If We Build It, They'll Probably Still Come

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Tuco
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Re: If We Build It, They'll Probably Still Come

Post by Tuco » 27 Nov 2018, 04:52

Pham Nuwen wrote:
26 Nov 2018, 09:55
Warren wrote:
26 Nov 2018, 08:58
Tuco wrote:
26 Nov 2018, 06:28
Well, those fucking 3% Minutemen whatever-the-fuck those camouflage-clad, four-wheeler driving, flag waving assholes who jack off at the thought of shooting some Beaner have been all over the fucking place these last few days, and I hate them.

Okay, so national borders are sacrosanct, but you have no compunction about stomping all over private property, even cutting fences or busting padlocks? Oh, and how's about picking up your trash, you fucking troglodytes. YOUR MAMAS RAISED YOUR FILTHY ASSES WRONG!
Why do you hate America Tuco?
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Aresen
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Re: If We Build It, They'll Probably Still Come

Post by Aresen » 27 Nov 2018, 12:05

Snowbirds amassing at U.S. border

A White House senior aide has disclosed that the sheer number of retired Canadians amassing along the northern border is creating consternation amongst top State Department and the Department of Homeland Security. Experts anticipate that half a million of these snowbirds will migrate to the U.S. over the next month, dwarfing the immigrant caravan crossing Mexico, and placing undue stress on the quality of life for many Americans, while posing a growing security threat.

“It’s too much,” lamented the anonymous aide. “It’s a struggle for citizens in Florida, Arizona and California to find a tee time, the pickleball courts are full and God help you if you want to find a parking spot at an outlet shopping mall. ”

Evidence collected last winter raised concerns that the normally reserved Canadians are exhibiting more uncivilized behaviour these days.

“We have reports that Canadians were telling jokes about our president. And across the southern US, pot-bellied over-the-hill Canadians in pastel golf shirts would walk into bars in the late afternoon, demanding $2.50 for highballs and a buck and a half for a beer, proclaiming that happy hour was here. Like they were tragically hip or something.”

The aide was asked if anxiety surrounding the Canadian caravan permeated the White House.

“Look, I can’t speak for everyone here, but we love Canadians - Conrad Black, the Reichmann family, Pamela Anderson. But we cannot ignore the burden this influx of Canadians places on us.”

The security concerns are heightened by Canada’s recent decision to legalize recreational marijuana. U.S. officials are wary of baby boomer potheads bringing their debauched drug habits over the border.

“It seems they’ve all been told to say the same thing to our immigration officers,” said the aide. “When they ask Canadians if they have ever consumed marijuana, they get this apathetic stare and the standard response, ‘Who me?’

“We’ve searched luggage and repeatedly found boxes of instant brownie mix hidden under lumberjack coats, but there’s nothing we can do.”

The Canadian snowbirds want to ensure that empathetic Americans understand their plight. One traveler going through US immigration at the Calgary airport put it this way: “We sacrifice a lot leaving our homeland each winter - Bloody Caesars, people saying ‘you're welcome’ instead of ‘uh-huh,’ 24/7 coverage of the Leafs on TSN. But you must realize that we suffer from a brutally oppressive winter regime so we have to seek seasonal asylum in your country.”

This is expected to become a pivotal issue in the run-up to the U.S. mid-term elections. Canadians are advised to slip over the border while they still can.
Only half a million?
If Trump supporters wanted a tough guy, why did they elect such a whiny bitch? - Mo

Those who know history are doomed to deja vu. - the innominate one

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Jennifer
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Re: If We Build It, They'll Probably Still Come

Post by Jennifer » 28 Nov 2018, 17:14

Trump's administration waived the background-check requirements for staff members at our kiddie concentration camps.

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/latino/tru ... on-n940711
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Ellie
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Re: If We Build It, They'll Probably Still Come

Post by Ellie » 28 Nov 2018, 17:52

I'm trying very hard not to pay attention to any of the news about the border or immigration lately because I am pretty sure my head will actually explode. But I've heard enough for my Christmas wish to be that somebody Lorena Bobbitts Trump's stupid mushroom dick.
"He's just an idiot elected by idiots." - Pham

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Jennifer
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Re: If We Build It, They'll Probably Still Come

Post by Jennifer » 28 Nov 2018, 17:55

The Evolution of Trump Defenders:

THEN: Oh, c'mon! To hear you talk, you'd think Trump was going to open concentration camps or something!

