Horrible, Offensive Geekery

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Ellie
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Re: Horrible, Offensive Geekery

Post by Ellie » 27 Apr 2019, 12:50

I'm bored and trapped by a fussy baby so spending too much time pondering this entirely academic point: if someone who had never seen any MCU movies wanted to get caught up enough to watch Endgame, which would be the minimum number of movies to watch in advance?

E.g. Thor: Ragnarok is probably advisable, but you can skip the previous Thor movies. Are ANY of the Cap'n 'Merica movies essential? Probably not?
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thoreau
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Re: Horrible, Offensive Geekery

Post by thoreau » 27 Apr 2019, 12:56

I haven't seen Endgame yet, but as far as what would be helpful for Infinity War:

Civil War would be helpful but not essential. The first Guardians of the Galaxy would be more helpful than the second. The second Ant-Man introduces some stuff that might matter for Endgame. If you want to know who Vision is, watch Age of Ultron, but otherwise don't bother.

Thor Ragnarok is fun and helpful, but again, not absolutely essential. Frankly, not much is essential. What you need most is to watch Infinity War and have David fill you in on bits of backstory.

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Re: Horrible, Offensive Geekery

Post by Hugh Akston » 27 Apr 2019, 13:04

The Winter Solider is essential. Civil War is advisable because it is the source of the bad blood between Cap and Iron Man.

The movies with the Infinity Stones are: Captain America the First Avenger, Avengers, Age of Ultron, Thor the Dark World, Dr Strange, Guardians of the Galaxy, and Infinity War.
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Mo
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Re: Horrible, Offensive Geekery

Post by Mo » 27 Apr 2019, 19:09

Also, technically Captain Marvel
his voice is so soothing, but why do conspiracy nuts always sound like Batman and Robin solving one of Riddler's puzzles out loud? - fod

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Re: Horrible, Offensive Geekery

Post by Hugh Akston » 27 Apr 2019, 20:29

Good call.

It might be easier to start by eliminating the inessential movies: Thor, Black Panther, GotG 2, Spider-Man Homecoming, Ant-Man, Ant-Man and the Wasp. It's also not clear that any of the Iron Man movies are strictly necessary. So that's got it down to 13-16.
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Painboy
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Re: Horrible, Offensive Geekery

Post by Painboy » 27 Apr 2019, 21:42

Hugh Akston wrote:
27 Apr 2019, 20:29
Good call.

It might be easier to start by eliminating the inessential movies: Thor, Black Panther, GotG 2, Spider-Man Homecoming, Ant-Man, Ant-Man and the Wasp. It's also not clear that any of the Iron Man movies are strictly necessary. So that's got it down to 13-16.
I would think Ant Man and the Wasp is essential as he's kind of major plot point in the story.

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Re: Horrible, Offensive Geekery

Post by lunchstealer » 28 Apr 2019, 21:41

Hugh Akston wrote:
27 Apr 2019, 13:04
The Winter Solider is essential
IMO this is true just in general. Watch the Avengers (2012) first, but yeah.
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Re: Horrible, Offensive Geekery

Post by lunchstealer » 08 May 2019, 03:21

Captain Jellico Dad Jokes

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Re: Horrible, Offensive Geekery

Post by Warren » 08 May 2019, 10:07

What we do know is that it was the custom at the time for the losers to brew a pot of Earl Grey for the winners.
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Re: Horrible, Offensive Geekery

Post by Kwix » 09 May 2019, 20:29

Hugh Akston wrote:
27 Apr 2019, 20:29
Good call.

It might be easier to start by eliminating the inessential movies: Thor, Black Panther, GotG 2, Spider-Man Homecoming, Ant-Man, Ant-Man and the Wasp. It's also not clear that any of the Iron Man movies are strictly necessary. So that's got it down to 13-16.
All of your excluded movies are the only ones I've actually seen (minus Spider-Man). Whelp, might as well look up Endgame spoilers now.
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Re: Horrible, Offensive Geekery

Post by lunchstealer » 09 May 2019, 20:46

Kwix wrote:
09 May 2019, 20:29
Hugh Akston wrote:
27 Apr 2019, 20:29
Good call.

It might be easier to start by eliminating the inessential movies: Thor, Black Panther, GotG 2, Spider-Man Homecoming, Ant-Man, Ant-Man and the Wasp. It's also not clear that any of the Iron Man movies are strictly necessary. So that's got it down to 13-16.
All of your excluded movies are the only ones I've actually seen (minus Spider-Man). Whelp, might as well look up Endgame spoilers now.
Wait, you've seen Thor and Spider Man Homecoming but not Avengers or The Winter Soldier? Fix that shit bro. You owe it to yourself.
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Re: Horrible, Offensive Geekery

Post by Hugh Akston » 09 May 2019, 22:31

lunchstealer wrote:
09 May 2019, 20:46
Kwix wrote:
09 May 2019, 20:29
Hugh Akston wrote:
27 Apr 2019, 20:29
Good call.

