Light laffs

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thoreau
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Re: Light laffs

Post by thoreau » 14 Jan 2018, 02:02

I don't normally post year-old stories from Fox News, but this is too awesome to let go unremarked:

Krispy Kreme employee wrote "Black Lives Matter" on a cop's box of doughnuts.

"ike Wile E. Coyote salivating over a "4000 Ways To Prepare Roadrunner" cookbook without watching his surroundings, the Road Runner of Societal Inertia snuck up on them both and beepbeeped them off the mesa."
--Shem

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Warren
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Re: Light laffs

Post by Warren » 14 Jan 2018, 02:42

thoreau wrote:
14 Jan 2018, 02:02
Krispy Kreme employee wrote "Black Lives Matter" on a cop's box of doughnuts.
"As a company, we value every customer and are committed to upholding our brand standards and delivering a superior customer experience. We have opened an investigation into the matter and will take whatever steps necessary to ensure the values of our company are upheld," the statement read.
Uh huh. And what company value is it your investigation seeks to protect?
Fuck DST sideways with a splintery fence post. - JD

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Andrew
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Re: Light laffs

Post by Andrew » 14 Jan 2018, 06:22

Warren wrote:
14 Jan 2018, 02:42
Uh huh. And what company value is it your investigation seeks to protect?
"Don't piss off our biggest group of customers. Who also happen to be the King's Men."
We live in the fucked age. Get used to it. - dhex

The sun only shines when a woman is being sexually abused. - Warren

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Warren
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Re: Light laffs

Post by Warren » 14 Jan 2018, 11:11

Andrew wrote:
14 Jan 2018, 06:22
Warren wrote:
14 Jan 2018, 02:42
Uh huh. And what company value is it your investigation seeks to protect?
"Don't piss off our biggest group of customers. Who also happen to be the King's Men."
Oh right. I think I read that in the Employee Handbook.
Fuck DST sideways with a splintery fence post. - JD

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Mo
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Re: Light laffs

Post by Mo » 14 Jan 2018, 23:42

Image
his voice is so soothing, but why do conspiracy nuts always sound like Batman and Robin solving one of Riddler's puzzles out loud? - fod

no one ever yells worldstar when a pet gets fucked up - dhex

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Taktix®
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Re: Light laffs

Post by Taktix® » 17 Jan 2018, 01:19

Image
"Guilty as charged. Go ahead and ban me from the mall." - Ellie

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Ellie
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Re: Light laffs

Post by Ellie » 17 Jan 2018, 09:03

Hahahahaha!
"NB stands for nota bene do not @ me" - nicole

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JasonL
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Re: Light laffs

Post by JasonL » 17 Jan 2018, 09:17

haha!

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Dangerman
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Re: Light laffs

Post by Dangerman » 17 Jan 2018, 10:41

Maybe he was trying to view an embedded Twitter link?

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Warren
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Re: Light laffs

Post by Warren » 18 Jan 2018, 02:20

hee
Fuck DST sideways with a splintery fence post. - JD

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dead_elvis
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Re: Light laffs

Post by dead_elvis » 18 Jan 2018, 13:08

I find it amusing that at the moment an old game I'm playing asks you "are you sure? Y/N" just to *start playing the game*. Really, you think telling a whole state they're going to die needs less failsafe than a friggin' Andy Capp simulator.
"Never forget: a war on undocumented immigrants by necessity is a war on all of our freedoms of association and movement."

