The F Word

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D.A. Ridgely
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Re: The F Word

Post by D.A. Ridgely »

Ellie wrote:
22 Feb 2020, 10:20
I wanted to pick a new last name together when we got married, but David wouldn't go for it, and yes, I do still resent him for that :D
Probably because "David Mae Clampett" doesn't have the same ring.

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JasonL
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Re: The F Word

Post by JasonL »

Jasper wrote:
20 Feb 2020, 15:13
Hugh Akston wrote:
20 Feb 2020, 11:44
I mean... I can't tell if he means to own himself all the time, like performance art or something.
More like Why-glesias, amirite?

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Dangerman
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Re: The F Word

Post by Dangerman »

Shem wrote:
21 Feb 2020, 20:52
Dangerman wrote:
21 Feb 2020, 19:37
My parents keep their family names and gave my sister and I a hyphen, which I don't recommend to anybody.
I think I can probably guess, but I'm still curious to know why.
Also, I know several Boomer couples who combined their names into some kind of portmanteau for their kids.
I just don't get that. The point of giving your kid your name is a link with history. If you're going to break with that, why not just go all in and give the kid something cool like "Rowsdower?"
My full name is 26 letters plus a hyphen. That's a pain. Databases don't universally, or even usually, accept hyphens as a character. That's a double pain. And people have a hard time connecting my double name to my parents for some reason.

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Eric the .5b
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Re: The F Word

Post by Eric the .5b »

Mo wrote:
22 Feb 2020, 11:01
Warren wrote:
22 Feb 2020, 10:04
Mo wrote:
22 Feb 2020, 09:44
Being mononymous has a whole host of other paperwork issues.
Really? Like what?
Try to make a hotel or flight reservation without a last name. I would hypothesize that at least two thirds of databases in the public and private sector have first and last name as a mandatory field.
Oh, yeah. You can go to management or clients with "Falsehoods Programmers Believe About Names" all you want, but they want those mandatory and filled in.

Mind, a lot of celebrities known by a moniker still have their birth names as their legal names. Gordon Sumner doesn't bother with the UI problems of just entering "Sting", he just rolls his eyes if something asks for his middle name and doesn't take two words.
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D.A. Ridgely
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Re: The F Word

Post by D.A. Ridgely »

Eric the .5b wrote:
22 Feb 2020, 19:54
Mo wrote:
22 Feb 2020, 11:01
Warren wrote:
22 Feb 2020, 10:04
Mo wrote:
22 Feb 2020, 09:44
Being mononymous has a whole host of other paperwork issues.
Really? Like what?
Try to make a hotel or flight reservation without a last name. I would hypothesize that at least two thirds of databases in the public and private sector have first and last name as a mandatory field.
Oh, yeah. You can go to management or clients with "Falsehoods Programmers Believe About Names" all you want, but they want those mandatory and filled in.

Mind, a lot of celebrities known by a moniker still have their birth names as their legal names. Gordon Sumner doesn't bother with the UI problems of just entering "Sting", he just rolls his eyes if something asks for his middle name and doesn't take two words.
I'd guess he doesn't spend much time filling out those form no matter what they say.

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Shem
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Re: The F Word

Post by Shem »

Warren wrote:
22 Feb 2020, 11:04
Mo wrote:
22 Feb 2020, 11:01
Warren wrote:
22 Feb 2020, 10:04
Mo wrote:
22 Feb 2020, 09:44
Being mononymous has a whole host of other paperwork issues.
Really? Like what?
Try to make a hotel or flight reservation without a last name. I would hypothesize that at least two thirds of databases in the public and private sector have first and last name as a mandatory field.
Yeah okay. But I'd think you could use "n/a" or "none" or something.
Then you go through life with the last name "None."
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Mo
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Re: The F Word

Post by Mo »

