Ultramodern relationship problems

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Jennifer
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Ultramodern relationship problems

Post by Jennifer » 11 Nov 2019, 18:18

Here's a Slate article about a brand-new source of potential friction between certain couples: disagreement over whether or not to have cameras and other surveillance equipment throughout your home.

https://slate.com/technology/2019/11/re ... meras.html
Online forums are riddled with an emerging domestic conflict. The man whose wife insisted on a living room camera to keep an eye on the rescue kittens, and then refused to take it down, even once they were all adopted out. The woman whose husband wanted cameras in the house, on top of the ones already outside, for “security,” which made her worried she was being weird for not wanting them. Or the woman whose husband wanted to put security cameras “all through the house 24/7,” prompting her to ask about her legal rights.

Home surveillance systems were once a luxury available only to the wealthy and gadget-obsessed, but they’ve never been cheaper or easier to install, not to mention monitor via an easy smartphone app. But as indoor cameras become increasingly normalized, many couples still disagree over just how “normal” it is to have something recording the domestic sphere. In the interest of security, the camera advocates are making their loved ones feel exactly the opposite....
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Re: Ultramodern relationship problems

Post by Eric the .5b » 11 Nov 2019, 23:16

Yeah, I'm kinda mega-leery of that.



(Yes, that's someone who re-used a pwned password, but lots of people screw this up, and that's all assuming the rest of the security on the camera systems is decent. To which I'll remind you: "IOT" means internet of things, and the "S" stands for security.)
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Re: Ultramodern relationship problems

Post by Jennifer » 11 Nov 2019, 23:41

Given that Jeff tends to be far more technophilic than I am, I was very relieved to learn he and I are 100% on the same page regarding voice-activated devices and other spy-worthy "smart" stuff: no, hell no, nuh-uh. (Some of the links in the original story -- leading to things like quora forums asking for advice on "My spouse and I disagree here," made me want to yell "Get thee hence to a divorce lawyer!")
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Re: Ultramodern relationship problems

Post by Eric the .5b » 12 Nov 2019, 02:31

Jeff always struck me as technophilic and knowledgable, which helps. :D

My phone has the voice assistant on it, but for various reasons, I'm not terribly concerned about being spied on with it.
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Re: Ultramodern relationship problems

Post by Mo » 12 Nov 2019, 07:12

Basically this:

Image
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Re: Ultramodern relationship problems

Post by JD » 12 Nov 2019, 09:38

I like that one, Mo. Yeah, fortunately my wife and I are on the same page about this. I see extremely little benefit to being able to control everything in my house by talking to my television or WTF-ever, and a whole lot of potential downside.
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Re: Ultramodern relationship problems

Post by Andrew » 12 Nov 2019, 09:40

I've pondered building a Faraday cage to keep my phone in at home, so I guess I know which category I'm in.
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Re: Ultramodern relationship problems

Post by Warren » 12 Nov 2019, 10:10

I plug my phone into my car and talk to Siri while driving. We had Alexa a few years ago and I unplugged her. She kept interrupting the TV and we never used her for anything.
I probably would embrace connecting Lights, cameras, thermostat, etc. to the IOT. But it just isn't going to happen any time soon. Even if I did, I wouldn't want to talk to it. I'd want an app and a URL.
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Re: Ultramodern relationship problems

Post by Aresen » 12 Nov 2019, 11:22

Team trogloMo.
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Re: Ultramodern relationship problems

Post by Ellie » 12 Nov 2019, 11:25

Warren wrote:
12 Nov 2019, 10:10
Even if I did, I wouldn't want to talk to it. I'd want an app and a URL.
Team Warren! Any fears I have about smart devices aside, I could never use an Alexa or Google Home because I refuse to have to verbally ask for whatever I want. It's bad enough that you have to do that on phone calls instead of getting to press 1 for foo and 2 for bar.

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Re: Ultramodern relationship problems

Post by Jasper » 13 Nov 2019, 15:26

I'm intrigued by the idea of a somewhat automated house. Voice activation could be cool if it wasn't tied into the IOT. But I'm lazy, so *shug*.

A friend of mine is a tinkerer and wired up his house and chicken coop using Raspberry Pi devices, which I don't think need IOT access. Stuff like automated water and doors for the coop. Flashing kitchen lights when the washing machine is done becasue they can't hear the buzzer. little stuff like that.

