Heroes and zeroes of the animal kingdom

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Jake
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Re: Heroes and zeroes of the animal kingdom

Post by Jake » 29 Nov 2018, 02:17

Hugh Akston wrote:
29 Nov 2018, 02:04
Image
This is me in every group picture.
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Andrew
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Re: Heroes and zeroes of the animal kingdom

Post by Andrew » 29 Nov 2018, 07:47

Hugh Akston wrote:
29 Nov 2018, 02:04
Knickers the cow

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To put it into perspective, the seven-year-old is almost as tall as NBA star Michael Jordan and weighs more than a Mini Cooper car at about 1,400 kilograms.

That's double the weight of the average Holstein Friesian and half a metre taller — and could make more than 4,000 hamburger lovers happy.

But owner Geoff Pearson of Lake Preston in the state's south-west said Knickers was not destined for the barbecue anytime soon.

"He was too big to go into the export plant's chain," Mr Pearson said of the beast's near-miss at the abattoir.
Since he is no longer being sent to slaughter, Knickers has found a way to be useful around the farm helping to lead and coach other cattle.

"You'll put him in a paddock and all the other cattle seem to get attracted to him," Mr Pearson said.

"Whenever he wants to get up and start walking there's a trail of hundreds of cattle following him.
"The secret to life," Knickers whispered. "Is to be bigger than the machine they use to kill you."
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JD
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Re: Heroes and zeroes of the animal kingdom

Post by JD » 29 Nov 2018, 13:24

Could also go under Lite Laffs, but works here too. Must be watched with the sound on. That flat-faced gray cat in the cover photo is actually kind of terrifying in slow motion.

Beep boop, you silly humans.

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Eric the .5b
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Re: Heroes and zeroes of the animal kingdom

Post by Eric the .5b » 29 Nov 2018, 18:41

I'm fascinated with that steer, if only because I haven't seen a cow taller than me since I was a child.

I mean, he's on the tall end for elk and moose, and he far outweighs even the biggest ones. He's bigger than some rhinoceri! He's humongous.

And apparently, usually kind to smaller cows...
"Better that ten guilty persons escape than that one innocent suffer."
Cet animal est très méchant / Quand on l'attaque il se défend.

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Tuco
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Re: Heroes and zeroes of the animal kingdom

Post by Tuco » 30 Nov 2018, 06:38

I'd hate to have to rope the son of a bitch.

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Warren
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Re: Heroes and zeroes of the animal kingdom

Post by Warren » 30 Nov 2018, 13:23

Tuco wrote:
30 Nov 2018, 06:38
I'd hate to have to rope the son of a bitch.
Well he's a steer so, you could probably just hold the noose up and he'd amble over and dip his head into it.
I think in terms of credibility and it's all black eyes as far as you can see in the media landscape. - JasonL

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JD
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Re: Heroes and zeroes of the animal kingdom

Post by JD » 03 Dec 2018, 13:29

Keas, the alpine parrots of New Zealand, are smart and inquisitive, and like to play with new things. Unfortunately those new things can include traffic cones, which is kind of bad both for traffic and keas.



So people set up jungle gyms to encourage the keas to play there, instead of playing in traffic.
Beep boop, you silly humans.

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Hugh Akston
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Re: Heroes and zeroes of the animal kingdom

Post by Hugh Akston » 07 Dec 2018, 00:51

How does an eel end up in the nose of a seal?

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In the nearly 40 years that we have been working to monitor and protect endangered Hawaiian monk seals, we have only started seeing "eels in noses" in the last few years. Yet, our researchers have observed this phenomenon three or four times now. We don't know if this is just some strange statistical anomaly or if we will see more eels in seals in the future.

Hawaiian monk seals forage by shoving their mouth and nose into the crevasses of coral reefs, under rocks, or into the sand. They are looking for prey that likes to hide, like eels. This may be a case of an eel that was cornered trying to defend itself or escape. Alternatively, the seal could have swallowed the eel and regurgitated it so that the eel came out the wrong way. We might never know.

All of the seals that we have encountered in this slippery situation have been quickly caught by our response teams and the eel gently and successfully removed. The seals were released and haven't shown any issues from the incidents.
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lunchstealer
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Re: Heroes and zeroes of the animal kingdom

Post by lunchstealer » 16 Dec 2018, 01:42

IMG_1431.jpg
IMG_1431.jpg (152.97 KiB) Viewed 1509 times
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nicole
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Re: Heroes and zeroes of the animal kingdom

Post by nicole » 23 Jan 2019, 21:11

"Fucking qualia." -Hugh Akston

"Sliced bagels aren't why trump won; it's why it doesn't matter who wins." -dhex

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Hugh Akston
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Re: Heroes and zeroes of the animal kingdom

Post by Hugh Akston » 17 Feb 2019, 21:55

Image
"Is a Lulztopia the best we can hope for?!?" ~Taktix®
"Somali pirates are beholden to their hostages in a way that the USG is not." ~Dangerman

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JasonL
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Re: Heroes and zeroes of the animal kingdom

Post by JasonL » 17 Feb 2019, 22:05

Haha love it. Also I’m drunk.