It might be easier to start by eliminating the inessential movies: Thor, Black Panther, GotG 2, Spider-Man Homecoming, Ant-Man, Ant-Man and the Wasp. It's also not clear that any of the Iron Man movies are strictly necessary. So that's got it down to 13-16.
All of your excluded movies are the only ones I've actually seen (minus Spider-Man). Whelp, might as well look up Endgame spoilers now.
Wait, you've seen Thor and Spider Man Homecoming but not Avengers or The Winter Soldier? Fix that shit bro. You owe it to yourself.
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Re: Horrible, Offensive Geekery

Post by thoreau » 11 May 2019, 14:08

Fact check: True
FB_IMG_1557598033230.jpg
FB_IMG_1557598033230.jpg (67.97 KiB) Viewed 153 times
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Re: Horrible, Offensive Geekery

Post by Hugh Akston » 11 May 2019, 14:41

At most, he watched it once.
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Re: Horrible, Offensive Geekery

Post by Mo » 13 May 2019, 10:16

Did Hawkeye have shitty hair in the other 14 million versions?
his voice is so soothing, but why do conspiracy nuts always sound like Batman and Robin solving one of Riddler's puzzles out loud? - fod

no one ever yells worldstar when a pet gets fucked up - dhex

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Re: Horrible, Offensive Geekery

Post by thoreau » 19 May 2019, 00:31

https://www.freep.com/story/entertainme ... 724967002/

Wonder Woman marrying Captain Marvel?

I'll be in my bunk.

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Re: Horrible, Offensive Geekery

Post by Pham Nuwen » 19 May 2019, 00:43

Mo wrote:
13 May 2019, 10:16
Did Hawkeye have shitty hair in the other 14 million versions?
Dont' fight it, old man. The coolest guy in my cohort had that haircut before endgame was a thing. I must accept it. You should as well.
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Jennifer
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Re: Horrible, Offensive Geekery

Post by Jennifer » 19 May 2019, 01:38

I've been really liking the show What We Do in the Shadows (a "reality" show about vampires on Staten Island); some of the humor comes from the fish-out-of-temporal-water jokes about these centuries-old creatures who of course fail miserably whenever they try to "fit in" with modern human culture. (Also, by the standards of the vampire community they're considered losers.)

So I was thinking: it would be really interesting, if a sufficiently talented storyteller did a tale about vampires in the far future, who are having even worse problems than the undead dorks in Staten Island because by now, it's been so long that humanity is evolving away from homo sapiens into something else. Not even problems of the "this post-human blood is not nutritious" variety, more like "Even the most intelligent and attractive members of the species homo erectus would be considered stupid and freakishly ugly, by homo sapien standards." And the most attractive and intelligent members of our species will be in similar straits, among whoever our distant post-sapien descendants are.
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Eric the .5b
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Re: Horrible, Offensive Geekery

Post by Eric the .5b » 19 May 2019, 06:35

Jennifer wrote:
19 May 2019, 01:38
So I was thinking: it would be really interesting, if a sufficiently talented storyteller did a tale about vampires in the far future, who are having even worse problems than the undead dorks in Staten Island because by now, it's been so long that humanity is evolving away from homo sapiens into something else. Not even problems of the "this post-human blood is not nutritious" variety, more like "Even the most intelligent and attractive members of the species homo erectus would be considered stupid and freakishly ugly, by homo sapien standards." And the most attractive and intelligent members of our species will be in similar straits, among whoever our distant post-sapien descendants are.
Adapting to species change does give a naturalistic reason for vampire reproduction, given they're otherwise immortals creating their own rivals. As a new species arises, vampires create progeny from that new species. When vampires of extinct species start to stick out, they get wiped out (or learn to live in hiding), while the vampires of the new species prosper.

Of course, as has been pointed out, a living member of H. antecessor or H. neanderthalensis might be able to sit at the table next to yours at a restaurant without striking you as "inhuman"*, much less some umpteen-thousand-year-old predator who's had a lot of practice blending in. The next human species, assuming we don't engineer them ourselves, will probably not look too radically different from us. Even if vampires don't have powers that could make the situation easier for them (shape-shifting to cover appearance**, mind-reading to cover a lack of intelligence***, etc.) , it might take a number of steps in the human evolutionary record before looking archaic and seeming stupid actually became a problem for a given vampire.

