Towing the Lion

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dhex
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Re: Towing the Lion

Post by dhex » 25 Nov 2016, 18:24

Ellie wrote:Seen on Facebook: "I know [this advice] is quiche, but follow your heart."
use less cheese?
"I do wear my New Balance tennis shoes when I'm wearing cargo shorts, though, because truth in advertising." - lunch

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thoreau
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Re: Towing the Lion

Post by thoreau » 29 Nov 2016, 16:39

From a student's report on a class project:
The particles also excerpt a force on one another...
Don't worry, Warren, I'll still give you a good grade.
"ike Wile E. Coyote salivating over a "4000 Ways To Prepare Roadrunner" cookbook without watching his surroundings, the Road Runner of Societal Inertia snuck up on them both and beepbeeped them off the mesa."
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Kolohe
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Re: Towing the Lion

Post by Kolohe » 29 Nov 2016, 17:25

thoreau wrote:From a student's report on a class project:
The particles also excerpt a force on one another...
Don't worry, Warren, I'll still give you a good grade.
As long as they footnoted correctly.
when you wake up as the queen of the n=1 kingdom and mount your steed non sequiturius, do you look out upon all you survey and think “damn, it feels good to be a green idea sleeping furiously?" - dhex

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Ellie
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Re: Towing the Lion

Post by Ellie » 23 Feb 2017, 13:57

We received an application for a custodial position that displays everything from the mundanely ungrammatical ("I seen the job posted on the website") to the simply inexplicable ("Education: High school diploma in Wrestler") but my personal favorite part is where he lists his job "duty's" as a security guard as "Ensure public safety; costumer service."
"NB stands for nota bene do not @ me" - nicole

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D.A. Ridgely
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Re: Towing the Lion

Post by D.A. Ridgely » 23 Feb 2017, 14:21

Ellie wrote:We received an application for a custodial position that displays everything from the mundanely ungrammatical ("I seen the job posted on the website") to the simply inexplicable ("Education: High school diploma in Wrestler") but my personal favorite part is where he lists his job "duty's" as a security guard as "Ensure public safety; costumer service."
Though not a lion tow, sadly related is the uncertain, nearly nonexistent grasp of rudimentary grammar and spelling I see in posts from a number of my stand up comedy friends. It's not a matter of texting abbreviations or such, it's unfailingly getting homophones such as their/they're/there wrong, "John and me went" sometimes in the same comment that contains "gave it to John and I." You name it, if it's a glaring error, I've probably read it in a comment.

Of course, a big advantage of stand up is that spelling doesn't count and jokes are constructed to best get laughs, not to get the best grade in English. Seeing it in print with those sorts of errors, however, just negates the humor and, in fact, demonstrates near illiteracy. This is especially disturbing because not only are all of these people high school graduates, many of them have at least a year of two of college.

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Aresen
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Re: Towing the Lion

Post by Aresen » 23 Feb 2017, 15:09

D.A. Ridgely wrote:This is especially disturbing because not only are all of these people high school graduates, many of them have at least a year of two of college collage.
To rephrase it with a currently common and appropriate (if you think about it) malapropism.
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Jasper
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Re: Towing the Lion

Post by Jasper » 23 Feb 2017, 16:01

Aresen wrote:
D.A. Ridgely wrote:This is especially disturbing because not only are all of these people high school graduates, many of them have at least a year of two of college collage.
To rephrase it with a currently common and appropriate (if you think about it) malapropism.
You crafty bastard.
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Dangerman
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Re: Towing the Lion

Post by Dangerman » 24 Mar 2017, 13:56

Let's keep up the momentum and make this the fist of many celebrations!!

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JD
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Re: Towing the Lion

Post by JD » 24 Mar 2017, 14:16

A coworker, during a conversation about authentication and authorization, repeatedly referred to "authication" and "authoration".
"Millennials are lazy. They'd rather have avocado toast than cave in a man's skull with a tire iron!" -FFF

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Kolohe
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Re: Towing the Lion

Post by Kolohe » 24 Mar 2017, 14:21

Dangerman wrote:
Let's keep up the momentum and make this the fist of many celebrations!!
That's pretty much the essence of Nazi punching, no?
when you wake up as the queen of the n=1 kingdom and mount your steed non sequiturius, do you look out upon all you survey and think “damn, it feels good to be a green idea sleeping furiously?" - dhex

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Andrew
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Re: Towing the Lion

Post by Andrew » 24 Mar 2017, 15:39

Dangerman wrote:
Let's keep up the momentum and make this the fist of many celebrations!!
The Spear of Destiny, the Shroud of Turin, and the Fist of Many Celebrations.
We live in the fucked age. Get used to it. - dhex

The sun only shines when a woman is being sexually abused. - Warren

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JasonL
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Re: Towing the Lion

Post by JasonL » 24 Mar 2017, 15:41

The Fist of Many Celebrations can be lethally countered by Drunken Monkey.

