nards.

ETA: Oh I forgot the wife was in goat rope somewhere and ate at a chilis again a few months ago and got sick again. That may also be coloring it. N = small number but dramatic results.
Last edited by JasonL on 19 Aug 2013, 11:35, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
Mo
Posts: 21090
Joined: 26 Apr 2010, 17:08

Re: the list of those things which are not food

Post by Mo » 19 Aug 2013, 11:32

JasonL wrote:There is a price point where you'd better believe I'm sending it back. I've had a steak at a $50 for hunk of meat only sort of steak house come back overdone. Uh. No. That's going back.

If I'm at a $10-$15 sort of place, I'll suck it up and blame myself for choosing a bad restaurant so long as it isn't fatally flawed like raw chicken or frozen parts or something.
This.

If I'm at Chez Fancy Pants and they fuck up my dish, it's going back.
his voice is so soothing, but why do conspiracy nuts always sound like Batman and Robin solving one of Riddler's puzzles out loud? - fod

no one ever yells worldstar when a pet gets fucked up - dhex

User avatar
JasonL
Posts: 20995
Joined: 05 May 2010, 17:22

Re: the list of those things which are not food

Post by JasonL » 19 Aug 2013, 11:32

I have a lot of love for Chipotle. Bowl only, carnitas, corn and tomatoes, no rice, beans if I'm into it that day, dab of sour cream and done.

I feel like Qdoba has declined to sub Chipotle on average. They used to have sauce options that made up for the lower quality of chicken or pork I felt, but they systematically went through and purged their menu of the sauce options I liked. Both are okay. I like the price point.

User avatar
D.A. Ridgely
Posts: 17462
Joined: 26 Apr 2010, 17:09
Location: The Other Side

Re: the list of those things which are not food

Post by D.A. Ridgely » 19 Aug 2013, 11:35

The underlying point here about BW2 is that wings per se are not food. It was a genius who first thought "Hey, if I slather some BBQ sauce over all these pieces of chicken offal I've been grinding up into cat food, maybe I can get drunken sports bar customers to buy them." And the rest was retailing history. I only wish I'd thought of it.

User avatar
Andrew
Posts: 5534
Joined: 26 Apr 2010, 21:52
Location: Vale of Eternal Fire

Re: the list of those things which are not food

Post by Andrew » 19 Aug 2013, 11:43

JasonL wrote:I have a lot of love for Chipotle. Bowl only, carnitas, corn and tomatoes, no rice, beans if I'm into it that day, dab of sour cream and done.
Given the week-long GI tract problems I've had after eating Chipotle, I place it in the "not food" category.
We live in the fucked age. Get used to it. - dhex

holy shit there will never be an end until the sweet release of death (as dictated by the death panels, natch) - lunch

User avatar
JasonL
Posts: 20995
Joined: 05 May 2010, 17:22

Re: the list of those things which are not food

Post by JasonL » 19 Aug 2013, 11:46

D.A. Ridgely wrote:The underlying point here about BW2 is that wings per se are not food. It was a genius who first thought "Hey, if I slather some BBQ sauce over all these pieces of chicken offal I've been grinding up into cat food, maybe I can get drunken sports bar customers to buy them." And the rest was retailing history. I only wish I'd thought of it.
Phase 2 was selling the feet to the chinese. Tyson is turning more profit feet than maybe any other part and they were throwing them away 10 years ago.

But - you are wrong for fried chicken corollary reasons. It doesn't matter what the shape is fried chicken parts are always at least okay. I may have a problem ...

User avatar
Dangerman
Posts: 5564
Joined: 07 May 2010, 12:26
Location: Happy Katanakaa Everyone!

Re: the list of those things which are not food

Post by Dangerman » 19 Aug 2013, 12:07

Ha, I listened to that episode as well. Chicken paws. Yeah.
"It's a proven fact that spicy mustard is good for your health no matter what your medical condition, which is why the feds are suing Guildens for a backdoor into their condiment technology." - TIO

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests