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Pham Nuwen
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Re: Home $weet Home

Post by Pham Nuwen » 08 Oct 2018, 22:19

Traveller: We are going to spend a fortune updating this for a sale!
Me: Then lets just throw it up for $350k and we'll proba
Sister in law out of nowhere: Uh uh! Put it for $380k!
Me: ...
Traveller: ...
Me: *staring directly into sister in laws eyes* So yeah. She has no idea what she is talking about. $350k.
Traveller: They'll talk us down a little won't they?
Me: Yeah. But our selling point is whatever puts your loans behind us and a good start on our next house.
Traveller: I'll talk to [realtor]

Seriously guys. She's been doing this shit for the last few months. Why doesn't she understand she has no say in any of our decisions? Even traveller is very wtf-y about the situation. And she doesn't usually take my side like that.
Goddamn libertarian message board. Hugh Akston

leave me to my mescaline smoothie in peace, please. dhex

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Pham Nuwen
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Re: Home $weet Home

Post by Pham Nuwen » 09 Oct 2018, 01:39

Damn you peeps! Now I'm all paranoid about the situation. Talked to the other sister and confirms that sister in law* is scared but wouldn't directly intervene in anything. But that outburst really set me off. I used some dhex'ese but think i got a straight answer. Mostly. Now I'm actually debating internally having everything in fucking writing. You guys suck/are the best.

*numero uno i guess? I don't know. i'm not using names. deal with it.
Goddamn libertarian message board. Hugh Akston

leave me to my mescaline smoothie in peace, please. dhex

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Jennifer
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Re: Home $weet Home

Post by Jennifer » 09 Oct 2018, 01:53

Given all you've said about your in-laws, Pham, paranoia strikes me as a very sane and sensible reaction. Somebody who is getting free room and board from you and won't even repay you with a couple hours of babysitting a healthy kid when your other one is having a medical emergency ... is NOT someone trustworthy, IMO.
"Myself, despite what they say about libertarians, I think we're actually allowed to pursue options beyond futility or sucking the dicks of the powerful." -- Eric the .5b

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Pham Nuwen
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Re: Home $weet Home

Post by Pham Nuwen » 09 Oct 2018, 02:26

Jennifer wrote:
09 Oct 2018, 01:53
Given all you've said about your in-laws, Pham, paranoia strikes me as a very sane and sensible reaction. Somebody who is getting free room and board from you and won't even repay you with a couple hours of babysitting a healthy kid when your other one is having a medical emergency ... is NOT someone trustworthy, IMO.
To be fair, my kids are assholes when they aren't being adorable.
Goddamn libertarian message board. Hugh Akston

leave me to my mescaline smoothie in peace, please. dhex

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Pham Nuwen
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Re: Home $weet Home

Post by Pham Nuwen » 09 Oct 2018, 02:28

Younger sister in law seems ... not like her old self. Maturity? I don't know. It's weird.
Goddamn libertarian message board. Hugh Akston

leave me to my mescaline smoothie in peace, please. dhex

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Jennifer
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Re: Home $weet Home

Post by Jennifer » 09 Oct 2018, 02:33

Pham Nuwen wrote:
09 Oct 2018, 02:26
Jennifer wrote:
09 Oct 2018, 01:53
Given all you've said about your in-laws, Pham, paranoia strikes me as a very sane and sensible reaction. Somebody who is getting free room and board from you and won't even repay you with a couple hours of babysitting a healthy kid when your other one is having a medical emergency ... is NOT someone trustworthy, IMO.
To be fair, my kids are assholes when they aren't being adorable.
All kids are assholes when they're not being adorable -- and sometimes even when they are. But with kids, unlike with your in-laws, it's reasonable to hope they'll grow out of it.

I mean, maybe you and Traveler selling your house will be the catalyst for your freeloading boarders to realize "Y'know, they've done more than enough for me already, and it would be unforgivably selfish to demand still more." But personally, I wouldn't bet mine and my family's financial well-being on that prospect.
"Myself, despite what they say about libertarians, I think we're actually allowed to pursue options beyond futility or sucking the dicks of the powerful." -- Eric the .5b

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Pham Nuwen
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Re: Home $weet Home

Post by Pham Nuwen » 09 Oct 2018, 04:29

Jennifer wrote:
09 Oct 2018, 02:33
Pham Nuwen wrote:
09 Oct 2018, 02:26
Jennifer wrote:
09 Oct 2018, 01:53
Given all you've said about your in-laws, Pham, paranoia strikes me as a very sane and sensible reaction. Somebody who is getting free room and board from you and won't even repay you with a couple hours of babysitting a healthy kid when your other one is having a medical emergency ... is NOT someone trustworthy, IMO.
To be fair, my kids are assholes when they aren't being adorable.
All kids are assholes when they're not being adorable -- and sometimes even when they are. But with kids, unlike with your in-laws, it's reasonable to hope they'll grow out of it.