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Warren
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Re: Towing the Lion

Post by Warren » 24 Mar 2017, 17:12

JasonL wrote:The Fist of Many Celebrations can be lethally countered by Drunken Monkey.
you lost me
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dhex
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Re: Towing the Lion

Post by dhex » 24 Mar 2017, 18:29

JasonL wrote:The Fist of Many Celebrations can be lethally countered by Drunken Monkey.
I've never been able to get the thumb right.
"I do wear my New Balance tennis shoes when I'm wearing cargo shorts, though, because truth in advertising." - lunch

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pistoffnick
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Re: Towing the Lion

Post by pistoffnick » 17 Apr 2017, 13:49

Image
Always be suspicious of people who have, or crave, power. - Stanley Kubrick
"Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under." - H.L. Mencken
"The welfare of humanity is always the alibi of tyrants." - Albert Camus

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Re: Towing the Lion

Post by Warren » 17 Apr 2017, 14:29

pistoffnick wrote:Image
Well you got to admit, buglery is an insectious problem.
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JD
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Re: Towing the Lion

Post by JD » 17 Apr 2017, 14:37

I always thought that if buglers were operating in your area, you'd know it right away. Could be worse, though - you could have an infestation of banjo players.
"Millennials are lazy. They'd rather have avocado toast than cave in a man's skull with a tire iron!" -FFF

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Aresen
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Re: Towing the Lion

Post by Aresen » 17 Apr 2017, 16:37

JD wrote:I always thought that if buglers were operating in your area, you'd know it right away. Could be worse, though - you could have an infestation of banjo players.
Or a group of low-down bassists.
If Trump supporters wanted a tough guy, why did they elect such a whiny bitch? - Mo

Those who know history are doomed to deja vu. - the innominate one

Never bring a knife to a joke fight" - dhex

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Ellie
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Re: Towing the Lion

Post by Ellie » 18 Apr 2017, 18:09

No, Google voice-to-text, that's not what I said I did for a workout. Jesus Christ.
Screenshot_2017-04-17-20-34-51.png
Screenshot_2017-04-17-20-34-51.png (97.72 KiB) Viewed 1149 times
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Warren
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Re: Towing the Lion

Post by Warren » 18 Apr 2017, 18:11

Ellie wrote:No, Google voice-to-text, that's not what I said I did for a workout. Jesus Christ.
Screenshot_2017-04-17-20-34-51.png
Are you sure? Sounds like something you'd say.
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Andrew
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Re: Towing the Lion

Post by Andrew » 18 Apr 2017, 18:11

That gives me an excellent idea for a series of workout program videos...
We live in the fucked age. Get used to it. - dhex

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dhex
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Re: Towing the Lion

Post by dhex » 18 Apr 2017, 18:13

Welcome to Google voice... After dark
"I do wear my New Balance tennis shoes when I'm wearing cargo shorts, though, because truth in advertising." - lunch

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Ellie
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Re: Towing the Lion

Post by Ellie » 18 Apr 2017, 18:21

Warren wrote:
Ellie wrote:No, Google voice-to-text, that's not what I said I did for a workout. Jesus Christ.
Screenshot_2017-04-17-20-34-51.png
Are you sure? Sounds like something you'd say.
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Aresen
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Re: Towing the Lion

Post by Aresen » 29 Apr 2017, 19:39

the piece of resistance
here (Warning: Clickbait)

I suppose we should be grateful it wasn't 'peace of resistance'.
If Trump supporters wanted a tough guy, why did they elect such a whiny bitch? - Mo

Those who know history are doomed to deja vu. - the innominate one

Never bring a knife to a joke fight" - dhex

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lunchstealer
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Re: Towing the Lion

Post by lunchstealer » 01 May 2017, 10:37

Aresen wrote:
the piece of resistance
here (Warning: Clickbait)

I suppose we should be grateful it wasn't 'peace of resistance'.
Also, "...which begs the questions?"

Especially when followed by a single question?
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