Worthwhile intertubez finds

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Pham Nuwen
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Re: Worthwhile intertubez finds

Post by Pham Nuwen » 14 Jun 2018, 01:36

Seriously. That is a work of art.
Goddamn libertarian message board. Hugh Akston

leave me to my mescaline smoothie in peace, please. dhex

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Eric the .5b
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Re: Worthwhile intertubez finds

Post by Eric the .5b » 14 Jun 2018, 02:36

Meh. I preferred Friedersdorf's version, "Non-Libertarian Police Department":
I was just finishing up my shift by having sex with a prostitute when I got a call about an opportunity for overtime. A no-knock raid was going down across town.

"You're trying to have your salary spike this year to game the pension system, right?" my buddy told me. "Well, we're raiding a house where an informant says there's marijuana, and it's going to be awesome—we've got a $283,ooo military-grade armored SWAT truck and the kind of flash grenades that literally scared that one guy to death."

"Don't start without me," I told him. "I just have to stop by this pawn shop. It's run by some friends of mine from ATF. They paid this mentally disabled teenager $150 dollars to get a neck tattoo of a giant squid smoking a joint. Those guys are hilarious."

But when I got to the shop the guys weren't in any mood to joke around—something about having lost their guns again. That meant I had extra time to get to the raid. En route, I headed through a black and Latino neighborhood, and who did I see on the street? A teenage male who made what I would describe as a furtive movement.

So I threw him against a wall and frisked him. Then I realized I'd frisked the same kid a half-dozen times before. Never found anything. About 17 years old. Looked like he was mixed race. "What am I being arrested for?" he asked me. "For being a fucking mutt," I told him. "I am going to break your fuckin' arm off right now. Then I'm going to punch you in the face." I know stop-and-frisk is controversial, but it's like Ray Kelly said: "I go to communities of color. People want more." It meant a lot to us police officers when President Obama praised him.

By the time I arrived at the site of the raid it was after dark. Inside, there were the suspects, their kids, and the family dogs. We don't like to wait for suspects of nonviolent drug crimes to leave the house, or call on the phone and ask them to come out, or knock, because what if they flush the drugs we suspect them of having down the toilet? How would we ever win the War on Drugs if we let that happen?

So we go in with overwhelming force and firepower. Kick down the door and all that. Zealousness pays off, too. Just try to find me a free country where they arrest more people.

What happened at the raid?

No drugs found, but we did seize all the couple's cash anyway. Let them try to prove it's legit.

If memory serves, we shot some dogs to death on that raid too. I think it was two puppies, actually: One was 10 months old, and the other was three months old. Or wait. Was that the one where we killed a 9-year-old Labrador with its tail wagging? Shoot, actually, maybe it was the time that we tased and shot the Chihuahua? Man, these all blend together after a while. I know it wasn't the Akita we shot nine times. Or that Iraq War vet's rescue dog we killed. I don't think it was the the Jack Russell terrier or the golden retriever or that dog where the bullet also hit the 5-year-old. The point is that it was just a dog. It isn't like we arbitrarily pepper-sprayed a woman in the face, or shot an 80-year-old man as he lay in his own bed, or killed a mentally ill homeless guy by beating him to death.

Not that there's necessarily anything wrong with that!

Anyway, I won't be going on raids like that anymore. Nope, I'm 50 years old now. So I'll retire, and every month for the rest of my life I'll earn 90 percent of my peak salary—the one I inflated in my last year by working overtime. God bless Gray Davis.

Hey, what's the harm?

Not that my career in law enforcement is over. I'll be double-dipping. The FBI is my first choice. They take care of their own: Every time they've shot anyone since 1993 it's been deemed justified! The DEA could be fun too. I've always hated defense attorneys, so I'd take pleasure in tricking them into thinking we caught their clients one way, when really the information came from a secret, mass-surveillance program. Suckers. Of course, I could also go into the private sector. There's a lot of money to be made tracking the movements of millions of people, and then selling the information back to my former colleagues or to the highest bidder. Not that the license-plate-scanning business is a sure thing, what with surveillance drones on the horizon. I'd operate one. Especially once they start arming them! Anything but working as a guard or staff member in a juvenile prison.