So, you could have a number of populations of vampires of distinct species, each with increasing problems as time passed.





* Though, by a number of standards, they would be human as members of genus Homo.
** I imagine someone's already done a story where a staked ancient vampire reverts to being an Australopithecus, but I want to do that, now...
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Jennifer
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Re: Horrible, Offensive Geekery

Post by Jennifer » 19 May 2019, 14:01

Eric the .5b wrote:
19 May 2019, 06:35

Of course, as has been pointed out, a living member of H. antecessor or H. neanderthalensis might be able to sit at the table next to yours at a restaurant without striking you as "inhuman"*, much less some umpteen-thousand-year-old predator who's had a lot of practice blending in. The next human species, assuming we don't engineer them ourselves, will probably not look too radically different from us.
A neanderthal with modern clothes and hairstyles (from what I've read and seen) likely could blend in and be merely considered "a bit on the homely side" by h. sapien attractiveness standards -- but then, neanderthals* are more like our cousins than our ancestors. But a homo erectus couldn't fit in without, at minimum, use of major facial prosthetics and similar things -- at best, a casual observer would think "That's a modern human with some birth defect causing abnormal bone growth on the face."

Neanderthal child (facial reproduction):

Image

Homo erectus adult (ditto):
Image

*According to normal, non-batshit science. I do know Dondunderhead's weird nouveau-racist theories claim that whites are superior to all other races because we're the only ones with neanderthal DNA, a conclusion he doubtless reached after walking barefoot in the snow to get to the genetic-testing lab.
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Jennifer
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Re: Horrible, Offensive Geekery

Post by Jennifer » 19 May 2019, 14:07

At minimum -- assuming vampires who can NOT shape-shift -- an erectus vampire (or homo sapien vampire surrounded by post-sapien descendants) would be annoyed by all the time-consuming cosmetic crap he or she needs to do before going out among people. Like if I wanted to out-Dolezal Rachel Dolezal -- alter my appearance enough to qualify as full-fledged "black" according to Jim Crow laws -- perming and dyeing my hair would only be the first step; I'd also need to always wear colored contact lenses, apply makeup to every centimeter of visible skin .... this would definitely put me at a huge disadvantage compared to people who naturally look like this. Maybe the oldster vampires would be slightly more likely to become recluses -- not even because "I'm too depressed to go out" or "I'm feeling too hermitlike," but because "I don't have the fucking TIME to bother with all that makeup and prosthetics and whatever."
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Re: Horrible, Offensive Geekery

Post by Jennifer » 19 May 2019, 14:41

Even geekier speculation: the old-fashioned vampires end up facing discrimination from the newer post-sapien vampires. If nothing else, they'd face the vampire equivalent of those racist "hairstyle" rules that still plague many black women today (basically, many "professional" norms, school dress codes and the like require hairstyles that are simple and easy to accomplish with white-person-textured hair, but difficult, expensive and time-consuming for black-person-textured hair). Depending on the author's inclination, THAT could be the crux of the story: homo sapien vampires are SICK of being told they HAVE to wear these expensive prosthetics or apply these complicated makeup techniques if they want post-sapien vampires to respect them and take them seriously.
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Eric the .5b
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Re: Horrible, Offensive Geekery

Post by Eric the .5b » 19 May 2019, 16:34

I'm familiar with H. Erectus; that's why I said neanderthalis (which is currently argued to be part of some modern human ancestry) and antecessor.

H. habilis would have an even worse time, looking like some kind of human/chimp hybrid to our eyes. Really, erectus and habilis vampires would probably go for the "lurking underground or in hidden places" thing. Which, a few steps down the line, sapiens vampires could end up having to pull.

(Of course, that could involve a bunch of undead in a commune they've dug out of an asteroid. "The vaguely embarrassing part is that it's Thag over there who actually jailbreaks the autodocs we order so they'll give us blood on demand." Some ape-man on the other side of the room waves at the camera.)

I really should get around to seeing the movie or the series. All the vampire settings I know, it's unwise to sass ancient vampires about their hair. :)
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Re: Horrible, Offensive Geekery

Post by Jennifer » 19 May 2019, 16:48

It really is a good show. Mainly episodic, but with enough plot and character development that ideally, you should watch all the episodes in order.
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Re: Horrible, Offensive Geekery

Post by dbcooper » Today, 02:32

Internet pedantry, a classic case:

Image
Slip inside a sleeping bag.

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