Light laffs
Re: Light laffs
For example, how many swans arrested him?
his voice is so soothing, but why do conspiracy nuts always sound like Batman and Robin solving one of Riddler's puzzles out loud? - fod
no one ever yells worldstar when a pet gets fucked up - dhex
no one ever yells worldstar when a pet gets fucked up - dhex
Re: Light laffs
We are being overly generous to violent sleazy swans here. The are the good looking Hollywood rapist dudes of the pond. They are just geese in nice clothes.
- the innominate one
- Posts: 12356
- Joined: 17 May 2011, 16:17
- Location: hypertime continuum
Re: Light laffs
#blackswanlivesmatter
"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies." -E Benn
"No shit, Sherlock." -JsubD
"now is the time to go fuck yourself until you die." -dhex
"No shit, Sherlock." -JsubD
"now is the time to go fuck yourself until you die." -dhex
- lunchstealer
- Posts: 16378
- Joined: 26 Apr 2010, 17:25
- Location: The Local Fluff in the Local Bubble
Re: Light laffs
#NoSwanLivesMatterthe innominate one wrote:#blackswanlivesmatter
"The constitution is more of a BDSM agreement with a safe word." - Sandy
"Neoliberalism. Austerity. Booga booga!!!!" - JasonL
"We can't confirm rumors that Lynndie England is in the running to be Gina Haspel's personal aide." - DAR
"Neoliberalism. Austerity. Booga booga!!!!" - JasonL
"We can't confirm rumors that Lynndie England is in the running to be Gina Haspel's personal aide." - DAR
Re: Light laffs
Hell, yes! Airplay is airplay, man.JD wrote: ↑19 Dec 2017, 16:46My band has a song with a title that's a religious reference - "The Fire Next Time" - although it's not remotely a religious song and we're not a religious band. But as a result, we got some interest in playing it from a Christian radio station. We're thinking about saying yes just for laughs...
- pistoffnick
- Posts: 2740
- Joined: 26 Apr 2010, 18:52
- Location: Right behind you. Watching.
Re: Light laffs

Always be suspicious of people who have, or crave, power. - Stanley Kubrick
"Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under." - H.L. Mencken
"The welfare of humanity is always the alibi of tyrants." - Albert Camus
"Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under." - H.L. Mencken
"The welfare of humanity is always the alibi of tyrants." - Albert Camus
- the innominate one
- Posts: 12356
- Joined: 17 May 2011, 16:17
- Location: hypertime continuum
Re: Light laffs
Stupid first amendment. If only Madison could see what he hath wrought.
"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies." -E Benn
"No shit, Sherlock." -JsubD
"now is the time to go fuck yourself until you die." -dhex
"No shit, Sherlock." -JsubD
"now is the time to go fuck yourself until you die." -dhex
Re: Light laffs
If this doesn't make you rethink your position on estate taxes, nothing will.
his voice is so soothing, but why do conspiracy nuts always sound like Batman and Robin solving one of Riddler's puzzles out loud? - fod
no one ever yells worldstar when a pet gets fucked up - dhex
no one ever yells worldstar when a pet gets fucked up - dhex
- the innominate one
- Posts: 12356
- Joined: 17 May 2011, 16:17
- Location: hypertime continuum
Re: Light laffs
"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies." -E Benn
"No shit, Sherlock." -JsubD
"now is the time to go fuck yourself until you die." -dhex
"No shit, Sherlock." -JsubD
"now is the time to go fuck yourself until you die." -dhex
Re: Light laffs
Here's Wyatt's sketch of the ring thief


his voice is so soothing, but why do conspiracy nuts always sound like Batman and Robin solving one of Riddler's puzzles out loud? - fod
no one ever yells worldstar when a pet gets fucked up - dhex
no one ever yells worldstar when a pet gets fucked up - dhex
- the innominate one
- Posts: 12356
- Joined: 17 May 2011, 16:17
- Location: hypertime continuum
Re: Light laffs
"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies." -E Benn
"No shit, Sherlock." -JsubD
"now is the time to go fuck yourself until you die." -dhex
"No shit, Sherlock." -JsubD
"now is the time to go fuck yourself until you die." -dhex
- lunchstealer
- Posts: 16378
- Joined: 26 Apr 2010, 17:25
- Location: The Local Fluff in the Local Bubble
Re: Light laffs
Then the dipshit Airman was all "What about Festivus!"
He listed his grievances.
That Airman's name... was SENATOR RAND PAUL!
Then everybody got high and started going on about the Aquabuddha.
It got weird.