I mean, maybe you and Traveler selling your house will be the catalyst for your freeloading boarders to realize "Y'know, they've done more than enough for me already, and it would be unforgivably selfish to demand still more." But personally, I wouldn't bet mine and my family's financial well-being on that prospect.
The "freeloading boarders" were invited here as freeloading boarders. I know the fucking score, okay? It's why they won't help with anything. They have both worked their lives to the point that they live in our house. They are embarrassed. I get it. I can still be annoyed at it and rant to what I think are friends. It doesn't change my outlook that they are two flawed humans who suck at adult life but get by all the same. That's like all of us.

They aren't going to change. I'm fucking aware. I have to believe they are not monsters. I have believe they just want a good life as well. I get the barely obscured envy from them. I do. But they would be different people than who I grew up with.

Sister in law was one grade below me. I've known her from like 9th or 10th grade. I've known traveller since 5th grade. We've all been in a relationship of sorts* since our freshman year of college. These people are annoying. Not bad. And if i'm wrong I'll let you know.

So jen, all due respect and I mean that I respect you immensely, because I do. FUCK OFF.

*we've known friends of friends since about that time or before
Goddamn libertarian message board. Hugh Akston

leave me to my mescaline smoothie in peace, please. dhex

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Jennifer
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Re: Home $weet Home

Post by Jennifer » 09 Oct 2018, 05:08

FWIW, I too believe they want a good life. I just hope they're not going to want it at your expense. Either way, good luck.
"Myself, despite what they say about libertarians, I think we're actually allowed to pursue options beyond futility or sucking the dicks of the powerful." -- Eric the .5b

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Ellie
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Re: Home $weet Home

Post by Ellie » 09 Oct 2018, 05:28

Pham Nuwen wrote:
09 Oct 2018, 01:39
Damn you peeps! Now I'm all paranoid about the situation. Talked to the other sister and confirms that sister in law* is scared but wouldn't directly intervene in anything. But that outburst really set me off. I used some dhex'ese but think i got a straight answer. Mostly. Now I'm actually debating internally having everything in fucking writing. You guys suck/are the best.
I don't think it hurts to get everything in writing up front, if you play it off like, "I don't want to forget to tell you something important, I'm such a bad communicator sometimes, I want to make sure you guys have all the information, I'd hate to blindside you by mistake" -- i.e. acting like you're the potential problem in the relationship rather than them being the potential fuckups. Then either nothing goes wrong and you're fine, or something does go wrong and at least you have the paper trail.

If your realtor seems like the type of person who's good at managing conflict, you could invite your in-laws to sit in on some of your meetings with the realtor (or cc them on email exchanges) so they feel very informed about what you're planning and where everything is in the process. Having warned the realtor ahead of time, obviously, that the in-laws are being included to help them deal with their fears, and not because they actually get a vote.

It's a scary thing for any family to be faced with a change of housing due to outside circumstances. Your in-laws might just get so caught up in figuring out their own situation and trying to retain some control that they inadvertently cause problems with your sale because they can't see the big picture. It wouldn't be malicious or even intentional on their part but it would still suck.
*numero uno i guess? I don't know. i'm not using names. deal with it.
You could call her Silvia (sister-in-law -> SIL -> Silvia). I dunno, it's 4am here and that sounds clever right now :lol: :lol: :lol:
"NB stands for nota bene do not @ me" - nicole

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JasonL
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Re: Home $weet Home

Post by JasonL » 09 Oct 2018, 08:50

Because I’m not helpful - did I tell you guys about MiL adventures as real estate tycoon where the guy she hired to do the floors in a fix up rental unit a) effed up the floors and b) refused to leave the house. There was no rental agreement with him - he just refused to leave and had his gf show up with suitcases. 8 week eviction even though it should have been straight trespassing. Cops wouldn’t make him leave because he kept saying he had a rental agreement but couldn’t find it. Sympathetic do gooder judge.

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dhex
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Re: Home $weet Home

Post by dhex » 09 Oct 2018, 16:38

lunchstealer wrote:
08 Oct 2018, 19:32
With this lurking in the unlit corner:

Image
I can only get so erect.gif
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Ellie
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Re: Home $weet Home

Post by Ellie » 09 Oct 2018, 16:41

God, I hate our living room. I know I bitch about it all the time but I just can't let it go. It just doesn't work at all for the way we hang out, and we spend pretty much all our non-work, non-sleeping time in here together. Ugh.

I'd list this as another good reason to sell our house now except that I can't even figure out how I'd stage it! It sucks THAT MUCH. (And somehow I don't think our current setup would show well, being that it consists of two old armchairs, a desktop on an end table, an entertainment center partially held together by duct tape, and a toddler bunk bed :lol: )
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Jennifer
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Re: Home $weet Home

Post by Jennifer » 09 Oct 2018, 16:43

Ellie wrote:
09 Oct 2018, 16:41
God, I hate our living room. I know I bitch about it all the time but I just can't let it go. It just doesn't work at all for the way we hang out, and we spend pretty much all our non-work, non-sleeping time in here together. Ugh.
Any chance it could be improved by rearranging or reorganizing what furniture you have there?
"Myself, despite what they say about libertarians, I think we're actually allowed to pursue options beyond futility or sucking the dicks of the powerful." -- Eric the .5b

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Ellie
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Re: Home $weet Home

Post by Ellie » 09 Oct 2018, 16:43

JasonL wrote:
09 Oct 2018, 08:50
Because I’m not helpful - did I tell you guys about MiL adventures as real estate tycoon where the guy she hired to do the floors in a fix up rental unit a) effed up the floors and b) refused to leave the house. There was no rental agreement with him - he just refused to leave and had his gf show up with suitcases. 8 week eviction even though it should have been straight trespassing. Cops wouldn’t make him leave because he kept saying he had a rental agreement but couldn’t find it. Sympathetic do gooder judge.
I have to confess that after some of the stories you've told about your MiL, when you began a story about something wacky that happened while she was a landlord, I absolutely figured SHE would be the source of the crazy behavior.
"NB stands for nota bene do not @ me" - nicole

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Ellie
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Re: Home $weet Home

Post by Ellie » 09 Oct 2018, 16:46

Jennifer wrote:
09 Oct 2018, 16:43
Ellie wrote:
09 Oct 2018, 16:41
God, I hate our living room. I know I bitch about it all the time but I just can't let it go. It just doesn't work at all for the way we hang out, and we spend pretty much all our non-work, non-sleeping time in here together. Ugh.
Any chance it could be improved by rearranging or reorganizing what furniture you have there?
I don't think there's an arrangement I haven't tried. My hatred is pathological by now.
"NB stands for nota bene do not @ me" - nicole

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Jennifer
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Re: Home $weet Home

Post by Jennifer » 09 Oct 2018, 16:50

Ellie wrote:
09 Oct 2018, 16:46
Jennifer wrote:
09 Oct 2018, 16:43
Ellie wrote:
09 Oct 2018, 16:41
God, I hate our living room. I know I bitch about it all the time but I just can't let it go. It just doesn't work at all for the way we hang out, and we spend pretty much all our non-work, non-sleeping time in here together. Ugh.
Any chance it could be improved by rearranging or reorganizing what furniture you have there?
I don't think there's an arrangement I haven't tried. My hatred is pathological by now.
Anything specific, though? (I ask because sometimes, "outsiders" can notice things "insiders" overlook, due to proximity.) When you say "it doesn't work for the way you hang out" -- what do you mean by that? Like, the kids cannot play without blocking the view of someone trying to watch a show (or any other activity)? It's hard to keep neat (even by the standards of a three-preschooler household) because there's no official "place" for various things?
"Myself, despite what they say about libertarians, I think we're actually allowed to pursue options beyond futility or sucking the dicks of the powerful." -- Eric the .5b

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Ellie
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Re: Home $weet Home

Post by Ellie » 09 Oct 2018, 16:59

I made a drawing so I could stare at it balefully. :lol: :lol: :lol:

My requirements for a happy living room are:
- seating for 4 people who can see each other and the TV
- David's seating being an armchair with his computer next to it (this is like a freaking 6'x6' setup)
- furniture against the wall (soooo many living room arrangements online recommend putting the furniture in the middle of the room for a "conversation area" but I hate the sensation of stuff going on behind me when I'm sitting down relaxing)
- no looming beam overhead where I'm sitting
- area for the kids' toys
- clear pathway through for the kids to run back and forth

I know I've become fully bonkers about this but I can't dial it back. Particularly today, because I slept so badly and am just generally hormonal as crap right now.
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Jennifer
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Re: Home $weet Home

Post by Jennifer » 09 Oct 2018, 17:03

Where is your furniture and other "stuff" in that map?
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Jennifer
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Re: Home $weet Home

Post by Jennifer » 09 Oct 2018, 17:06

I was going to suggest using furniture to divide the room into discrete "areas," though if you are really bugged by the sensation of stuff happening behind you that wouldn't work. Although I wonder -- maybe you could make lemonade out of the beam-lemon by, say, hanging a curtain from it in order to separate the presumptive dining alcove from the rest of the room?

Also, what direction does that window face -- east, west, north or south? Does it get direct sunlight shining through it at any part of the day?
"Myself, despite what they say about libertarians, I think we're actually allowed to pursue options beyond futility or sucking the dicks of the powerful." -- Eric the .5b

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Highway
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Re: Home $weet Home

Post by Highway » 09 Oct 2018, 17:11

I think Ellie's main problem is that with the way the doors and windows are located, including the 'door' into the dining room and the kitchen, there is nowhere to fit the TV, David's required setup, and a couch, and still have any kind of flow. Plus Ellie doesn't like not sitting against a wall, and there's only really 1 wall in that whole room, on the left side of her drawing.
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Ellie
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Re: Home $weet Home

Post by Ellie » 09 Oct 2018, 17:18

Here's our current setup. (I'm on my Chromebook right now so the additions are of slightly less than professional graphic quality, haha.)

The hope with the bed was that the kids would chill in the loft bed on top, and keep toys underneath. They like climbing up and down on the bed but they don't really chill (Modspawn, in particular, likes to be a lot closer to the TV). And obviously there is nowhere else for anyone to sit if they were to visit. (I considered poufs/ottomans but the kids will just drag those all over the house and use them to climb on things.)
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Ellie
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Re: Home $weet Home

Post by Ellie » 09 Oct 2018, 17:25

Highway wrote:
09 Oct 2018, 17:11
I think Ellie's main problem is that with the way the doors and windows are located, including the 'door' into the dining room and the kitchen, there is nowhere to fit the TV, David's required setup, and a couch, and still have any kind of flow. Plus Ellie doesn't like not sitting against a wall, and there's only really 1 wall in that whole room, on the left side of her drawing.
Bingo. If you push everything against the walls you end up with way too much space across the middle of the room (so either you're squinting at the TV or the person you're sitting across from) and if you push things to the center you lose flow and you get all kinds of fuckery happening behind your back when you're sitting down.

It occurs to me that the main problem (at least, the source of my "back against a wall" desires) may be my mischievous/destructive children moreso than the house itself, but only one of those two things am I allowed to sell or use a hammer on, soooooooo ....
"NB stands for nota bene do not @ me" - nicole

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Jennifer
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Re: Home $weet Home

Post by Jennifer » 09 Oct 2018, 17:46

Here's a crazy thought: given that the TV really is too far from the bed to be comfortable for viewing, and also given that you want a wall at your back -- what if you remade the dining area into a TV-watching nook -- bed where the dining table now is, chair by the bed (though not in a straight line), TV where the "piles of crap" are (dunno if they're literally piles, but if so, you can likely get a good price on a bookcase, free-standing cabinet or chest of drawers at a thrift store, to store said crap in)? If you have a chest of drawers to hold said crap, you could even put the TV on top of it. Then put the dining table in the main area near the alcove.
"Myself, despite what they say about libertarians, I think we're actually allowed to pursue options beyond futility or sucking the dicks of the powerful." -- Eric the .5b

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Highway
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Re: Home $weet Home

Post by Highway » 09 Oct 2018, 17:58

There's no room for that. That area is only like 6' by 8', including the door into the kitchen.
"Sharks do not go around challenging people to games of chance like dojo breakers."

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Ellie
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Re: Home $weet Home

Post by Ellie » 09 Oct 2018, 18:03

We actually had that setup for a while and it worked okay (loveseat where the dining table and my chair is now, David's chair the same, dining table where the toddler bed is now) -- EXCEPT that the beam down the middle "dividing" the loveseat from David's chair drove me nuts. It felt like putting a chair on either side of a doorway and talking across the gap -- even though you're close to each other, you feel divided because you're in separate rooms. The spaces are obviously open to each other just fine, but it felt wrong to me. Sigh.

Edited to add: I even tried to figure out a way to put up fake beams or integrate the beam in a tray ceiling setup to disguise its divisiveness. But if you continue the line of the right-hand hallway wall (aka the left-hand wall of the dining area) across the ceiling, it runs into the window. So there's no splitting the room down the middle that way either.
"NB stands for nota bene do not @ me" - nicole

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