Warren wrote:
22 Feb 2020, 11:04
Mo wrote:
22 Feb 2020, 11:01
Warren wrote:
22 Feb 2020, 10:04
Mo wrote:
22 Feb 2020, 09:44
Being mononymous has a whole host of other paperwork issues.
Really? Like what?
Try to make a hotel or flight reservation without a last name. I would hypothesize that at least two thirds of databases in the public and private sector have first and last name as a mandatory field.
Yeah okay. But I'd think you could use "n/a" or "none" or something.
What Shem said. I know someone from Asia whose visa says, LNU (last name unknown) because of some mixup regarding his last name because he’s from a culture where they didn’t have formal family names and him saying “son of X” didn’t get captured in the last name.
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Shem
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Re: The F Word

Post by Shem »

Mo wrote:
23 Feb 2020, 02:45
I know someone from Asia whose visa says, LNU (last name unknown) because of some mixup regarding his last name because he’s from a culture where they didn’t have formal family names and him saying “son of X” didn’t get captured in the last name.
Which is totally understandable since it's not like we have two sub-national regions settled heavily by people who came here with patronymic name practices, or that many of their cultural practices have become celebrated parts of American life.
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thoreau
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Re: The F Word

Post by thoreau »

Shem wrote:
23 Feb 2020, 12:40
Mo wrote:
23 Feb 2020, 02:45
I know someone from Asia whose visa says, LNU (last name unknown) because of some mixup regarding his last name because he’s from a culture where they didn’t have formal family names and him saying “son of X” didn’t get captured in the last name.
Which is totally understandable since it's not like we have two sub-national regions settled heavily by people who came here with patronymic name practices, or that many of their cultural practices have become celebrated parts of American life.
I'm guessing you're talking about Alaska (settled by Russians) and Minnesota/Dakotas (settled by Scandinavians), but I'm not sure which Russian or Scandinavian cultural practices have become particularly celebrated in US life.
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Aresen
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Re: The F Word

Post by Aresen »

thoreau wrote:
23 Feb 2020, 12:45
I'm not sure which Russian ... cultural practices have become particularly celebrated in US life.
Invading other countries?
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dead_elvis
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Re: The F Word

Post by dead_elvis »

Aresen wrote:
23 Feb 2020, 13:24
thoreau wrote:
23 Feb 2020, 12:45
I'm not sure which Russian ... cultural practices have become particularly celebrated in US life.
Invading other countries?
And interfering in elections?
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Shem
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Re: The F Word

Post by Shem »

thoreau wrote:
23 Feb 2020, 12:45
Shem wrote:
23 Feb 2020, 12:40
Mo wrote:
23 Feb 2020, 02:45
I know someone from Asia whose visa says, LNU (last name unknown) because of some mixup regarding his last name because he’s from a culture where they didn’t have formal family names and him saying “son of X” didn’t get captured in the last name.
Which is totally understandable since it's not like we have two sub-national regions settled heavily by people who came here with patronymic name practices, or that many of their cultural practices have become celebrated parts of American life.
I'm guessing you're talking about Alaska (settled by Russians) and Minnesota/Dakotas (settled by Scandinavians), but I'm not sure which Russian or Scandinavian cultural practices have become particularly celebrated in US life.
The upper Midwest and Pacific Northwest were both heavily settled by Norwegian and Swedish immigrants. As for cultural practices, you have to be joking. Trolls? Vikings? Public radio?
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thoreau
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Re: The F Word

Post by thoreau »

Ah, celebrated, as opposed to adopted. Got it.
" Columbus wasn’t a profile in courage or brilliance despite the odds, he was a dumb motherfucker that got lucky. Oddly, that makes him the perfect talisman for the Trump era."
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lunchstealer
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Re: The F Word

Post by lunchstealer »

Shem wrote:
21 Feb 2020, 20:52
Dangerman wrote:
21 Feb 2020, 19:37
Also, I know several Boomer couples who combined their names into some kind of portmanteau for their kids.
I just don't get that. The point of giving your kid your name is a link with history. If you're going to break with that, why not just go all in and give the kid something cool like "Rowsdower?"
Because no kid should have to live up to those kinds of expectations.
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thoreau
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Re: The F Word

Post by thoreau »

This article on The Wing is utterly unsurprising.