In other ultramodern relationship BS - I saw tweet the other day juxtaposing two trends the xenials (is that right? The kids these days are xenials?) are dealing with: 1) Asking someone out on a date, face to face, is considered rude and aggressive and a total social no-no nowadays, and 2) a young woman posting about saying "nice dog" to a guy on Tinder and getting a gross, rapey response back, which is apparently typical.
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Re: Ultramodern relationship problems

Post by Warren » 13 Nov 2019, 15:35

Jasper wrote:
13 Nov 2019, 15:26
1) Asking someone out on a date, face to face, is considered rude and aggressive and a total social no-no nowadays
With you.
Jasper wrote:
13 Nov 2019, 15:26
2) a young woman posting about saying "nice dog" to a guy on Tinder and getting a gross, rapey response back, which is apparently typical.
You lost me.
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Re: Ultramodern relationship problems

Post by Ellie » 13 Nov 2019, 15:41

Warren wrote:
13 Nov 2019, 15:35
2) a young woman posting about saying "nice dog" to a guy on Tinder and getting a gross, rapey response back, which is apparently typical.
You lost me.
https://twitter.com/sheratesdogs has some prime examples of this.
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Re: Ultramodern relationship problems

Post by Warren » 13 Nov 2019, 15:46

Ellie wrote:
13 Nov 2019, 15:41
Warren wrote:
13 Nov 2019, 15:35
2) a young woman posting about saying "nice dog" to a guy on Tinder and getting a gross, rapey response back, which is apparently typical.
You lost me.
https://twitter.com/sheratesdogs has some prime examples of this.
I can't follow that either.
Is "nice dog" an insult? And that prompts the gross replies?
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Re: Ultramodern relationship problems

Post by Hugh Akston » 13 Nov 2019, 15:53

Warren wrote:
13 Nov 2019, 15:46
Ellie wrote:
13 Nov 2019, 15:41
Warren wrote:
13 Nov 2019, 15:35
2) a young woman posting about saying "nice dog" to a guy on Tinder and getting a gross, rapey response back, which is apparently typical.
You lost me.
https://twitter.com/sheratesdogs has some prime examples of this.
I can't follow that either.
Is "nice dog" an insult? And that prompts the gross replies?
Dude has a pic of himself with his dog on his Tinder profile > Lady messages him saying 'nice dog', probably just a genuine comment > Dude messages back saying 'if you like my dog you'll love me putting my dick in your butt without consent' or something to that effect.
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Re: Ultramodern relationship problems

Post by Warren » 13 Nov 2019, 15:58

Hugh Akston wrote:
13 Nov 2019, 15:53
Warren wrote:
13 Nov 2019, 15:46
Ellie wrote:
13 Nov 2019, 15:41
Warren wrote:
13 Nov 2019, 15:35
2) a young woman posting about saying "nice dog" to a guy on Tinder and getting a gross, rapey response back, which is apparently typical.
You lost me.
https://twitter.com/sheratesdogs has some prime examples of this.
I can't follow that either.
Is "nice dog" an insult? And that prompts the gross replies?
Dude has a pic of himself with his dog on his Tinder profile > Lady messages him saying 'nice dog', probably just a genuine comment > Dude messages back saying 'if you like my dog you'll love me putting my dick in your butt without consent' or something to that effect.
Gotcha.
Now, I'm thinking that has always been typical for Tinder.
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Re: Ultramodern relationship problems

Post by JD » 13 Nov 2019, 16:00

Jasper wrote:
13 Nov 2019, 15:26
A friend of mine is a tinkerer and wired up his house and chicken coop using Raspberry Pi devices, which I don't think need IOT access.
Internet of Chickens. I like it.

EDIT: I was just joking, but... https://www.google.com/search?q=%22inte ... hickens%22
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Re: Ultramodern relationship problems

Post by Jasper » 13 Nov 2019, 16:24

Hugh Akston wrote:
13 Nov 2019, 15:53
Warren wrote:
13 Nov 2019, 15:46
Ellie wrote:
13 Nov 2019, 15:41
Warren wrote:
13 Nov 2019, 15:35
2) a young woman posting about saying "nice dog" to a guy on Tinder and getting a gross, rapey response back, which is apparently typical.
You lost me.
https://twitter.com/sheratesdogs has some prime examples of this.
I can't follow that either.
Is "nice dog" an insult? And that prompts the gross replies?
Dude has a pic of himself with his dog on his Tinder profile > Lady messages him saying 'nice dog', probably just a genuine comment > Dude messages back saying 'if you like my dog you'll love me putting my dick in your butt without consent' or something to that effect.
Yeah, this. Sorry I wasn't clearer.