Even I have my limits.
(All the links to news stories about cops doing every single thing described there omitted.)
"Better that ten guilty persons escape than that one innocent suffer."
"Cyberpunk never really gave the government enough credit for their ability to secure a favorable prenup during the Corporate-State wedding." - Shem

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dhex
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Re: Worthwhile intertubez finds

Post by dhex » 14 Jun 2018, 07:12

Home depot presents the police is a good line, tho.
"I do wear my New Balance tennis shoes when I'm wearing cargo shorts, though, because truth in advertising." - lunch

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Ellie
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Re: Worthwhile intertubez finds

Post by Ellie » 14 Jun 2018, 10:49

The mailbox part is my favorite.
"NB stands for nota bene do not @ me" - nicole

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JD
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Re: Worthwhile intertubez finds

Post by JD » 14 Jun 2018, 15:26

A sobering and worthwhile read about the psychological toll of being a military drone operator: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/06/13/maga ... ounds.html
"Millennials are lazy. They'd rather have avocado toast than cave in a man's skull with a tire iron!" -FFF

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Eric the .5b
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Re: Worthwhile intertubez finds

Post by Eric the .5b » 14 Jun 2018, 16:15

dhex wrote:
14 Jun 2018, 07:12
Home depot presents the police is a good line, tho.
After dealing with someone yesterday who was all frothy about how people like me are just trying to destroy child labor laws and other shit in hopes we can strike it rich (I guess by putting my preschooler nephews to work on this web app project?), I just don't have any patience left for Blues masturbating about what they imagine that I want.
"Better that ten guilty persons escape than that one innocent suffer."
"Cyberpunk never really gave the government enough credit for their ability to secure a favorable prenup during the Corporate-State wedding." - Shem

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Eric the .5b
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Re: Worthwhile intertubez finds

Post by Eric the .5b » 14 Jun 2018, 16:22

JD wrote:
14 Jun 2018, 15:26
A sobering and worthwhile read about the psychological toll of being a military drone operator: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/06/13/maga ... ounds.html
Oh, yeah. The guys who call children caught in their strikes "fun-sized terrorists".

To use an old meme:

Image


(Yes, it's a well-done story, but it basically reduces dead foreigners to things that traumatize our people.)
"Better that ten guilty persons escape than that one innocent suffer."
"Cyberpunk never really gave the government enough credit for their ability to secure a favorable prenup during the Corporate-State wedding." - Shem

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Aresen
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Re: Worthwhile intertubez finds

Post by Aresen » 14 Jun 2018, 16:22

JD wrote:
14 Jun 2018, 15:26
A sobering and worthwhile read about the psychological toll of being a military drone operator: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/06/13/maga ... ounds.html
Interesting, but I'm still more interested in how effective it really is.

Also, given the tendency of technology to get cheaper over time, how long before 'Son-of-bin-Laden' is firing drones into US targets?
If Trump supporters wanted a tough guy, why did they elect such a whiny bitch? - Mo

Those who know history are doomed to deja vu. - the innominate one

Never bring a knife to a joke fight" - dhex

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dhex
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Re: Worthwhile intertubez finds

Post by dhex » 14 Jun 2018, 17:15

Eric the .5b wrote:
14 Jun 2018, 16:15
dhex wrote:
14 Jun 2018, 07:12
Home depot presents the police is a good line, tho.
After dealing with someone yesterday who was all frothy about how people like me are just trying to destroy child labor laws and other shit in hopes we can strike it rich (I guess by putting my preschooler nephews to work on this web app project?), I just don't have any patience left for Blues masturbating about what they imagine that I want.
Man Yer hanging out with a dumb group of dopes.
"I do wear my New Balance tennis shoes when I'm wearing cargo shorts, though, because truth in advertising." - lunch

