Orange is the new President

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Dangerman
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by Dangerman » 05 Jun 2019, 20:00

I heard an ad on the radio for "LIMITED EDITION SILVER COINS WITH OUR PRESIDENT'S LIKENESS!"

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D.A. Ridgely
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by D.A. Ridgely » 05 Jun 2019, 20:55

I'm with him on Nordstrom's, though. Come to think of it, I'm not even sure how any department stores have managed to survive.

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Aresen
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by Aresen » 05 Jun 2019, 23:38

OFFFFFS:

Trump likens Irish border to wall between US and Mexico
Donald Trump has started his visit to Ireland by comparing its post-Brexit border with Northern Ireland to the US border with Mexico, along which he wants to build a permanent wall.

Trump, sitting next to a visibly uncomfortable taoiseach, Leo Varadkar, waded into the Brexit debate minutes after Air Force One touched down at Shannon airport on Wednesday afternoon.

“I think it will all work out very well, and also for you with your wall, your border,” he said at a joint press conference. “I mean, we have a border situation in the United States, and you have one over here. But I hear it’s going to work out very well here.”

Varadkar interjected that Ireland wished to avoid a border or a wall, a keystone of Irish government policy.
If Trump supporters wanted a tough guy, why did they elect such a whiny bitch? - Mo

Those who know history are doomed to deja vu. - the innominate one

Never bring a knife to a joke fight" - dhex

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Aresen
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by Aresen » 06 Jun 2019, 11:25

It's Vanity Fair, but the headline is funny:

CANADA AND MEXICO FORM EMOTIONAL SUPPORT GROUP TO DEAL WITH TRUMP
Donald Trump’s threat last week to impose increasingly stiff tariffs on Mexico unless the country meets some ill-defined criterion on immigration is only the most recent instance of the capricious president blindsiding the US’s North American allies. Trump has slapped both Canada and Mexico with steel and aluminum tariffs before lifting them; pushed both countries to their limits in tempestuous trade-deal negotiations; and generally behaved like an ill-tempered toddler, saying one thing one moment, and changing his mind the next.

In fact, the president has been such an agent of chaos that Mexico and Canada have reportedly formed something like an emotional support group. According to Politico, America’s neighbors have “learned to lean on each other with an informal support network to plot strategy and shape a shared action plan” for when the president goes off the rails. “What we are doing is, prepare and keep a strategy of how to coexist with what is sometimes unpredictable,” Mexican Foreign Minister Marcelo Ebrard told the publication on Tuesday. “That’s our obligation.”
If Trump supporters wanted a tough guy, why did they elect such a whiny bitch? - Mo

Those who know history are doomed to deja vu. - the innominate one

Never bring a knife to a joke fight" - dhex

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thoreau
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by thoreau » 07 Jun 2019, 13:52

First he gave America to the Russians, now he's giving our precious moon to the Martians.
Screenshot_20190607-104733.jpg
Screenshot_20190607-104733.jpg (64.91 KiB) Viewed 1043 times
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Hugh Akston
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by Hugh Akston » 07 Jun 2019, 14:28

Image
"Is a Lulztopia the best we can hope for?!?" ~Taktix®
"Somali pirates are beholden to their hostages in a way that the USG is not." ~Dangerman

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Shem
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by Shem » 07 Jun 2019, 16:05

Pretty sure the bigger story here is that the whole reason NASA was focused on the Moon in the first place was that he directed them to make it their focus. And that the only reason he decided it was old hat now was because Neil Cavuto asked why NASA is making the Moon their "next quest."
"VOTE SHEMOCRACY! You will only have to do it once!" -Loyalty Officer Aresen

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Aresen
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by Aresen » 07 Jun 2019, 16:09

In his case, ADD is a blessing.
If Trump supporters wanted a tough guy, why did they elect such a whiny bitch? - Mo

Those who know history are doomed to deja vu. - the innominate one

Never bring a knife to a joke fight" - dhex

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thoreau
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by thoreau » 07 Jun 2019, 16:13

If some liberal billionaires bought Fox News they could make Trump the most progressive President ever.

"Mr. President, you should refuse to sign any budget deal that doesn't ensure our military spending is equal to the Russian and Chinese military budgets COMBINED!!!!"

"Mr. President, you should sign an executive order that federal prison inmates MUST get educations and learn skills for gainful employment so they will have to work for a living when they get out!"