"The constitution is more of a BDSM agreement with a safe word." - Sandy
"Neoliberalism. Austerity. Booga booga!!!!" - JasonL
"We can't confirm rumors that Lynndie England is in the running to be Gina Haspel's personal aide." - DAR
"Neoliberalism. Austerity. Booga booga!!!!" - JasonL
"We can't confirm rumors that Lynndie England is in the running to be Gina Haspel's personal aide." - DAR
Re: Light laffs
Until they all died of carbon monoxide poisoning from the coal furnace because the senator repealed the regulations.lunchstealer wrote: ↑23 Dec 2017, 01:05Then the dipshit Airman was all "What about Festivus!"
He listed his grievances.
That Airman's name... was SENATOR RAND PAUL!
Then everybody got high and started going on about the Aquabuddha.
It got weird.
THIS SPACE FOR RENT
Re: Light laffs
Not Marine Todd! He punched the carbon monoxide and said "This is from God and the US Marine Corps!" And then they had breathable air.Warren wrote:Until they all died of carbon monoxide poisoning from the coal furnace because the senator repealed the regulations.lunchstealer wrote: ↑23 Dec 2017, 01:05Then the dipshit Airman was all "What about Festivus!"
He listed his grievances.
That Airman's name... was SENATOR RAND PAUL!
Then everybody got high and started going on about the Aquabuddha.
It got weird.
"just build a quantum foam wall and make the tardigrades pay for it."
--Hugh
--Hugh
Re: Light laffs
Moore: “Hello?”
Yahweh: “Hello, Roy. It’s THE LORD.”
Moore: “Who?”
Yahweh: “You know. Yahweh. Jehovah. The Almighty.”
Moore: “Who you talkin’ about?”
Yahweh: *Sigh gusts across the Cosmos* “It’s GOD, you twat!”
Moore: “Are you puttin’ me on?”
AN ALMIGHTY CRACK OF THUNDER SHAKES THE WHOLE OF ALABAMA
Yahweh: “I AM THAT I AM.”
Moore: “You don’t sound like Chuck Heston.”
Yahweh: “Morgan Freeman’s got the job now.”
Moore: “But he’s a n-“
AN ALMIGHTY CRACK OF THUNDER SHAKES THE WHOLE OF ALABAMA, interrupting Moore.
Yahweh: “That word offends me, Roy.”
Moore: “Why, Lord?”
Yahweh: “Because I love all my children, Roy.”
Moore: “Even Hillary Clinton?”
Yahweh: *Sigh gusts across the Cosmos* “Sometimes, it’s hard. But even Hillary Clinton. Even Vladimir Putin. Even, so help me, Christopher Hitchens."
Moore: “But he’s dead.”
Yahweh: “He is? Damn, I wonder why he hasn’t showed up.”
Moore: “He probably went to Hell, Lord. Like all the unbelievers.”
AN ALMIGHTY CRACK OF THUNDER SHAKES THE WHOLE OF ALABAMA
Yahweh: “THERE IS NO HELL, ROY.”
Moore: “Why would you want him in Heaven, Lord?”
Yahweh: “Because he used his brain, Roy.” (Soft voice) "Unlike some former judges I know."
Moore: “But he denied your creation, Lord.”
Yahweh: “No. He celebrated my creation.”
Moore: “But the Bible says….”
Yahweh: “I know what the Bible says, Roy. Have you ever tried to explain something to a Bronze age mind?” (Soft voice) "Like I’m doing right now."
Moore: “So how did the world begin, Lord.”
Yahweh: “13,778,263,929 years ago, on October 23rd, I caused a macroscopic fluctuation in the quantum field….”
Moore: “Huh?”
Yahweh: “Forget it, Roy. It would take ETERNITY to explain it to you.”
Moore: “Okay, Lord. So, why you callin’?”
Yahweh: “I want you to stop, Roy.”
Moore: “Stop what, Lord?”
Yahweh: “I want you to stop saying I want you to be the Senator from Alabama.”
Moore: (Sounds disappointed.) “You don’t, Lord?”
Yahweh: *Sigh gusts across the Cosmos* “I do not take sides, Roy. I gave you all Free Will. I don’t interfere.”
Moore: “But Lord, all your miracles and angels and all that. Don’t you care?”
Yahweh: (Mutters) "Even the Bronze Age minds were better than this." “I care, Roy. I love you all. But I want you to do it on your own.”
Moore: (Slightly huffy) “If that’s the case, why do you care what I say, Lord?”
Yahweh: “Because it makes me look like a buffoon, Roy.”
Moore: “What do you mean, Lord.”
Yahweh: “Got your Bible handy, Roy?”
Moore: “Yes, Lord. It’s always with me. Right next to my heart.”
Yahweh: *Sigh* “Open it to Genesis, Chapter 20, Verse 7.”
*Sound of pages turning*
Moore: “Got it, Lord.”
Yahweh: “Read what it says, Roy.”
Moore: “ ’Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain’ ”
Yahweh: “Exactly, Roy. I do not like my name being used that way.”
