The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

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Hugh Akston
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Re: The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by Hugh Akston » 11 Aug 2019, 14:46

thoreau wrote:
11 Aug 2019, 01:01
I'm actually quite open to the possibility that Epstein committed suicide.

Where I am wholly sold on some sort of conspiracy theory is in his original prosection. The prosecutor was hit with heavy pressure from above and gave a deal like nobody has ever gotten. Somebody clearly owed Epstein a favor.

I don't know if Epstein used blackmail, money, social connections, or whatever, but he had clout over someone and got a favor like no other perp has gotten before. Something shady as all hell went down.

Yes, yes, I know that some here are allergic to conspiracy theories, but when a rich guy has lots of important people at parties featuring underage girls, and then gets the most amazing deal ever, there was something shady. I'm not speculating about which important person did what for what reason, but somebody with clout owed Epstein big-time.
Such a great deal folks. So great. The greatest deal in history. No one ever got a better deal. Was it the Clintons that helped him? Who knows. It might have been Crooked Hillary who got him a deal. Maybe it was. Such a great deal though. The greatest ever. Deal or No Deal! Did you watch that show? Starring Cueball Howie Mandel. Terrible ratings. Never won its timeslot. Never the #1 show in America. Unlike some people I know. [make weird face during thunderous applause] Cueball Howie came up to me one time at Mar-a-Lago and said "Mr. Trump, can I play golf with you. Can you teach me to play?" I said "No! Go grow some hair!" He had a show for kids once. Cueball Howie. Makes you wonder, doesn't it? Why make a show for kids unless you're a little eeeeyouknow. Maybe he should be in jail. Not like Epstein. Good businessman. Real tough negotiator. Tough, strong Uptown guy. I never heard of him until this morning when I heard what a great deal he got. So great.
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Warren
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Re: The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by Warren » 11 Aug 2019, 15:22

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Re: The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by lunchstealer » 11 Aug 2019, 19:38

This rings true, and is why, while I don't specifically disbelieve any conspiracy theories, I certainly don't actively believe them either.

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Re: The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by Warren » 11 Aug 2019, 19:55

See. I'm not concerned about the how-tos and why-fors and if Occam is on vacation. I'm going to believe Hillary had him killed because that would give meaning to the universe.
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Re: The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by thoreau » 11 Aug 2019, 21:02

The more I think about this, the less convinced I am that anybody had a reason to kill him at this point.

For starters, who would he testify against? Why would he testify? He was the guy directing the criminal activity, paying others to help him acquire girls and having them work his parties. Underlings get deals for testifying against bosses, but in our un-libertarian justice system the boss doesn't get anything for testifying against underlings. And he was the provider of sex favors. If he identifies someone who had sex with the girls at his parties, they'll say "I thought she was 18" (an excuse that might not work for ordinary schmucks but will work for his rich friends with expensive lawyers) and he still won't get a reduced sentence.

Also, if he has dirt on people, if he has photos or videos or whatever, killing him is the best way to get them released. This is the sort of insurance policy that only pays out AFTER somebody dies.

Plus, whoever was ultimately responsible for his deal in 2008, that person presumably reached an understanding with him, an understanding that probably included destruction of blackmail materials. And didn't his activities largely subside after that? After he had to register as a sex offender it was apparently a whole lot harder to get people to hang out with him.

At this point the man was looking at spending the rest of his life behind bars, in the lowest caste of prisoners. He had no leverage with prosecutors, his blackmail stockpiles were at best stale and more likely depleted, his favors were spent, and the fame that he'd craved had been replaced with infamy.

I think that he killed himself.

But people are determined to believe that the government helped kill him in 2019, rather than asking who in the government helped him in 2006-2008. We know that somebody high up pulled strings back then, but nobody's talking about that. They're clinging to a theory about a murder that probably didn't even happen.
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Re: The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by Aresen » 11 Aug 2019, 22:42

thoreau wrote:
11 Aug 2019, 21:02
But people are determined to believe that the government helped kill him in 2019, rather than asking who in the government helped him in 2006-2008. We know that somebody high up pulled strings back then, but nobody's talking about that. They're clinging to a theory about a murder that probably didn't even happen.
It's not that I have any reason to believe someone done him in, it's just more fun to pretend that I do believe it.
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Re: The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by D.A. Ridgely » 11 Aug 2019, 23:37

Aresen wrote:
11 Aug 2019, 22:42
thoreau wrote:
11 Aug 2019, 21:02
But people are determined to believe that the government helped kill him in 2019, rather than asking who in the government helped him in 2006-2008. We know that somebody high up pulled strings back then, but nobody's talking about that. They're clinging to a theory about a murder that probably didn't even happen.
It's not that I have any reason to believe someone done him in, it's just more fun to pretend that I do believe it.
This.

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Re: The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by Mo » 12 Aug 2019, 00:38

While the “Hillary did it jokes” are fun, if there was even an inkling that he had any goods on the Clintons, he’d be alive today. He was in the care of Bill Barr’s DoJ and he make sure he’d be alive to drop a dime on the Clintons no matter the cost.
his voice is so soothing, but why do conspiracy nuts always sound like Batman and Robin solving one of Riddler's puzzles out loud? - fod

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Re: The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by thoreau » 12 Aug 2019, 01:16

Mo wrote:
12 Aug 2019, 00:38
While the “Hillary did it jokes” are fun, if there was even an inkling that he had any goods on the Clintons, he’d be alive today. He was in the care of Bill Barr’s DoJ and he make sure he’d be alive to drop a dime on the Clintons no matter the cost.
A few decades from now, when Bill is pressing the spiritual flesh with angels and Hillary is begging dead Floridians and Wisconsinites to give her a chance, House Republicans will open investigations into whether her death was actually a suicide because she knew that evidence of her crimes was about to come out.
"They were basically like D&D min maxers, but instead of pissing off their DM, they destroyed the global economy. Also, instead of their DM making a level 7 paladin fight a beholder as punishment, he got a +3 sword of turning."
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Re: The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by nicole » 12 Aug 2019, 05:03

thoreau wrote:
11 Aug 2019, 21:02
The more I think about this, the less convinced I am that anybody had a reason to kill him at this point.