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dhex
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Re: Worthwhile intertubez finds

Post by dhex » 14 Jun 2018, 17:27

"I do wear my New Balance tennis shoes when I'm wearing cargo shorts, though, because truth in advertising." - lunch

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Ellie
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Re: Worthwhile intertubez finds

Post by Ellie » 14 Jun 2018, 17:50

I get that they are all fake but they would never let anyone say "goddamned" on network TV. </humorless pedant>
"NB stands for nota bene do not @ me" - nicole

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dhex
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Re: Worthwhile intertubez finds

Post by dhex » 14 Jun 2018, 18:04

Read the whole thing dude. It's long. Just bought her book for the flight.
"I do wear my New Balance tennis shoes when I'm wearing cargo shorts, though, because truth in advertising." - lunch

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Ellie
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Re: Worthwhile intertubez finds

Post by Ellie » 14 Jun 2018, 18:46

I read a decent chunk -- I see the craft but it's not my cup of tea. I just couldn't help sharing that was the first thing that jumped out at me and drove me nuts even though this is OBVIOUSLY NOT AN ACTUAL TV SHOW. :lol:
"NB stands for nota bene do not @ me" - nicole

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dhex
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Re: Worthwhile intertubez finds

Post by dhex » 14 Jun 2018, 18:51

I went into it thinking it was a comedy piece and didn't expect the pathos.
"I do wear my New Balance tennis shoes when I'm wearing cargo shorts, though, because truth in advertising." - lunch

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Eric the .5b
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Re: Worthwhile intertubez finds

Post by Eric the .5b » 14 Jun 2018, 20:23

dhex wrote:
14 Jun 2018, 17:15
Eric the .5b wrote:
14 Jun 2018, 16:15
dhex wrote:
14 Jun 2018, 07:12
Home depot presents the police is a good line, tho.
After dealing with someone yesterday who was all frothy about how people like me are just trying to destroy child labor laws and other shit in hopes we can strike it rich (I guess by putting my preschooler nephews to work on this web app project?), I just don't have any patience left for Blues masturbating about what they imagine that I want.
Man Yer hanging out with a dumb group of dopes.
It's that kind of planet.
"Better that ten guilty persons escape than that one innocent suffer."
"Cyberpunk never really gave the government enough credit for their ability to secure a favorable prenup during the Corporate-State wedding." - Shem

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Kolohe
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Re: Worthwhile intertubez finds

Post by Kolohe » 14 Jun 2018, 20:28

*applause*
when you wake up as the queen of the n=1 kingdom and mount your steed non sequiturius, do you look out upon all you survey and think “damn, it feels good to be a green idea sleeping furiously?" - dhex

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dhex
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Re: Worthwhile intertubez finds

Post by dhex » 14 Jun 2018, 21:41

Golf clap and all that but for rilla where do you find these guys? Half my friends are antifa sympathizers and you're like besotted by coked out Joe from lol types.
"I do wear my New Balance tennis shoes when I'm wearing cargo shorts, though, because truth in advertising." - lunch

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Eric the .5b
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Re: Worthwhile intertubez finds

Post by Eric the .5b » 15 Jun 2018, 00:02

dhex wrote:
14 Jun 2018, 21:41
Golf clap and all that but for rilla where do you find these guys? Half my friends are antifa sympathizers and you're like besotted by coked out Joe from lol types.
The onlines. If I were talking anything near politics physically, I'd get a few young, snotty Blues who'd make old Uncle Joe look like an intellectual—and a goddamn sea of Reds who are even worse to talk to.

Fuck, it's tiring even just to look.

ETA: Hell, elsewhere some guy started blowing up on me when I (quite gently, and without any of the follow snark) pointed out that his fairy-land idea of "socialism" (that "libertarian communism"/"left-anarchism"/"market socialism" horseshit) was not the same fairy-land idea of "socialism" that Albert Einstein supported (that classic command-economy socialism horseshit, but with democracy and rights).