Moore: “You mean I been blaspheming, Lord?”
Yahweh: “You are currently in second place in the world standings.”
Moore: “Who’s number one?”
Yahweh: “Kent Hovind.”
Moore: “So what you want me to do, Lord.”
Yahweh: “Whatever you like, Roy. Just stop using my name.”
Moore: “Okay, Lord. I’ll do that, Lord. Anything else Lord?”
Yahweh: “No, that’s all, Roy. Bye for now.”
Moore: “Well, I’m getting’ on in years, Lord. I suppose I’ll be seeing you soon.”
Yahweh: “For you, Roy, I’m going to break my ‘no miracles’ rule. You’re going to live longer than Methuselah.”
Moore: “Why thank you, Lord.”
Yahweh: “I’m doing it for myself, Roy. Goodbye.”
Moore: “Thanks for calling, Lord. I love ya.”
*Dial Tone*
Yahweh: “Hello, Roy. It’s THE LORD.”
Moore: “Who?”
Yahweh: “You know. Yahweh. Jehovah. The Almighty.”
Moore: “Who you talkin’ about?”
Yahweh: *Sigh gusts across the Cosmos* “It’s GOD, you twat!”
Moore: “Are you puttin’ me on?”
AN ALMIGHTY CRACK OF THUNDER SHAKES THE WHOLE OF ALABAMA
Yahweh: “I AM THAT I AM.”
Moore: “You don’t sound like Chuck Heston.”
Yahweh: “Morgan Freeman’s got the job now.”
Moore: “But he’s a n-“
AN ALMIGHTY CRACK OF THUNDER SHAKES THE WHOLE OF ALABAMA, interrupting Moore.
Yahweh: “That word offends me, Roy.”
Moore: “Why, Lord?”
Yahweh: “Because I love all my children, Roy.”
Moore: “Even Hillary Clinton?”
Yahweh: *Sigh gusts across the Cosmos* “Sometimes, it’s hard. But even Hillary Clinton. Even Vladimir Putin. Even, so help me, Christopher Hitchens."
Moore: “But he’s dead.”
Yahweh: “He is? Damn, I wonder why he hasn’t showed up.”
Moore: “He probably went to Hell, Lord. Like all the unbelievers.”
AN ALMIGHTY CRACK OF THUNDER SHAKES THE WHOLE OF ALABAMA
Yahweh: “THERE IS NO HELL, ROY.”
Moore: “Why would you want him in Heaven, Lord?”
Yahweh: “Because he used his brain, Roy.” (Soft voice) "Unlike some former judges I know."
Moore: “But he denied your creation, Lord.”
Yahweh: “No. He celebrated my creation.”
Moore: “But the Bible says….”
Yahweh: “I know what the Bible says, Roy. Have you ever tried to explain something to a Bronze age mind?” (Soft voice) "Like I’m doing right now."
Moore: “So how did the world begin, Lord.”
Yahweh: “13,778,263,929 years ago, on October 23rd, I caused a macroscopic fluctuation in the quantum field….”
Moore: “Huh?”
Yahweh: “Forget it, Roy. It would take ETERNITY to explain it to you.”
Moore: “Okay, Lord. So, why you callin’?”
Yahweh: “I want you to stop, Roy.”
Moore: “Stop what, Lord?”
Yahweh: “I want you to stop saying I want you to be the Senator from Alabama.”
Moore: (Sounds disappointed.) “You don’t, Lord?”
Yahweh: *Sigh gusts across the Cosmos* “I do not take sides, Roy. I gave you all Free Will. I don’t interfere.”
Moore: “But Lord, all your miracles and angels and all that. Don’t you care?”
Yahweh: (Mutters) "Even the Bronze Age minds were better than this." “I care, Roy. I love you all. But I want you to do it on your own.”
Moore: (Slightly huffy) “If that’s the case, why do you care what I say, Lord?”
Yahweh: “Because it makes me look like a buffoon, Roy.”
Moore: “What do you mean, Lord.”
Yahweh: “Got your Bible handy, Roy?”
Moore: “Yes, Lord. It’s always with me. Right next to my heart.”
Yahweh: *Sigh* “Open it to Genesis, Chapter 20, Verse 7.”
*Sound of pages turning*
Moore: “Got it, Lord.”
Yahweh: “Read what it says, Roy.”
Moore: “ ’Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain’ ”
Yahweh: “Exactly, Roy. I do not like my name being used that way.”
Moore: “You mean I been blaspheming, Lord?”
Yahweh: “You are currently in second place in the world standings.”
Moore: “Who’s number one?”
Yahweh: “Kent Hovind.”
Moore: “So what you want me to do, Lord.”
Yahweh: “Whatever you like, Roy. Just stop using my name.”
Moore: “Okay, Lord. I’ll do that, Lord. Anything else Lord?”
