Orange is the new President

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Mo
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by Mo » 05 Jun 2018, 01:50

So here’s my pitch, it’s like my first book, but from a first person point of view.

https://www.buzzfeed.com/stevenperlberg ... ook-around
his voice is so soothing, but why do conspiracy nuts always sound like Batman and Robin solving one of Riddler's puzzles out loud? - fod

no one ever yells worldstar when a pet gets fucked up - dhex

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Kolohe
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by Kolohe » 05 Jun 2018, 10:18

2 Derelict 2 Duty.

In fairness to McM (and I mean this with some sincerity), he did seem like he did his best with what he got. I can't really point to a glaring foreign policy clusterfuck on his watch that wasn't someone already present (or wouldn't have been done by a replacement level Republican administration)

At the very least, his tenure was short. The biggest mistake LBJ made was hanging on to all the dudes from JFK's time who had already demonstrated bad judgement and self serving advice.
when you wake up as the queen of the n=1 kingdom and mount your steed non sequiturius, do you look out upon all you survey and think “damn, it feels good to be a green idea sleeping furiously?" - dhex

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Mo
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by Mo » 06 Jun 2018, 13:19

Finally someone alive and deserving got pardoned/commuted.
his voice is so soothing, but why do conspiracy nuts always sound like Batman and Robin solving one of Riddler's puzzles out loud? - fod

no one ever yells worldstar when a pet gets fucked up - dhex

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Ellie
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by Ellie » 06 Jun 2018, 13:37

Good on you, Trump. I mean, fuck you for a lot of reasons, and fuck the justice system for all the other people it's insanely jailed, but good on you for this one.
I should have listened to Warren. He was right again as usual.

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Jennifer
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by Jennifer » 06 Jun 2018, 15:52

Good on Kim Kardashian for making the request, too.
"Myself, despite what they say about libertarians, I think we're actually allowed to pursue options beyond futility or sucking the dicks of the powerful." -- Eric the .5b

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Jennifer
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by Jennifer » 06 Jun 2018, 15:59

Apparently Trump thinks Canada torched the White House in the War of 1812, thus justifying tariffs against the Canadians 206 years later.
"Myself, despite what they say about libertarians, I think we're actually allowed to pursue options beyond futility or sucking the dicks of the powerful." -- Eric the .5b

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Eric the .5b
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by Eric the .5b » 06 Jun 2018, 16:04

Jennifer wrote:
06 Jun 2018, 15:59
Apparently Trump thinks Canada torched the White House in the War of 1812, thus justifying tariffs against the Canadians 206 years later.
Perhaps justice for their loudly pretending they did it for over two centuries?
"Better that ten guilty persons escape than that one innocent suffer."
"Cyberpunk never really gave the government enough credit for their ability to secure a favorable prenup during the Corporate-State wedding." - Shem

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Jennifer
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by Jennifer » 06 Jun 2018, 16:19

Eric the .5b wrote:
06 Jun 2018, 16:04
Jennifer wrote:
06 Jun 2018, 15:59
Apparently Trump thinks Canada torched the White House in the War of 1812, thus justifying tariffs against the Canadians 206 years later.
Perhaps justice for their loudly pretending they did it for over two centuries?
More likely a combination of Trump's invincible ignorance and complete lack of a filter between his mouth and the cesspool that passes for his brain. Jesus, has anybody even tried telling that buffoon that, whatever beefs we might've had with Canada back when they were still a British dominion (and our relationship with Britain was "frenemies" at best), they've been a close ally of ours longer than that twit has been alive?
"Myself, despite what they say about libertarians, I think we're actually allowed to pursue options beyond futility or sucking the dicks of the powerful." -- Eric the .5b

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Mo
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by Mo » 06 Jun 2018, 17:12

I’m surprised Trump knew that. Though by knew that I mean, “Had it fed to him by racist Riff Raff “
his voice is so soothing, but why do conspiracy nuts always sound like Batman and Robin solving one of Riddler's puzzles out loud? - fod

no one ever yells worldstar when a pet gets fucked up - dhex

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Eric the .5b
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by Eric the .5b » 06 Jun 2018, 19:22

Jennifer wrote:
06 Jun 2018, 16:19
Eric the .5b wrote:
06 Jun 2018, 16:04
Jennifer wrote:
06 Jun 2018, 15:59
Apparently Trump thinks Canada torched the White House in the War of 1812, thus justifying tariffs against the Canadians 206 years later.
Perhaps justice for their loudly pretending they did it for over two centuries?
More likely a combination of Trump's invincible ignorance and complete lack of a filter between his mouth and the cesspool that passes for his brain. Jesus, has anybody even tried telling that buffoon that, whatever beefs we might've had with Canada back when they were still a British dominion (and our relationship with Britain was "frenemies" at best), they've been a close ally of ours longer than that twit has been alive?
It's a joke, and a rather obvious one.
"Better that ten guilty persons escape than that one innocent suffer."
"Cyberpunk never really gave the government enough credit for their ability to secure a favorable prenup during the Corporate-State wedding." - Shem

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Jennifer
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by Jennifer » 06 Jun 2018, 19:28

Eric the .5b wrote:
06 Jun 2018, 19:22
Jennifer wrote:
06 Jun 2018, 16:19
Eric the .5b wrote:
06 Jun 2018, 16:04
Jennifer wrote:
06 Jun 2018, 15:59
Apparently Trump thinks Canada torched the White House in the War of 1812, thus justifying tariffs against the Canadians 206 years later.
Perhaps justice for their loudly pretending they did it for over two centuries?
More likely a combination of Trump's invincible ignorance and complete lack of a filter between his mouth and the cesspool that passes for his brain. Jesus, has anybody even tried telling that buffoon that, whatever beefs we might've had with Canada back when they were still a British dominion (and our relationship with Britain was "frenemies" at best), they've been a close ally of ours longer than that twit has been alive?
It's a joke, and a rather obvious one.
Oops. Trump's moved the non-satirical Overton window so damn far, I plain can't even tell anymore.

