Dancing With the Dems

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Warren
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Re: Dancing With the Dems

Post by Warren »

B-berg and Trump have been in cahoots Ever since H-dog gamed the primaries last cycle.
FADE IN:
INT. Underground NJ parking garage – Night (2014)
The garage is dimly lit with florescent lights many of which are flickering or burned out completely. Two stretch limousines slowly approach each other and begin to pass one another (on the left) till the rear doors are adjacent and they stop. Identically dressed chauffeurs move in unison out of the driver seats, around the cars and open the rear doors which hit each other. The chauffeurs meet each other's eyes and hold them for twenty seconds. Then on an unspoken cue, they play rock-paper-scissors. The loser grimaces and the winner opens his door. Donald Trump emerges from the limo clad in [designer] overcoat. The other door is opened and Michael Bloomberg emerges from the other limo in the same overcoat. The two men are standing so close together their noses are mere millimeters apart. (The camera frames both faces in profile as they speak.)

Trump: Mike

Bloomberg: Don How are you? You look Good

Trump: I'm fucking fantastic Mike. How are you? You look like shit.

Bloomberg: Let's dispense with the pleasantries. I suppose you know why we're here.

Trump: I know everything Mike, but what I don't know, is why we're here. Jesus couldn't you pick some place with some dancing girls?

Bloomberg: (rolls eyes)

Trump: Right, down to business. We have to do something about Hillary.

Bloomberg: There's nothing we can do. She's already rigged the game. She will be the nominee. Our only hope is that she loses in the general.

Trump: To who?

Bloomberg: Whom

Trump: What?

Bloomberg: To whom?

Trump: Thats what I said. Whom has they got? Christie? Jeb? Cruz? She'll mop the floor with any of them. The only real threat is Paul, and he'd be even worse.

Bloomberg: My people tell me he took the deal.

Trump: (nods)

Bloomberg: It's got to be you Don. You've got to take one for the team.

Trump: Of course it has to be me. No one else is anywhere near as good looking or smart enough to pull it off.

Bloomberg: Are you sure you can pull it off?

Trump: Of course I can. I could to it with one hand tied behind my back. I'll blame everything on foreigners. Then I'll promise them whatever they want. Then I'll promise them even more. I'll be the biggest panderer you've ever seen. I'll be yuge. Just watch, it'll be amazing.

Bloomberg: And once you're in?

Trump: I'll tear the GOP apart from the inside out. It'll be awesome. I'll make fools out of them all. I'll turn Ryan into my puppet. I'll have them eating out of the palm of my hand as I make a mockery of their foreign policy, their economic policy, health care, taxes, immigration, trade, the works. And if anyone refuses to dance to my tune, I'll have them eaten alive by their own kind. It'll be glorious you'll see.

Bloomberg: Good

Trump: Great

The two men get back in their limos. The chauffeurs close their doors and the doors collide again. The doors are closed one at a time, the chauffeurs (in unison) walk back and get behind their respective wheels and the limos slowly drive off.

SCENE
This is Phase II
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Eric the .5b
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Re: Dancing With the Dems

Post by Eric the .5b »

dbcooper wrote:
15 Jan 2020, 11:16
What insane level of vanity is required to run a campaign like his? He's not contesting the initial primaries, nor has he tried to enter the debates.
High enough that I really hope he never actually beats the Butt, no matter how much of his money he throws at this.

I want him to spend a big fraction of his wealth and end up humiliated. I want him to retroactively give Ross Perot dignity by comparison. :)
"Better that ten guilty persons escape than that one innocent suffer."
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Ellie
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Re: Dancing With the Dems

Post by Ellie »

Warren wrote:
15 Jan 2020, 13:05
B-berg and Trump have been in cahoots Ever since H-dog gamed the primaries last cycle.
That was so good. You are such a clever writer! I wish I'd had the chops to keep up.

Our idea, of course, is a lot less funny now.
"2019 has got to stop injecting dmt straight in the dick hole." - dhex

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Warren
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Re: Dancing With the Dems

Post by Warren »

Ellie wrote:
16 Jan 2020, 10:27
Warren wrote:
15 Jan 2020, 13:05
B-berg and Trump have been in cahoots Ever since H-dog gamed the primaries last cycle.
That was so good. You are such a clever writer! I wish I'd had the chops to keep up.