"Mr. President, you need to show everyone that you mean business and you will not tolerate any obstacles that prevent American companies from doing business in Cuba!"
"They were basically like D&D min maxers, but instead of pissing off their DM, they destroyed the global economy. Also, instead of their DM making a level 7 paladin fight a beholder as punishment, he got a +3 sword of turning."
--Mo

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Aresen
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by Aresen » 07 Jun 2019, 17:03

thoreau wrote:
07 Jun 2019, 16:13
"Mr. President, you need to show everyone that you mean business and you will not tolerate any obstacles that prevent American companies from doing business in Cuba!"
I wonder what effect the offer of a site for Trump Havana along the Playas del este might have on his Cuba policy?
If Trump supporters wanted a tough guy, why did they elect such a whiny bitch? - Mo

Those who know history are doomed to deja vu. - the innominate one

Never bring a knife to a joke fight" - dhex

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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by dhex » 07 Jun 2019, 18:27

The moon is a part of Mars.
"I do wear my New Balance tennis shoes when I'm wearing cargo shorts, though, because truth in advertising." - lunch

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Hugh Akston
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by Hugh Akston » 07 Jun 2019, 19:47

dhex wrote:
07 Jun 2019, 18:27
The moon is a part of Mars.
Say what you will about his policies, his demeanor, and the fact that he is a semiliterate ignoramus, but Trump truly is the greatest source in presidential history of zen koans upon which to meditate.
"Is a Lulztopia the best we can hope for?!?" ~Taktix®
"Somali pirates are beholden to their hostages in a way that the USG is not." ~Dangerman

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Jennifer
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by Jennifer » 07 Jun 2019, 21:03

Mars and the moon are both in the sky. Checkmate, libtards.
"Myself, despite what they say about libertarians, I think we're actually allowed to pursue options beyond futility or sucking the dicks of the powerful." -- Eric the .5b

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Pham Nuwen
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by Pham Nuwen » 07 Jun 2019, 21:05

Mars isn't real and the moon is made of cheese. Can't explain that i bet.
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leave me to my mescaline smoothie in peace, please. dhex

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thoreau
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by thoreau » 07 Jun 2019, 21:07

Mars is orange-ish. Sometimes the moon looks orange in the sky. Trump is orange. Therefore Trump knows everything about space.
"They were basically like D&D min maxers, but instead of pissing off their DM, they destroyed the global economy. Also, instead of their DM making a level 7 paladin fight a beholder as punishment, he got a +3 sword of turning."
--Mo

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Pham Nuwen
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by Pham Nuwen » 07 Jun 2019, 21:11

MAGA-Force: ARE YOU READY TO UNLEASH THE FUCKING FREEDOM!!!!!!!!

Image

Image

Image



You better believe I'm ready.
Goddamn libertarian message board. Hugh Akston

leave me to my mescaline smoothie in peace, please. dhex

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Kolohe
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by Kolohe » 07 Jun 2019, 21:41

Mars ain't no place to raise your kids, Pham.
when you wake up as the queen of the n=1 kingdom and mount your steed non sequiturius, do you look out upon all you survey and think “damn, it feels good to be a green idea sleeping furiously?" - dhex

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thoreau
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by thoreau » 08 Jun 2019, 00:00

Frederick Douglass is an example of someone who has done an amazing job and is being recognized more and more for his contributions to Mars exploration.

It's tragic that his plans were shelved after the Apollo 1 astronauts died in the Bowling Green Massacre.

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"They were basically like D&D min maxers, but instead of pissing off their DM, they destroyed the global economy. Also, instead of their DM making a level 7 paladin fight a beholder as punishment, he got a +3 sword of turning."
--Mo

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Jennifer
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by Jennifer » 08 Jun 2019, 01:27

Quit making jokes about the Bowling Green Massacre, Thoreau. They're not funny. My boyfriend, the rich sexy Chippendale-dancer astronaut, nearly died there. (Y'all don't know him, though. He posts at a different forum. In Canada.)
"Myself, despite what they say about libertarians, I think we're actually allowed to pursue options beyond futility or sucking the dicks of the powerful." -- Eric the .5b

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Aresen
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by Aresen » 10 Jun 2019, 20:14

If Trump supporters wanted a tough guy, why did they elect such a whiny bitch? - Mo

Those who know history are doomed to deja vu. - the innominate one

Never bring a knife to a joke fight" - dhex

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Ellie
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by Ellie » 14 Jun 2019, 16:32

Shared on Facebook by my mother-in-law:
HOW I FEEL ABOUT TRUMP You've been on vacation for two weeks, you come home, and your basement is infested with raccoons. Hundreds of rabid, messy, mean raccoons have overtaken your basement. You want them gone immediately. You call the city and 4 different exterminators, but nobody can handle the job. But there is this one guy and he guarantees to get rid of them, so you hire him. You don't care if the guy smells, you don't care if the guy swears, you don't care if he's an alcoholic, you don't care how many times he's been married, you don't care if he has a plumber's crack, you simply want those raccoons gone! You want your problem fixed! He's the guy. He's the best!

Here's why we want Trump. Yes he's a bit of a jerk; yes he's an egomaniac; but we don't care. The country is a mess because politicians suck, the Republicans and Democrats can be two-faced and gutless, and illegals are everywhere. We want it all fixed! We don't care that Trump is crude, we don't care that he insults people, we don't care that he has changed positions, we don't care that he's been married 3 times, we don't care that he fights with Megyn Kelly and Rosie O'Donnell, we don't care that he doesn't know the name of some Muslim terrorist.