Seen somewhere on Twitter today, though I don't feel like scrolling back through my feed to look for it: something to the effect of "Is Trump trying to alienate all of America's friends, or is he really that fucking dumb?"
"Myself, despite what they say about libertarians, I think we're actually allowed to pursue options beyond futility or sucking the dicks of the powerful." -- Eric the .5b

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nicole
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by nicole » 06 Jun 2018, 23:28

Mo wrote:
06 Jun 2018, 17:12
I’m surprised Trump knew that. Though by knew that I mean, “Had it fed to him by racist Riff Raff “
This
"Fucking qualia." -Hugh Akston

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dhex
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by dhex » 07 Jun 2018, 07:35

anyone else i'd sign on for joke.

this one tho...not sure. benefit of the doubt died in like 89.
"I do wear my New Balance tennis shoes when I'm wearing cargo shorts, though, because truth in advertising." - lunch

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Jasper
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by Jasper » 07 Jun 2018, 08:53

Mo wrote:
06 Jun 2018, 17:12
I’m surprised Trump knew that. Though by knew that I mean, “Had it fed to him by racist Riff Raff “
Definitely a neonazi. From space.

Image
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lunchstealer
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by lunchstealer » 07 Jun 2018, 09:12

I kept trying to make Riff Raff into either an Insane Clown Posse member or one of the Jackass performers.
"The constitution is more of a BDSM agreement with a safe word." - Sandy

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JD
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by JD » 07 Jun 2018, 13:26

Trump claims that Texans had to be rescued by the Coast Guard during Hurricane Harvey because they "went out in their boats to watch the hurricane." Nobody who was actually there has any idea what he's talking about.
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Kwix
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by Kwix » 07 Jun 2018, 16:03

When Trump got into the race I thought, "well this will be worth some popcorn." I am fucking tired of popcorn, and winning, and popcorn.
"pedialyte is like planned parenthood for hangovers. it costs you a bit, but it makes your little problem go away until the next time you drink too much."-- dhex
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Aresen
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by Aresen » 07 Jun 2018, 16:14

JD wrote:
07 Jun 2018, 13:26
Trump claims that Texans had to be rescued by the Coast Guard during Hurricane Harvey because they "went out in their boats to watch the hurricane." Nobody who was actually there has any idea what he's talking about.
Actually, it was paparazzi watching Harvey Weinstein.
If Trump supporters wanted a tough guy, why did they elect such a whiny bitch? - Mo

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Eric the .5b
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by Eric the .5b » 07 Jun 2018, 19:19

JD wrote:
07 Jun 2018, 13:26
Trump claims that Texans had to be rescued by the Coast Guard during Hurricane Harvey because they "went out in their boats to watch the hurricane." Nobody who was actually there has any idea what he's talking about.
...Wat.
"Better that ten guilty persons escape than that one innocent suffer."
"Cyberpunk never really gave the government enough credit for their ability to secure a favorable prenup during the Corporate-State wedding." - Shem

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Jake
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by Jake » 10 Jun 2018, 18:52

"TIL that it's genetically impossible for whales to have evolved from leg-having ancestors, millions of scientists are signing a petition to stop the teaching of evolution and evolution isn't real because Nazis wanted to kill all the Jews. Alternately, I met a moron at the museum." -- TIO

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thoreau
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by thoreau » 10 Jun 2018, 19:08

Don't worry, tovarisch. Trump make new allies for America.
"ike Wile E. Coyote salivating over a "4000 Ways To Prepare Roadrunner" cookbook without watching his surroundings, the Road Runner of Societal Inertia snuck up on them both and beepbeeped them off the mesa."
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Kolohe
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by Kolohe » 10 Jun 2018, 19:44

Russia does form a northern border of the US in the Bering Sea.
when you wake up as the queen of the n=1 kingdom and mount your steed non sequiturius, do you look out upon all you survey and think “damn, it feels good to be a green idea sleeping furiously?" - dhex

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lunchstealer
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by lunchstealer » 10 Jun 2018, 22:26

Jake wrote:
10 Jun 2018, 18:52
Finally, the administration is working to end our long national nightmare of having a friendly nation on our northern border!
I was gonna make a woodchipper-of-doom joke about the 'special place in hell' bit, but then I realized that that was Preet Bharara, so...
"The constitution is more of a BDSM agreement with a safe word." - Sandy

"Neoliberalism. Austerity. Booga booga!!!!" - JasonL

"We can't confirm rumors that Lynndie England is in the running to be Gina Haspel's personal aide." - DAR

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Aresen
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by Aresen » 10 Jun 2018, 22:30

Anybody who has lived through a Canadian winter knows all about that 'special place in Hell'. (It really is frozen over.)
If Trump supporters wanted a tough guy, why did they elect such a whiny bitch? - Mo

Those who know history are doomed to deja vu. - the innominate one

Most people don't realize Stephen King downplayed the horror that is Maine. - Jennifer

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thoreau
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Re: Orange is the new President

Post by thoreau » 11 Jun 2018, 00:07

Why is he complaining to Emmanuel Macron about German cars?

https://www.marketwatch.com/story/trump ... 2018-06-10

Is he aware that France and Germany are separate countries?

"ike Wile E. Coyote salivating over a "4000 Ways To Prepare Roadrunner" cookbook without watching his surroundings, the Road Runner of Societal Inertia snuck up on them both and beepbeeped them off the mesa."
--Shem

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