Yahweh: “No, that’s all, Roy. Bye for now.”
Moore: “Well, I’m getting’ on in years, Lord. I suppose I’ll be seeing you soon.”
Yahweh: “For you, Roy, I’m going to break my ‘no miracles’ rule. You’re going to live longer than Methuselah.”
Moore: “Why thank you, Lord.”
Yahweh: “I’m doing it for myself, Roy. Goodbye.”
Moore: “Thanks for calling, Lord. I love ya.”
*Dial Tone*
If Trump supporters wanted a tough guy, why did they elect such a whiny bitch? - Mo
Those who know history are doomed to deja vu. - the innominate one
Never bring a knife to a joke fight" - dhex
Those who know history are doomed to deja vu. - the innominate one
Never bring a knife to a joke fight" - dhex
- Eric the .5b
- Posts: 12814
- Joined: 26 Apr 2010, 16:29
Re: Light laffs

"Better that ten guilty persons escape than that one innocent suffer."
"Cyberpunk never really gave the government enough credit for their ability to secure a favorable prenup during the Corporate-State wedding." - Shem
"Cyberpunk never really gave the government enough credit for their ability to secure a favorable prenup during the Corporate-State wedding." - Shem
- dead_elvis
- Posts: 1006
- Joined: 01 May 2010, 15:26
Re: Light laffs
This reminds me of another Light Laff that's a favorite of mine:Aresen wrote: ↑29 Dec 2017, 00:44
Yahweh: *Sigh gusts across the Cosmos* “Sometimes, it’s hard. But even Hillary Clinton. Even Vladimir Putin. Even, so help me, Christopher Hitchens."
Moore: “But he’s dead.”
Yahweh: “He is? Damn, I wonder why he hasn’t showed up.”
Moore: “He probably went to Hell, Lord. Like all the unbelievers.”
AN ALMIGHTY CRACK OF THUNDER SHAKES THE WHOLE OF ALABAMA
"Never forget: a war on undocumented immigrants by necessity is a war on all of our freedoms of association and movement."
Re: Light laffs
Most amusing. Much lulz.dead_elvis wrote: ↑29 Dec 2017, 12:03This reminds me of another Light Laff that's a favorite of mine:Aresen wrote: ↑29 Dec 2017, 00:44
Yahweh: *Sigh gusts across the Cosmos* “Sometimes, it’s hard. But even Hillary Clinton. Even Vladimir Putin. Even, so help me, Christopher Hitchens."
Moore: “But he’s dead.”
Yahweh: “He is? Damn, I wonder why he hasn’t showed up.”
Moore: “He probably went to Hell, Lord. Like all the unbelievers.”
AN ALMIGHTY CRACK OF THUNDER SHAKES THE WHOLE OF ALABAMA
THIS SPACE FOR RENT
Re: Light laffs
Brilliant. But I'd take the cream cake.dead_elvis wrote: ↑29 Dec 2017, 12:03This reminds me of another Light Laff that's a favorite of mine:
If Trump supporters wanted a tough guy, why did they elect such a whiny bitch? - Mo
Those who know history are doomed to deja vu. - the innominate one
Never bring a knife to a joke fight" - dhex
Those who know history are doomed to deja vu. - the innominate one
Never bring a knife to a joke fight" - dhex
- Sandy
- Posts: 9984
- Joined: 26 Apr 2010, 18:03
- Location: In the hearts of little children, clogging their arteries.
Re: Light laffs
Ditto, and I'd also be happy that it was other people able to see clearly who I'd be around with for eternity, not fealtybots.
Hindu is the cricket of religions. You can observe it for years, you can have enthusiasts try to explain it to you, and it's still baffling. - Warren
Light laffs
Perfect way to end 2017.

Last edited by Mo on 29 Dec 2017, 20:11, edited 1 time in total.
his voice is so soothing, but why do conspiracy nuts always sound like Batman and Robin solving one of Riddler's puzzles out loud? - fod
no one ever yells worldstar when a pet gets fucked up - dhex
no one ever yells worldstar when a pet gets fucked up - dhex
Re: Light laffs
Fixed
his voice is so soothing, but why do conspiracy nuts always sound like Batman and Robin solving one of Riddler's puzzles out loud? - fod
no one ever yells worldstar when a pet gets fucked up - dhex
no one ever yells worldstar when a pet gets fucked up - dhex
- the innominate one
- Posts: 12356
- Joined: 17 May 2011, 16:17
- Location: hypertime continuum
Re: Light laffs
Good news, since SMOD isn't going to be here any time soon.
"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies." -E Benn
"No shit, Sherlock." -JsubD
"now is the time to go fuck yourself until you die." -dhex
"No shit, Sherlock." -JsubD
"now is the time to go fuck yourself until you die." -dhex
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