Someone grab the Brain slider on this planet and turn it the fuck up.
"Better that ten guilty persons escape than that one innocent suffer."
"Cyberpunk never really gave the government enough credit for their ability to secure a favorable prenup during the Corporate-State wedding." - Shem

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Warren
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Re: Worthwhile intertubez finds

Post by Warren » 15 Jun 2018, 09:35

Eric the .5b wrote:
15 Jun 2018, 00:02
dhex wrote:
14 Jun 2018, 21:41
Golf clap and all that but for rilla where do you find these guys? Half my friends are antifa sympathizers and you're like besotted by coked out Joe from lol types.
The onlines. If I were talking anything near politics physically, I'd get a few young, snotty Blues who'd make old Uncle Joe look like an intellectual—and a goddamn sea of Reds who are even worse to talk to.

Fuck, it's tiring even just to look.

ETA: Hell, elsewhere some guy started blowing up on me when I (quite gently, and without any of the follow snark) pointed out that his fairy-land idea of "socialism" (that "libertarian communism"/"left-anarchism"/"market socialism" horseshit) was not the same fairy-land idea of "socialism" that Albert Einstein supported (that classic command-economy socialism horseshit, but with democracy and rights).

Someone grab the Brain slider on this planet and turn it the fuck up.
Really? You want a planet full of competent elitists, bigots, and other assorted assholes?
THIS SPACE FOR RENT

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JasonL
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Re: Worthwhile intertubez finds

Post by JasonL » 15 Jun 2018, 10:28

Brain slider is the worst White Castle menu item.

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Andrew
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Re: Worthwhile intertubez finds

Post by Andrew » 15 Jun 2018, 12:25

JasonL wrote:
15 Jun 2018, 10:28
Brain slider is the worst White Castle menu item.
I'm triggered by your anti-zombie prejudice.
We live in the fucked age. Get used to it. - dhex

The sun only shines when a woman is being sexually abused. - Warren

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JD
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Re: Worthwhile intertubez finds

Post by JD » 15 Jun 2018, 12:59

Kind of a Worthwhile Intertubez Finds/OFFS crossover: How Facebook Groups Became a Bizarre Bazaar for Elephant Tusks

The heart of the story itself is pretty interesting, about how much trading of ivory, tiger claws, etc. there is going on, barely concealed, on Facebook, and how this ties into the larger worldwide trade in illegal animal parts.

The OFFS bit is that some anti-trafficking activists are basically trying to coerce Facebook into doing the legwork for them. Even though they acknowledge that FB itself is not doing the trafficking or directly profiting from it or legally liable for the trafficking itself, they're claiming that FB is guilty of SEC violations, because "some portion of Facebook’s revenue is tied to ads being posted on the News Feeds of criminal gangs doing business via Facebook, it poses a risk to the company’s value." And FB hasn't disclosed that risk in its SEC filings, ergo: violation. That is such a damn stretch it would make Plastic Man jealous.
"Millennials are lazy. They'd rather have avocado toast than cave in a man's skull with a tire iron!" -FFF

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Jasper
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Re: Worthwhile intertubez finds

Post by Jasper » 15 Jun 2018, 13:35

Andrew wrote:
15 Jun 2018, 12:25
JasonL wrote:
15 Jun 2018, 10:28
Brain slider is the worst White Castle menu item.
I'm triggered by your anti-zombie prejudice.
Image
"i'd like to move toward not combusting except on special occasions like arbor day." - dhex

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dbcooper
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Re: Worthwhile intertubez finds

Post by dbcooper » 16 Jun 2018, 09:38

Slip inside a sleeping bag.

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thoreau
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Re: Worthwhile intertubez finds

Post by thoreau » 29 Jun 2018, 17:31

"ike Wile E. Coyote salivating over a "4000 Ways To Prepare Roadrunner" cookbook without watching his surroundings, the Road Runner of Societal Inertia snuck up on them both and beepbeeped them off the mesa."
--Shem

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