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Sandy
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Re: Light laffs

Post by Sandy » 18 Jan 2018, 14:25

Hindu is the cricket of religions. You can observe it for years, you can have enthusiasts try to explain it to you, and it's still baffling. - Warren

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lunchstealer
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Re: Light laffs

Post by lunchstealer » 18 Jan 2018, 14:42

Gateway Pundit? Really?
"The constitution is more of a BDSM agreement with a safe word." - Sandy

"Neoliberalism. Austerity. Booga booga!!!!" - JasonL

"We can't confirm rumors that Lynndie England is in the running to be Gina Haspel's personal aide." - DAR

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Sandy
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Re: Light laffs

Post by Sandy » 18 Jan 2018, 15:39

lunchstealer wrote:
18 Jan 2018, 14:42
Gateway Pundit? Really?
Sometimes you laugh at the link you have, not the link you want to have.
Hindu is the cricket of religions. You can observe it for years, you can have enthusiasts try to explain it to you, and it's still baffling. - Warren

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Mo
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Re: Light laffs

Post by Mo » 18 Jan 2018, 20:37

his voice is so soothing, but why do conspiracy nuts always sound like Batman and Robin solving one of Riddler's puzzles out loud? - fod

no one ever yells worldstar when a pet gets fucked up - dhex

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Taktix®
Posts: 7765
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Location: The Caribbean

Re: Light laffs

Post by Taktix® » 20 Jan 2018, 20:43

Image
"Guilty as charged. Go ahead and ban me from the mall." - Ellie

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Warren
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Re: Light laffs

Post by Warren » 20 Jan 2018, 20:50

The locks only slowed them down.
Fuck DST sideways with a splintery fence post. - JD

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Eric the .5b
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Re: Light laffs

Post by Eric the .5b » 22 Jan 2018, 20:37

When you use that Harry Potter and the Portrait of What Looked Like a Large Pile of Ash predictive text silliness on Fire and Fury and the MacDonald's menu:

Image
"Better that ten guilty persons escape than that one innocent suffer."
"Cyberpunk never really gave the government enough credit for their ability to secure a favorable prenup during the Corporate-State wedding." - Shem

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dead_elvis
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Re: Light laffs

Post by dead_elvis » 30 Jan 2018, 16:51

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. In some languages though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However," he pointed out, "there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative." A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."
"Never forget: a war on undocumented immigrants by necessity is a war on all of our freedoms of association and movement."

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the innominate one
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Re: Light laffs

Post by the innominate one » 01 Feb 2018, 03:40

"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies." -E Benn

"No shit, Sherlock." -JsubD

"now is the time to go fuck yourself until you die." -dhex

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dead_elvis
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Re: Light laffs

Post by dead_elvis » 01 Feb 2018, 15:52

2fed5deef49a9741f488c505531f515f6b475fdf_hq.jpg
2fed5deef49a9741f488c505531f515f6b475fdf_hq.jpg (87.92 KiB) Viewed 695 times
"Never forget: a war on undocumented immigrants by necessity is a war on all of our freedoms of association and movement."

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Eric the .5b
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Re: Light laffs

Post by Eric the .5b » 01 Feb 2018, 17:55

Fuckin' anything becomes a GWR anymore.
"Better that ten guilty persons escape than that one innocent suffer."
"Cyberpunk never really gave the government enough credit for their ability to secure a favorable prenup during the Corporate-State wedding." - Shem

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dhex
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Re: Light laffs

Post by dhex » 02 Feb 2018, 07:52

they misspelled "die alone and unloved award" really hard there
"I do wear my New Balance tennis shoes when I'm wearing cargo shorts, though, because truth in advertising." - lunch

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the innominate one
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Re: Light laffs

Post by the innominate one » 02 Feb 2018, 09:20

"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies." -E Benn

"No shit, Sherlock." -JsubD

"now is the time to go fuck yourself until you die." -dhex

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Sandy
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Location: In the hearts of little children, clogging their arteries.

Re: Light laffs

Post by Sandy » 02 Feb 2018, 09:34

dhex wrote:
02 Feb 2018, 07:52
they misspelled "die alone and unloved award" really hard there
It's the story where his version of the doctor dies, so...yeah.
Hindu is the cricket of religions. You can observe it for years, you can have enthusiasts try to explain it to you, and it's still baffling. - Warren

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