Our idea, of course, is a lot less funny now.
You think so? I think it's gotten even more hilarious with every tweet.
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Ellie
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Re: Dancing With the Dems

Post by Ellie »

Well, he certainly is showing a commitment to the role, if you look at it like that! :D
"2019 has got to stop injecting dmt straight in the dick hole." - dhex

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nicole
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Re: Dancing With the Dems

Post by nicole »

"Fucking qualia." -Hugh Akston

"Sliced bagels aren't why trump won; it's why it doesn't matter who wins." -dhex

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Hugh Akston
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Re: Dancing With the Dems

Post by Hugh Akston »

Gross
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nicole
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Re: Dancing With the Dems

Post by nicole »

It still blows my mind that people think it's okay to stop people killing themselves in prison. Like, I still haven't recovered from being told when I was like 10 that that isn't allowed.
"Fucking qualia." -Hugh Akston

"Sliced bagels aren't why trump won; it's why it doesn't matter who wins." -dhex

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Warren
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Re: Dancing With the Dems

Post by Warren »

This notion that our judicial system is about meting our vengeance has troubled me deeply for quite some time. Making bad people suffer is not an inherent good. Indeed, the more profusely and longer we impose misery on our criminals the more we as a society suffer in the long run. Our judicial system should be about minimizing crime.

The whole idea that making bad people suffer is good, is quite vile.
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nicole
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Re: Dancing With the Dems

Post by nicole »

Now, I know not everyone here likes mayo but...I literally do not understand calling it "bland"...like...it...adds flavor to things...

"Fucking qualia." -Hugh Akston

"Sliced bagels aren't why trump won; it's why it doesn't matter who wins." -dhex

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Number 6
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Re: Dancing With the Dems

Post by Number 6 »

Warren wrote:
17 Jan 2020, 12:42
This notion that our judicial system is about meting our vengeance has troubled me deeply for quite some time. Making bad people suffer is not an inherent good. Indeed, the more profusely and longer we impose misery on our criminals the more we as a society suffer in the long run. Our judicial system should be about minimizing crime.

The whole idea that making bad people suffer is good, is quite vile.
For once, I agree unequivocally with Warren on something other than music or food.
" i discovered you eat dog dicks out of a bowl marked "dog dicks" because you're too stupid to remember where you left your bowl of dog dicks."-dhex, of course.
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JD
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Re: Dancing With the Dems

Post by JD »

I also oppose it because I think that people who have committed heinous crimes should die in prison. I think that is how we give them the maximum, maximum punishment that we can: keep them in prison for all of their days.
This is also really weird because if she prefers life imprisonment over the death penalty because it's worse, it implies that if she could think of something even worse she'd be in favor of that too.
I sort of feel like a sucker about aspiring to be intellectually rigorous when I could just go on twitter and say capitalism causes space herpes and no one will challenge me on it. - Hugh Akston

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Hugh Akston
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Re: Dancing With the Dems

Post by Hugh Akston »

JD wrote:
17 Jan 2020, 16:31
I also oppose it because I think that people who have committed heinous crimes should die in prison. I think that is how we give them the maximum, maximum punishment that we can: keep them in prison for all of their days.
This is also really weird because if she prefers life imprisonment over the death penalty because it's worse, it implies that if she could think of something even worse she'd be in favor of that too.
Elizabeth Warren 2020: Why Not Torture?
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Andrew
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Re: Dancing With the Dems

Post by Andrew »

Hugh Akston wrote:
17 Jan 2020, 16:37
JD wrote:
17 Jan 2020, 16:31
I also oppose it because I think that people who have committed heinous crimes should die in prison. I think that is how we give them the maximum, maximum punishment that we can: keep them in prison for all of their days.
This is also really weird because if she prefers life imprisonment over the death penalty because it's worse, it implies that if she could think of something even worse she'd be in favor of that too.
Elizabeth Warren 2020: Why Not Torture?
If they could, many people would impose a sentence of "life imprisonment plus a slow, painful death by untreated cancer."
We live in the fucked age. Get used to it. - dhex

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Eric the .5b
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Re: Dancing With the Dems

Post by Eric the .5b »

Number 6 wrote:
17 Jan 2020, 16:29
Warren wrote:
17 Jan 2020, 12:42
This notion that our judicial system is about meting our vengeance has troubled me deeply for quite some time. Making bad people suffer is not an inherent good. Indeed, the more profusely and longer we impose misery on our criminals the more we as a society suffer in the long run. Our judicial system should be about minimizing crime.