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/17/maga ... -wing.html

Mind you, I don't think all of the criticisms are reasonable (it's an expensive private club, of course it's expensive, snobby, etc.), but when you promise Utopia you will disappoint the reasonable and unreasonable alike, and everyone will lose all sense of proportion.
" Columbus wasn’t a profile in courage or brilliance despite the odds, he was a dumb motherfucker that got lucky. Oddly, that makes him the perfect talisman for the Trump era."
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nicole
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Re: The F Word

Post by nicole »

I thought there was like one single reasonable criticism in the whole thing when I read it last night. "They treated us like 'the help'!" You literally were the help, motherfucker! You were literally a servant working at a private club! I just feel like the people who took these jobs are so dumb, why would anyone ever sympathize with them?
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thoreau
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Re: The F Word

Post by thoreau »

Anytime someone brags very loudly about how enlightened their work culture is, that means it's nothing but drama.

The best criticism of the place is that, from top to bottom, everyone is desperately invested in a narrative about the help being something other than the help. When everyone desperately needs to believe a lie in order to keep the place running, it's a shit-show.

Also, this:

https://www.thecut.com/2019/04/how-i-ge ... -wing.html

Just, everything in that.
" Columbus wasn’t a profile in courage or brilliance despite the odds, he was a dumb motherfucker that got lucky. Oddly, that makes him the perfect talisman for the Trump era."
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Painboy
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Re: The F Word

Post by Painboy »

thoreau wrote:
18 Mar 2020, 10:44
This article on The Wing is utterly unsurprising.

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/17/maga ... -wing.html

Mind you, I don't think all of the criticisms are reasonable (it's an expensive private club, of course it's expensive, snobby, etc.), but when you promise Utopia you will disappoint the reasonable and unreasonable alike, and everyone will lose all sense of proportion.
I don't know if there is anything more risible to me than elites acting like they're not elites.

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thoreau
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Re: The F Word

Post by thoreau »

Elite feminists can't quite figure out if their goal should be to enjoy the same status as men of their class, or to elevate all women to their status. They know the second one is not actually feasible (at least the "all" part) nor desirable in their eyes (elite women have no reason to like women commoners), but they feel more anxious about their status than their male liberal elite counterparts. So they have to pretend that the woman serving coffee at the fancy private club is not the help but rather a full empowered partner in their shared women's safe space yadda yadda.

EDIT: But, honestly, this is nothing new. What's in some ways a bit more unique and laughable is the way that any minor deviation from perfection apparently elicits freakouts from upper management. The managers of businesses that cater to elites need to understand that their role is to be solicitous but calm when the pampered clientele freak out. You might need to display a bit of choreographed emotion when offering the high-maintenance customer your utmost sympathy, but behind closed doors you either discipline the staff swiftly or commend them for having their shit sufficiently together to apologize to the fussy customer despite the customer being a total mess.
" Columbus wasn’t a profile in courage or brilliance despite the odds, he was a dumb motherfucker that got lucky. Oddly, that makes him the perfect talisman for the Trump era."
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thoreau
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Re: The F Word

Post by thoreau »

I find it fascinating that even a strong feminist like Jessica Valenti can't or won't make her husband contribute equally to housework and childcare responsibilities.

“Why Quarantine Could — But Won’t — Change Gender Roles at Home” by Jessica Valenti https://link.medium.com/FRA4BZMqS5

She writes about it like it's a problem that society must address collectively, even though she is under the same roof as an apparent culprit, presumably able to negotiate the terms of her relationship with him, and presumably stronger and more knowledgeable about gender relations than most people.