This country became weak and bankrupt, our enemies were making fun of us, we are being invaded by illegals, we are becoming a nation of victims where every Tom, Ricardo, and Hasid is a special group with special rights to a point where we don't even recognize the country we were born and raised in; " AND WE JUST WANT IT FIXED ". And Trump is the only guy who seems to understand what the people want.

We're sick of politicians, sick of the Democratic Party, the Republican Party, and sick of illegals. We just want this thing fixed . Trump may not be a saint, but we didn’t vote for a Pope. We voted for a man who doesn't have lobbyist money holding him back, a man who doesn't have political correctness restraining him. We all know that he has been very successful, he’s a good negotiator, he has built a lot of things, and he's also not a politician, not a cowardly politician. And he says he'll fix it. And we believe him because he is too much of an egotist to be proven wrong or looked at and called a liar. Also, we don't care if the guy has bad hair. We just want those raccoons gone, out of our house, NOW .

You are welcome to pass this on. Thousands of people who haven't voted in 25 years seem to be getting involved. The raccoons have got to go!
I attempted, via multiple Biblical references and extreme politeness, to imply she should eat shit and die for comparing migrants in peril to vermin needing to be exterminated. The rest of the Trump-sucking, though, is just too exhausting to address.
"2019 has got to stop injecting dmt straight in the dick hole." - dhex

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Jennifer
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by Jennifer » 14 Jun 2019, 16:36

At least she complained about "raccoons" rather than just plain "coons." Because the latter would be racist, and I'm sure she definitely wouldn't want to be THAT, lest those Ricardos and Hasids she complained about take offense. :roll:
"Myself, despite what they say about libertarians, I think we're actually allowed to pursue options beyond futility or sucking the dicks of the powerful." -- Eric the .5b

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Painboy
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by Painboy » 14 Jun 2019, 17:08

Ellie wrote:
14 Jun 2019, 16:32
Shared on Facebook by my mother-in-law:
HOW I FEEL ABOUT TRUMP You've been on vacation for two weeks, you come home, and your basement is infested with raccoons. Hundreds of rabid, messy, mean raccoons have overtaken your basement. You want them gone immediately. You call the city and 4 different exterminators, but nobody can handle the job. But there is this one guy and he guarantees to get rid of them, so you hire him. You don't care if the guy smells, you don't care if the guy swears, you don't care if he's an alcoholic, you don't care how many times he's been married, you don't care if he has a plumber's crack, you simply want those raccoons gone! You want your problem fixed! He's the guy. He's the best!

Here's why we want Trump. Yes he's a bit of a jerk; yes he's an egomaniac; but we don't care. The country is a mess because politicians suck, the Republicans and Democrats can be two-faced and gutless, and illegals are everywhere. We want it all fixed! We don't care that Trump is crude, we don't care that he insults people, we don't care that he has changed positions, we don't care that he's been married 3 times, we don't care that he fights with Megyn Kelly and Rosie O'Donnell, we don't care that he doesn't know the name of some Muslim terrorist.

This country became weak and bankrupt, our enemies were making fun of us, we are being invaded by illegals, we are becoming a nation of victims where every Tom, Ricardo, and Hasid is a special group with special rights to a point where we don't even recognize the country we were born and raised in; " AND WE JUST WANT IT FIXED ". And Trump is the only guy who seems to understand what the people want.

We're sick of politicians, sick of the Democratic Party, the Republican Party, and sick of illegals. We just want this thing fixed . Trump may not be a saint, but we didn’t vote for a Pope. We voted for a man who doesn't have lobbyist money holding him back, a man who doesn't have political correctness restraining him. We all know that he has been very successful, he’s a good negotiator, he has built a lot of things, and he's also not a politician, not a cowardly politician. And he says he'll fix it. And we believe him because he is too much of an egotist to be proven wrong or looked at and called a liar. Also, we don't care if the guy has bad hair. We just want those raccoons gone, out of our house, NOW .

You are welcome to pass this on. Thousands of people who haven't voted in 25 years seem to be getting involved. The raccoons have got to go!
I attempted, via multiple Biblical references and extreme politeness, to imply she should eat shit and die for comparing migrants in peril to vermin needing to be exterminated. The rest of the Trump-sucking, though, is just too exhausting to address.
Look they just want someone to stand up and be strong enough to take care of things. Get things back on track. Like an older sibling would. A big brother if you will.

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Jennifer
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by Jennifer » 14 Jun 2019, 17:12

In all seriousness, I still don't understand how "multiple bankruptcies, including one where he lost money running a fucking casino" translates to "very successful."

"he has built a lot of things" He sure has. Stroll down the scenic boardwalk of Atlantic City and you can still see many buildings with up to three of the five letters of his last name still attached!
"Myself, despite what they say about libertarians, I think we're actually allowed to pursue options beyond futility or sucking the dicks of the powerful." -- Eric the .5b

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Ellie
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by Ellie » 14 Jun 2019, 17:16

My personal favorite part is when they say they know he won't fail because he's too much of an egotist to allow himself to look bad, and then the very next sentence is "he has bad hair."
"2019 has got to stop injecting dmt straight in the dick hole." - dhex

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