For starters, who would he testify against? Why would he testify? He was the guy directing the criminal activity, paying others to help him acquire girls and having them work his parties. Underlings get deals for testifying against bosses, but in our un-libertarian justice system the boss doesn't get anything for testifying against underlings. And he was the provider of sex favors. If he identifies someone who had sex with the girls at his parties, they'll say "I thought she was 18" (an excuse that might not work for ordinary schmucks but will work for his rich friends with expensive lawyers) and he still won't get a reduced sentence.

Also, if he has dirt on people, if he has photos or videos or whatever, killing him is the best way to get them released. This is the sort of insurance policy that only pays out AFTER somebody dies.

Plus, whoever was ultimately responsible for his deal in 2008, that person presumably reached an understanding with him, an understanding that probably included destruction of blackmail materials. And didn't his activities largely subside after that? After he had to register as a sex offender it was apparently a whole lot harder to get people to hang out with him.

At this point the man was looking at spending the rest of his life behind bars, in the lowest caste of prisoners. He had no leverage with prosecutors, his blackmail stockpiles were at best stale and more likely depleted, his favors were spent, and the fame that he'd craved had been replaced with infamy.

I think that he killed himself.

But people are determined to believe that the government helped kill him in 2019, rather than asking who in the government helped him in 2006-2008. We know that somebody high up pulled strings back then, but nobody's talking about that. They're clinging to a theory about a murder that probably didn't even happen.
Lol, who isn’t talking about who helped him 10 years ago? Give me a break. Everyone is obsessed with that and it’s why they’re theorizing about his death.
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Re: The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by Andrew » 13 Aug 2019, 07:31

Galaxy brain hot take: all this Epstein stuff is a distraction from something big behind the scenes.
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Re: The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by dbcooper » 13 Aug 2019, 09:06

Slip inside a sleeping bag.

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Re: The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by Dangerman » 13 Aug 2019, 11:02

Marv, we're the Wet Bandits!

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Re: The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by lunchstealer » 13 Aug 2019, 13:22

Andrew wrote:
13 Aug 2019, 07:31
Galaxy brain hot take: all this Epstein stuff is a distraction from something big behind the scenes.
You mean like concentration camps?

*ducks*
"The constitution is more of a BDSM agreement with a safe word." - Sandy

"Neoliberalism. Austerity. Booga booga!!!!" - JasonL

"We can't confirm rumors that Lynndie England is in the running to be Gina Haspel's personal aide." - DAR

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Re: The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by thoreau » 13 Aug 2019, 14:21

lunchstealer wrote:
13 Aug 2019, 13:22
Andrew wrote:
13 Aug 2019, 07:31
Galaxy brain hot take: all this Epstein stuff is a distraction from something big behind the scenes.
You mean like concentration camps?

*ducks*
Dude, "concentration camp" is not the preferred nomenclature. "Freedom facility", please.
"They were basically like D&D min maxers, but instead of pissing off their DM, they destroyed the global economy. Also, instead of their DM making a level 7 paladin fight a beholder as punishment, he got a +3 sword of turning."
--Mo


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Aresen
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Re: The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by Aresen » 14 Aug 2019, 13:55

Well, the only evidence available seems to be strongly in favor of the prosecution.
If Trump supporters wanted a tough guy, why did they elect such a whiny bitch? - Mo

Those who know history are doomed to deja vu. - the innominate one

Never bring a knife to a joke fight" - dhex

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Re: The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by dbcooper » 14 Aug 2019, 19:16

Slip inside a sleeping bag.

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Pham Nuwen
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Re: The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by Pham Nuwen » 14 Aug 2019, 23:39

Because Bill is a man of taste and class?
Goddamn libertarian message board. Hugh Akston

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Re: The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by dbcooper » 14 Aug 2019, 23:55

Slip inside a sleeping bag.

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Re: The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by Aresen » 15 Aug 2019, 00:11

Maybe Marianne Williamson can hold a seance to ask Epstein what really happened.
If Trump supporters wanted a tough guy, why did they elect such a whiny bitch? - Mo

Those who know history are doomed to deja vu. - the innominate one

Never bring a knife to a joke fight" - dhex

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Re: The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by Mo » 15 Aug 2019, 05:09

Among the bones broken in Epstein’s neck was the hyoid bone, which in men is near the Adam’s apple. Such breaks can occur in those who hang themselves, particularly if they are older, according to forensics experts and studies on the subject. But they are more common in victims of homicide by strangulation, the experts said.
Is this because homicide by strangulation is more common than suicide by hanging?
his voice is so soothing, but why do conspiracy nuts always sound like Batman and Robin solving one of Riddler's puzzles out loud? - fod

no one ever yells worldstar when a pet gets fucked up - dhex

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Re: The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by Dangerman » 15 Aug 2019, 09:42

It's probably because suicides don't give themselves a lot of drop, which is needed to break the neck rather than slowly asphyxiate, whereas when someone is strangling you, they exert a lot of force directly across the front of the throat.

Hanging yourself in a room with low ceilings sounds like a shitty way to go.

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Re: The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by nicole » 15 Aug 2019, 09:53

Word is he knelt for it
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Re: The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by Highway » 15 Aug 2019, 10:21

Igor Zinoviev, former bodyguard and driver for Jeffrey Epstein, gives an interesting interview, as much for what he doesn't say as what he does
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