NOW: Oh, c'mon! To hear you talk, you'd think our concentration camps have actual gas chambers or something!
"Myself, despite what they say about libertarians, I think we're actually allowed to pursue options beyond futility or sucking the dicks of the powerful." -- Eric the .5b

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Aresen
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Re: If We Build It, They'll Probably Still Come

Post by Aresen » 28 Nov 2018, 18:01

Jennifer wrote:
28 Nov 2018, 17:55
The Evolution of Trump Defenders:

THEN: Oh, c'mon! To hear you talk, you'd think Trump was going to open concentration camps or something!

NOW: Oh, c'mon! To hear you talk, you'd think our concentration camps have actual gas chambers or something!
SOON: "It's not as if we used Zyklon-B."

/tasteless
If Trump supporters wanted a tough guy, why did they elect such a whiny bitch? - Mo

Those who know history are doomed to deja vu. - the innominate one

Never bring a knife to a joke fight" - dhex

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thoreau
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Re: If We Build It, They'll Probably Still Come

Post by thoreau » 13 Dec 2018, 00:09

They want to deport Vietnamese immigrants who came here before reestablishment of diplomatic ties in 1995:

https://www.theatlantic.com/amp/article ... ssion=true

This is one way to make sure that they never win back those House seats in Orange County.
"They were basically like D&D min maxers, but instead of pissing off their DM, they destroyed the global economy. Also, instead of their DM making a level 7 paladin fight a beholder as punishment, he got a +3 sword of turning."
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Eric the .5b
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Re: If We Build It, They'll Probably Still Come

Post by Eric the .5b » 13 Dec 2018, 04:20

thoreau wrote:
13 Dec 2018, 00:09
They want to deport Vietnamese immigrants who came here before reestablishment of diplomatic ties in 1995:
SMOD was robbed in 2016.
"Better that ten guilty persons escape than that one innocent suffer."
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Mo
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Re: If We Build It, They'll Probably Still Come

Post by Mo » 13 Dec 2018, 15:55

ICE puts out call to have immigrants help kids locked up. They come and it’s a sting they use as an excuse to check criminal backgrounds and deport people. This is fucking depraved. But yes, there’s nothing wrong with Trump because of the lulz

https://www.wonkette.com/totally-non-ev ... baby-jails
his voice is so soothing, but why do conspiracy nuts always sound like Batman and Robin solving one of Riddler's puzzles out loud? - fod

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dhex
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Re: If We Build It, They'll Probably Still Come

Post by dhex » 13 Dec 2018, 16:21

Cunts
"I do wear my New Balance tennis shoes when I'm wearing cargo shorts, though, because truth in advertising." - lunch

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Aresen
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Re: If We Build It, They'll Probably Still Come

Post by Aresen » 13 Dec 2018, 16:37

Mo wrote:
13 Dec 2018, 15:55
ICE puts out call to have immigrants help kids locked up. They come and it’s a sting they use as an excuse to check criminal backgrounds and deport people. This is fucking depraved. But yes, there’s nothing wrong with Trump because of the lulz

https://www.wonkette.com/totally-non-ev ... baby-jails
Best comment on the article
It's a rare opportunity to watch literal evil people at work.
If Trump supporters wanted a tough guy, why did they elect such a whiny bitch? - Mo

Those who know history are doomed to deja vu. - the innominate one

Never bring a knife to a joke fight" - dhex

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Eric the .5b
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Re: If We Build It, They'll Probably Still Come

Post by Eric the .5b » 13 Dec 2018, 23:06

Robbed, I tell you. Robbed.
"Better that ten guilty persons escape than that one innocent suffer."
Cet animal est très méchant / Quand on l'attaque il se défend.

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Hugh Akston
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Re: If We Build It, They'll Probably Still Come

Post by Hugh Akston » 13 Dec 2018, 23:35

Hey, let's not forget the assholes in the CPB:
A 7-year-old girl from Guatemala died of dehydration and shock after she was taken into Border Patrol custody last week for crossing from Mexico into the United States illegally with her father and a large group of migrants along a remote span of New Mexico desert, U.S. Customs and Border Protection said Thursday.
According to CBP records, the girl and her father were taken into custody about 10 p.m. Dec. 6 south of Lordsburg, N.M., as part of a group of 163 people who approached U.S. agents to turn themselves in.