Now, yes, relationships are complicated, and sometimes getting your spouse to contribute more is not just about issuing an ultimatum. Still, I guess I naively figured someone who eats, sleeps, and breathes gender issues would have put a lot more effort into either negotiating a more equal relationship or getting out.
" Columbus wasn’t a profile in courage or brilliance despite the odds, he was a dumb motherfucker that got lucky. Oddly, that makes him the perfect talisman for the Trump era."
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Eric the .5b
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Re: The F Word

Post by Eric the .5b »

thoreau wrote:
21 Apr 2020, 19:03
I find it fascinating that even a strong feminist like Jessica Valenti can't or won't make her husband contribute equally to housework and childcare responsibilities.
Does she have a husband or boyfriend?

I didn't notice any mention of a man in her household in the article.
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thoreau
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Re: The F Word

Post by thoreau »

Eric the .5b wrote:
21 Apr 2020, 19:29
thoreau wrote:
21 Apr 2020, 19:03
I find it fascinating that even a strong feminist like Jessica Valenti can't or won't make her husband contribute equally to housework and childcare responsibilities.
Does she have a husband or boyfriend?

I didn't notice any mention of a man in her household in the article.
From her website:
She has a Masters degree in Gender Studies from Rutgers University and lives in Brooklyn with her husband and daughter.
(link in original)

From her husband's website:
He lives in Brooklyn, New York with his wife, feminist author and activist Jessica Valenti, their daughter, and two dogs.
Her husband's job is in NYC media, i.e. a job that can mostly be done from home right now, in all likelihood, just like hers. If it's sexist for her paid employment to take second priority to child-rearing and housework while he's focused on his paid employment, well, I wonder why she sees this as a problem for the wider society to solve. She'd probably say that it's hard to resist the societal programming that makes women accept these roles while men shirk, and I guess I'd say that there's no doubt some truth in that, but it's remarkable that even she seems helpless before it. I mean, I don't expect a person with a graduate degree in gender studies to have a perfectly egalitarian relationship, anymore than I expect a doctor or nurse to be in perfect health, but I guess I figured they'd be a little better at it than the rest of us poor slobs.
" Columbus wasn’t a profile in courage or brilliance despite the odds, he was a dumb motherfucker that got lucky. Oddly, that makes him the perfect talisman for the Trump era."
--Mo

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Eric the .5b
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Re: The F Word

Post by Eric the .5b »

thoreau wrote:
21 Apr 2020, 19:55
Eric the .5b wrote:
21 Apr 2020, 19:29
thoreau wrote:
21 Apr 2020, 19:03
I find it fascinating that even a strong feminist like Jessica Valenti can't or won't make her husband contribute equally to housework and childcare responsibilities.
Does she have a husband or boyfriend?

I didn't notice any mention of a man in her household in the article.
From her website:
OK.

Maybe he just fucks like a freight train?
"Better that ten guilty persons escape than that one innocent suffer."
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Warren
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Re: The F Word

Post by Warren »

Eric the .5b wrote:
21 Apr 2020, 20:14
thoreau wrote:
21 Apr 2020, 19:55
Eric the .5b wrote:
21 Apr 2020, 19:29
thoreau wrote:
21 Apr 2020, 19:03
I find it fascinating that even a strong feminist like Jessica Valenti can't or won't make her husband contribute equally to housework and childcare responsibilities.
Does she have a husband or boyfriend?

I didn't notice any mention of a man in her household in the article.
From her website:
OK.

Maybe he just fucks like a freight train?
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thoreau
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Re: The F Word

Post by thoreau »

And now The Wing's CEO is stepping down.

https://www.businessinsider.com/audrey- ... ceo-2020-6

It's not surprising that a business based on in-person services would be struggling right now. What's amusing is that they are making this about "We just haven't seen Real Communism Intersectionality yet."
" Columbus wasn’t a profile in courage or brilliance despite the odds, he was a dumb motherfucker that got lucky. Oddly, that makes him the perfect talisman for the Trump era."
--Mo

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