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Pham Nuwen
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Re: Heroes and zeroes of the animal kingdom

Post by Pham Nuwen » 17 Feb 2019, 23:44

JasonL wrote:
17 Feb 2019, 22:05
Haha love it. Also I’m drunk.
I'm sick so drink up in my place. Huzzah!
Goddamn libertarian message board. Hugh Akston

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dead_elvis
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Re: Heroes and zeroes of the animal kingdom

Post by dead_elvis » 19 Feb 2019, 15:22

Dethklok was on to something:

"Never forget: a war on undocumented immigrants by necessity is a war on all of our freedoms of association and movement."

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nicole
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Re: Heroes and zeroes of the animal kingdom

Post by nicole » 27 Feb 2019, 08:31

"Fucking qualia." -Hugh Akston

"Sliced bagels aren't why trump won; it's why it doesn't matter who wins." -dhex

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Hugh Akston
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Re: Heroes and zeroes of the animal kingdom

Post by Hugh Akston » 27 Feb 2019, 22:13

Fat Rat is definitely a Metaphor For Our Times, but I can’t decide whether it’s because the government expects us to conform to their rigid designs or because our decadence holds us back from our #goals.
"Is a Lulztopia the best we can hope for?!?" ~Taktix®
"Somali pirates are beholden to their hostages in a way that the USG is not." ~Dangerman

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Hugh Akston
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Re: Heroes and zeroes of the animal kingdom

Post by Hugh Akston » 12 Mar 2019, 18:57

"Is a Lulztopia the best we can hope for?!?" ~Taktix®
"Somali pirates are beholden to their hostages in a way that the USG is not." ~Dangerman

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Hugh Akston
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Re: Heroes and zeroes of the animal kingdom

Post by Hugh Akston » 12 Jun 2019, 16:54

#yesallsharks

Image
In what was likely a turf war at a Seoul aquarium, a female sand tiger shark has eaten a male banded hound shark.

It took the 8-year-old female 21 hours to eat the 5-year-old male inside a tank at the COEX Aquarium. According to video of the consumption, the female shark started with the male's head and slowly went about consuming the rest of his body.

This act of shark cannibalism likely was the result of the sharks bumping into one another. "Sharks have their own territories," an aquarium official told Reuters. "Sometimes, when they bump into each other, they bite out of astonishment."

Despite her best efforts to make a meal of the male shark, the female shark is expected to at some point regurgitate the remains of her former roommate.
"Is a Lulztopia the best we can hope for?!?" ~Taktix®
"Somali pirates are beholden to their hostages in a way that the USG is not." ~Dangerman

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thoreau
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Re: Heroes and zeroes of the animal kingdom

Post by thoreau » 12 Jun 2019, 17:12

The #SharkLivesMatter movement doesn't want to touch shark-on-shark violence because it undermines their narratives. They want to pretend that it's only Jets who kill Sharks.
"They were basically like D&D min maxers, but instead of pissing off their DM, they destroyed the global economy. Also, instead of their DM making a level 7 paladin fight a beholder as punishment, he got a +3 sword of turning."
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lunchstealer
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Re: Heroes and zeroes of the animal kingdom

Post by lunchstealer » 13 Jun 2019, 02:38

Cannibalism tho?

They're not the same species. Or genus. Or family. Or order.

That's cannibalism in the way a human eating a rabbit is cannibalism.
"The constitution is more of a BDSM agreement with a safe word." - Sandy

"Neoliberalism. Austerity. Booga booga!!!!" - JasonL

"We can't confirm rumors that Lynndie England is in the running to be Gina Haspel's personal aide." - DAR

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Andrew
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Re: Heroes and zeroes of the animal kingdom

Post by Andrew » 13 Jun 2019, 09:25

lunchstealer wrote:
13 Jun 2019, 02:38
Cannibalism tho?

They're not the same species. Or genus. Or family. Or order.

That's cannibalism in the way a human eating a rabbit is cannibalism.
A person eating a Neanderthal?
We live in the fucked age. Get used to it. - dhex

The sun only shines when a woman is being sexually abused. - Warren

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lunchstealer
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Re: Heroes and zeroes of the animal kingdom

Post by lunchstealer » 13 Jun 2019, 10:49

Andrew wrote:
13 Jun 2019, 09:25
lunchstealer wrote:
13 Jun 2019, 02:38
Cannibalism tho?

They're not the same species. Or genus. Or family. Or order.

That's cannibalism in the way a human eating a rabbit is cannibalism.
A person eating a Neanderthal?
Neanderthal are the same species, different subspecies. H. sapiens sapiens vs H. sapiens neandertalis.

Rabbits are same superorder, different order. Lagomorpha Leporidae Sylvilagus floridanus vs Primates Hominidae Homo sapiens
"The constitution is more of a BDSM agreement with a safe word." - Sandy

"Neoliberalism. Austerity. Booga booga!!!!" - JasonL

"We can't confirm rumors that Lynndie England is in the running to be Gina Haspel's personal aide." - DAR

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Hugh Akston
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Re: Heroes and zeroes of the animal kingdom

Post by Hugh Akston » 09 Jul 2019, 16:48

"Is a Lulztopia the best we can hope for?!?" ~Taktix®
"Somali pirates are beholden to their hostages in a way that the USG is not." ~Dangerman


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Jasper
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Re: Heroes and zeroes of the animal kingdom

Post by Jasper » 10 Jul 2019, 15:55

[Attenborough]
"And here we have a fine example of the rare Curcumin Gull in all its majesty. Sometimes referred to, on the sub-continent, as lunch."
[/Attennborough]
"i'd like to move toward not combusting except on special occasions like arbor day." - dhex

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