So kids think asking for a date face to face is out of bounds, but typical male replies to females on dating sites are mainly sexually aggressive suggestions rather than "hey, thanks for the message. Yeah, I'm blah blah blah... wanna meet for coffee sometime?"

I mean, no wonder the term "incel" was coined - but if their typical response is "I'd love to throatfuck you", maybe it's not so 'involuntary'.
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Re: Ultramodern relationship problems

Post by Jasper » 13 Nov 2019, 16:28

JD wrote:
13 Nov 2019, 16:00
Jasper wrote:
13 Nov 2019, 15:26
A friend of mine is a tinkerer and wired up his house and chicken coop using Raspberry Pi devices, which I don't think need IOT access.
Internet of Chickens. I like it.

EDIT: I was just joking, but... https://www.google.com/search?q=%22inte ... hickens%22
He actually had a chicken cam up for a while.

But, umm... coyotes. He lost all 5 of his birds last year, sadly. (Not on camera, as far as I know.)
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Re: Ultramodern relationship problems

Post by Hugh Akston » 13 Nov 2019, 17:19

We've previously covered the IRL asking people out thing.
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Re: Ultramodern relationship problems

Post by lunchstealer » 16 Nov 2019, 15:01

To answer the X-ennials question, X-ennials are people born in the boundary zone between Xers and Millennials. Typically 1978-82, IIRC. Timothy is in this category, and generally identifies more with Xer cynicism than Millennial idealism.
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Re: Ultramodern relationship problems

Post by Andrew » 16 Nov 2019, 22:05

lunchstealer wrote:
16 Nov 2019, 15:01
To answer the X-ennials question, X-ennials are people born in the boundary zone between Xers and Millennials. Typically 1978-82, IIRC. Timothy is in this category, and generally identifies more with Xer cynicism than Millennial idealism.
This little span is where I am, along with number of coworkers and friends. It's a weird zone. Public discourse is full of all sorts of complaints about millennials entering the workforce, and we've all been working as lawyers for over a decade.
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Re: Ultramodern relationship problems

Post by Jadagul » 16 Nov 2019, 22:10

Andrew wrote:
16 Nov 2019, 22:05
lunchstealer wrote:
16 Nov 2019, 15:01
To answer the X-ennials question, X-ennials are people born in the boundary zone between Xers and Millennials. Typically 1978-82, IIRC. Timothy is in this category, and generally identifies more with Xer cynicism than Millennial idealism.
This little span is where I am, along with number of coworkers and friends. It's a weird zone. Public discourse is full of all sorts of complaints about millennials entering the workforce, and we've all been working as lawyers for over a decade.
That's just people being sloppy. Millennials are all over 22 now. They've mostly finished college.

"The Millennials on campus aren't stressing about getting their term papers in. They're stressing about applying for tenure."

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Re: Ultramodern relationship problems

Post by Eric the .5b » 16 Nov 2019, 23:49

Jadagul wrote:
16 Nov 2019, 22:10
Andrew wrote:
16 Nov 2019, 22:05
lunchstealer wrote:
16 Nov 2019, 15:01
To answer the X-ennials question, X-ennials are people born in the boundary zone between Xers and Millennials. Typically 1978-82, IIRC. Timothy is in this category, and generally identifies more with Xer cynicism than Millennial idealism.
This little span is where I am, along with number of coworkers and friends. It's a weird zone. Public discourse is full of all sorts of complaints about millennials entering the workforce, and we've all been working as lawyers for over a decade.
That's just people being sloppy. Millennials are all over 22 now. They've mostly finished college.

"The Millennials on campus aren't stressing about getting their term papers in. They're stressing about applying for tenure."
People have been pointing this out for a couple of years, now, and yet "Millennial" still means "college student" to a weird number of people. I don't get it.
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Re: Ultramodern relationship problems

Post by Jennifer » 17 Nov 2019, 02:24

OTOH, I seem to recall "Gen X" still being described as college kids when I was 30.
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