Light laffs

Music, books, movies, TV, games, hobbies, food, and potent potables. And forum games! Pour a drink, put on your smoking jacket, light a pipe (of whatever), and settle in.
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Warren
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Re: Light laffs

Post by Warren » 20 Dec 2018, 19:38

I hope this is followed up with ransom notes made out of words cut from magazines, pictures of the Chief holding that days newspaper and a gun to his head, and cardboard fingers mailed to the PD.
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Taktix®
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Re: Light laffs

Post by Taktix® » 20 Dec 2018, 19:50

Image
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dbcooper
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Re: Light laffs

Post by dbcooper » 21 Dec 2018, 11:15

Slip inside a sleeping bag.

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Aresen
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Re: Light laffs

Post by Aresen » 01 Jan 2019, 18:25

Four old retired men are walking down a street in Yuma, Arizona
They turn a corner and see a sign that says, "Old Timers Bar - ALL drinks 10
cents."They look at each other and then go in, thinking this is too
good to be true.

The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room,
"Come on in and let me pour one for you! What'll it be, gentlemen?"

There's a fully stocked bar, so each of the men orders a martini.
In no time the bartender serves up four iced martinis shaken, not stirred and says,
"That'll be 10 cents each, please."

The four guys stare at the bartender for a moment, then at each
other. They can't believe their good luck. They pay the 40 cents, finish their martinis,
and order another round.

Again, four excellent martinis are produced, with the bartender
again saying,"That's 40 cents, please."

They pay the 40 cents, but their curiosity gets the better of
them. They've each had two martinis and haven't even spent a dollar
yet.

Finally one of them says, "How can you afford to serve martinis as
good as these for a dime apiece?"

"I'm a retired tailor from Phoenix ," the bartender says, "and I
always wanted to own a bar. Last year I hit the Lottery Jackpot for $125 million and
decided to open this place. Every drink costs a dime. Wine, liquor, beer it's all the same."

"Wow! That's some story!" one of the men says.

As the four of them sip at their martinis, they can't help
noticing seven other people at the end of the bar who don't have any drinks in front of
them and haven't ordered anything the whole time they've been there.


Nodding at the seven at the end of the bar, one of the men asks the Bartender,
"What's with them?"

The bartender says, "They're retired people from Canada . They're waiting
for Happy Hour when drinks are half-price...".
If Trump supporters wanted a tough guy, why did they elect such a whiny bitch? - Mo

Those who know history are doomed to deja vu. - the innominate one

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Eric the .5b
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Re: Light laffs

Post by Eric the .5b » 01 Jan 2019, 18:47

I snickered.
"Better that ten guilty persons escape than that one innocent suffer."
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Andrew
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Re: Light laffs

Post by Andrew » 02 Jan 2019, 00:16

I chortled, but that's not even a joke. Midwestern and Canadian snowbirds can be so tight with money that Jews and Scots get uncomfortable.
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Warren
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Re: Light laffs

Post by Warren » 02 Jan 2019, 01:28

Andrew wrote:
02 Jan 2019, 00:16
I chortled, but that's not even a joke. Midwestern and Canadian snowbirds can be so tight with money that Jews and Scots get uncomfortable.
You didn't mention the Dutch. Obviously you've never been to West Michigan.
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dbcooper
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Re: Light laffs

Post by dbcooper » 05 Jan 2019, 15:41

Sound on please:

Slip inside a sleeping bag.

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Ellie
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Re: Light laffs

Post by Ellie » 05 Jan 2019, 15:47

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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lunchstealer
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Re: Light laffs

Post by lunchstealer » 05 Jan 2019, 16:57

She's a wizard, Jean-Luc.

(Trigger Warning: Jezebel)

We Need to Talk about Wizard Poop
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Aresen
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Re: Light laffs

Post by Aresen » 05 Jan 2019, 17:26

dbcooper wrote:
05 Jan 2019, 15:41
Sound on please:
When you're telepathic, there's no keeping it secret!
If Trump supporters wanted a tough guy, why did they elect such a whiny bitch? - Mo

Those who know history are doomed to deja vu. - the innominate one

Never bring a knife to a joke fight" - dhex

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dbcooper
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Re: Light laffs

Post by dbcooper » 09 Jan 2019, 22:23

Image

girth, girth, girth
Slip inside a sleeping bag.