More than eight hours later, the child began having seizures at 6:25 a.m., CBP records show. Emergency responders, who arrived soon after, measured her body temperature at 105.7 degrees, and according to a statement from CBP, she “reportedly had not eaten or consumed water for several days.”
The agency is investigating the incident to ensure appropriate policies were followed, it said.
Place your bets now.
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Mo
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Re: If We Build It, They'll Probably Still Come

Post by Mo » 15 Dec 2018, 12:02

I can’t imagine the wailing and gnashing if a Congress critter of Mexican heritage did this.

https://www.politico.com/story/2018/12/ ... ll-1032517
his voice is so soothing, but why do conspiracy nuts always sound like Batman and Robin solving one of Riddler's puzzles out loud? - fod

no one ever yells worldstar when a pet gets fucked up - dhex

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thoreau
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Re: If We Build It, They'll Probably Still Come

Post by thoreau » 15 Dec 2018, 12:19

Well, it should be easy to get Trump to veto this. We just need a bunch of people with Irish last names to insult him on Twitter or protest outside one of his golf courses.
"They were basically like D&D min maxers, but instead of pissing off their DM, they destroyed the global economy. Also, instead of their DM making a level 7 paladin fight a beholder as punishment, he got a +3 sword of turning."
--Mo

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Tuco
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Re: If We Build It, They'll Probably Still Come

Post by Tuco » 15 Jan 2019, 08:04

Crisis, my ass.

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Tuco
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Re: If We Build It, They'll Probably Still Come

Post by Tuco » 15 Jan 2019, 08:20

Anybody remember last time we kicked this stupid football around? Post 9-11? It was all, "Ahhhh! the Muslims are coming across the border to commit acts of terrorism, we need to build a wall! We find prayer shawls and Korans and shit all over! Ahhhhh!" I have never found a single person who's actually found any of this shit. It's like finding Cibola. "Oh, yeah, I heard Fulano over there on that ranch found that." Hey, Fulano, I heard you found some Muslim terrorist stuff. "Oh, yeah, I heard about that. I think it was Ding-Dong two ranches over." But Congress decided it was a big fucking emergency anyway, so they said oh, hell yes, here's some money, and by the way, we don't give a shit about the environmental impact, so here's some more laws. So they built a shit-ton of steel Normandy fence and patted themselves on the back. And now, we're worried about 5 foot tall Guatemalan women and their infant children. Home of the brave, my left nut.

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Tuco
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Re: If We Build It, They'll Probably Still Come

Post by Tuco » 15 Jan 2019, 08:32

Call me cynical, but border policy has always made more sense to me as a jobs program. There's a lot of people driving around in their white and green paddy wagons drawing a good paycheck. Keeping evil drugs or evil beaners out is just the rationalization for all this. Lots of money to be made building a fucking atrocity of a wall.

Fucking emergency. Get the fuck out of here.

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Tuco
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Re: If We Build It, They'll Probably Still Come

Post by Tuco » 15 Jan 2019, 08:33

Just in case you all were wondering if I'm really crazy.

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Highway
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Re: If We Build It, They'll Probably Still Come

Post by Highway » 15 Jan 2019, 09:47

:thumbs up:
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Pham Nuwen
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Re: If We Build It, They'll Probably Still Come

Post by Pham Nuwen » 15 Jan 2019, 11:46

I like you, Tuco. That's why I'm going to kill you last.
Goddamn libertarian message board. Hugh Akston

leave me to my mescaline smoothie in peace, please. dhex

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Warren
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Re: If We Build It, They'll Probably Still Come

Post by Warren » 15 Jan 2019, 13:05

Pham Nuwen wrote:
15 Jan 2019, 11:46
I like you, Tuco. That's why I'm going to kill you last.
You said you were going to kill me last because you didn't like me.
We fucked up, so we're going to need more money. - Tuco

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JasonL
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Re: If We Build It, They'll Probably Still Come

Post by JasonL » 15 Jan 2019, 14:12

His good graces ephameral.

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Pham Nuwen
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Re: If We Build It, They'll Probably Still Come

Post by Pham Nuwen » 15 Jan 2019, 16:22

Warren wrote:
15 Jan 2019, 13:05
Pham Nuwen wrote:
15 Jan 2019, 11:46
I like you, Tuco. That's why I'm going to kill you last.
You said you were going to kill me last because you didn't like me.
Warren. I'm sorry you had to find out like this. That was not my intention. Im sorry. It's not you. It's me. You deserve better and I hope you find someone that can be more honest with you than I have been. You deserve it.
Goddamn libertarian message board. Hugh Akston

leave me to my mescaline smoothie in peace, please. dhex

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Jake
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Re: If We Build It, They'll Probably Still Come

Post by Jake » 15 Jan 2019, 16:36

**wipes away tear, tries to hide it**
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