The whole idea that making bad people suffer is good, is quite vile.
For once, I agree unequivocally with Warren on something other than music or food.
Likewise.
"Better that ten guilty persons escape than that one innocent suffer."
Cet animal est très méchant / Quand on l'attaque il se défend.

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thoreau
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Re: Dancing With the Dems

Post by thoreau »

Eric the .5b wrote:
17 Jan 2020, 18:48
Number 6 wrote:
17 Jan 2020, 16:29
Warren wrote:
17 Jan 2020, 12:42
This notion that our judicial system is about meting our vengeance has troubled me deeply for quite some time. Making bad people suffer is not an inherent good. Indeed, the more profusely and longer we impose misery on our criminals the more we as a society suffer in the long run. Our judicial system should be about minimizing crime.

The whole idea that making bad people suffer is good, is quite vile.
For once, I agree unequivocally with Warren on something other than music or food.
Likewise.
I basically agree. The only caveat I would add is that the system needs to be seen doling out just enough retribution to keep people from feeling like the system is broken and either engaging in vigilantism or voting for tuff-on-crime populists.

But we don't need life without parole to reach that threshold. We already lock up more people longer than needed to accomplish the goals of deterrence, sequestering truly violent criminals, and appeasing society.
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Kolohe
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Re: Dancing With the Dems

Post by Kolohe »

Andrew wrote:
17 Jan 2020, 18:38
Hugh Akston wrote:
17 Jan 2020, 16:37
JD wrote:
17 Jan 2020, 16:31
I also oppose it because I think that people who have committed heinous crimes should die in prison. I think that is how we give them the maximum, maximum punishment that we can: keep them in prison for all of their days.
This is also really weird because if she prefers life imprisonment over the death penalty because it's worse, it implies that if she could think of something even worse she'd be in favor of that too.
Elizabeth Warren 2020: Why Not Torture?
If they could, many people would impose a sentence of "life imprisonment plus a slow, painful death by untreated cancer."
That is why there is a push to parole/early release geriatric prisoners, so the prison system isn't on the hook anymore for expensive end of life care.
when you wake up as the queen of the n=1 kingdom and mount your steed non sequiturius, do you look out upon all you survey and think “damn, it feels good to be a green idea sleeping furiously?" - dhex

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D.A. Ridgely
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Re: Dancing With the Dems

Post by D.A. Ridgely »

If Iowa is any indication, and it is, the Democrats are already fucked.

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Pham Nuwen
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Re: Dancing With the Dems

Post by Pham Nuwen »

Man. I'm really wondering more and more about trump being reelected. It boggles my mind. I'm still pretty sure he'll lose just from sheer number of voters but man. Just seems more and more likely to be reelected.
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nicole
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Re: Dancing With the Dems

Post by nicole »

The economy is looking pretty good, Pham!
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Hugh Akston
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Re: Dancing With the Dems

Post by Hugh Akston »

Check your talking points nicole. The economy is roaring.
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Aresen
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Re: Dancing With the Dems

Post by Aresen »

D.A. Ridgely wrote:
04 Feb 2020, 17:14
If Iowa is any indication, and it is, the Democrats are already fucked.
Iowa is not promissing for those of us who want to see Trump ousted.
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Eric the .5b
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Re: Dancing With the Dems

Post by Eric the .5b »

*checks notes*

1) It's offensive to say anyone left-of-center has a problem with Buttigieg due to homophobia.

2) It's offensive to say anyone left-of-center has a problem with Sanders because of anti-semitism.

3) However, the only reason anyone left-of-center has a problem with Warren is misogyny.

Got it.
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JasonL
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Re: Dancing With the Dems

Post by JasonL »

We are so fucked. Donkeys are the least competent people in the world. They are going to lose twice to nakedly corrupt grab em by the pssy / Kansas = Missouri guy. As with last time they will have themselves to blame but I'm sure some new outside mind control force will emerge as their nemesis.

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Re: Dancing With the Dems

Post by Warren »

JasonL wrote:
05 Feb 2020, 08:34
We are so fucked. Donkeys are the least competent people in the world. They are going to lose twice to nakedly corrupt grab em by the pssy / Kansas = Missouri guy. As with last time they will have themselves to blame but I'm sure some new outside mind control force will emerge as their nemesis.
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