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dhex
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Re: Light laffs

Post by dhex » 10 Jan 2019, 07:31

Holy shit I thought it was the guy from gates of slumber
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Mo
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Re: Light laffs

Post by Mo » 10 Jan 2019, 07:42

Dog the Bounty Hunter really let himself go.
his voice is so soothing, but why do conspiracy nuts always sound like Batman and Robin solving one of Riddler's puzzles out loud? - fod

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dbcooper
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Re: Light laffs

Post by dbcooper » 10 Jan 2019, 09:37

Slip inside a sleeping bag.

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Jasper
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Re: Light laffs

Post by Jasper » 10 Jan 2019, 12:01

Coolie and the gang?
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lunchstealer
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Re: Light laffs

Post by lunchstealer » 10 Jan 2019, 14:55

HOT SOUNDS ISLAND you guys.
"The constitution is more of a BDSM agreement with a safe word." - Sandy

"Neoliberalism. Austerity. Booga booga!!!!" - JasonL

"We can't confirm rumors that Lynndie England is in the running to be Gina Haspel's personal aide." - DAR

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Painboy
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Re: Light laffs

Post by Painboy » 10 Jan 2019, 17:26

Well if you were wondering what a Muzak concert might look like there you go.

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dead_elvis
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Re: Light laffs

Post by dead_elvis » 10 Jan 2019, 17:32

They just look so pleased with themselves on every damn syncopation you'd think they invented the concept.

And now I have the urge to play some nintendo.
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Highway
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Re: Light laffs

Post by Highway » 10 Jan 2019, 17:39

I love the mirror that makes their 200-person crowd feel more like a 2000 person crowd.
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Painboy
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Re: Light laffs

Post by Painboy » 10 Jan 2019, 19:30

Highway wrote:
10 Jan 2019, 17:39
I love the mirror that makes their 200-person crowd feel more like a 2000 person crowd.
Ha! I didn't even catch that. Nice.

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Warren
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Re: Light laffs

Post by Warren » 10 Jan 2019, 19:53

Yeah well. They played on stage and rocked out 200 people (assuming the audience wasn't payed extras). I'd give up my best day to trade places.
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Eric the .5b
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Re: Light laffs

Post by Eric the .5b » 10 Jan 2019, 20:37

Warren wrote:
10 Jan 2019, 19:53
Yeah well. They played on stage and rocked out 200 people (assuming the audience wasn't payed extras). I'd give up my best day to trade places.
I wouldn't go so far, but I'm reminded that I read a really crappy book, recently. Something that was at the level of bad fanfic, a pile of wish-fulfillment and weird harem-comedy/random fetish-indulgence goofiness where things like "dramatic tension" and "a clearly conveyed setting" wandered off to do some hard, bitter drinking for long stretches of the story. I only finished it because I had a weird curiosity about where this story was going.

Looking at its Amazon rank, that book appears to get something like ~50 sales a day. Mind you, it's free on Kindle Unlimited, where I read it, but that's likely more people each day than who've ever read any fiction I've ever written. (And moreover, it was a sequel, so presumably these people had read the previous book and sought it out, not just started it and given up.)

So yeah, I get that bit of perspective.

(Now, I'm going to watch the video and laugh if it's funny anyway.)
"Better that ten guilty persons escape than that one innocent suffer."
Cet animal est très méchant / Quand on l'attaque il se défend.

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Eric the .5b
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Re: Light laffs

Post by Eric the .5b » 10 Jan 2019, 20:40

OH GOD YOU PEOPLE DIDN'T WARN ME IT WAS SO 70s.
"Better that ten guilty persons escape than that one innocent suffer."
Cet animal est très méchant / Quand on l'attaque il se défend.

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Warren
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Re: Light laffs

Post by Warren » 10 Jan 2019, 20:47

Eric the .5b wrote:
10 Jan 2019, 20:40
OH GOD YOU PEOPLE DIDN'T WARN ME IT WAS SO 70s.
I seriously doubt it. That synthetic sound didn't come round till the 80's
*clicks through to Youtube*
Yup. 83
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