Happy Not Canada Day

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thoreau
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Joined: 06 May 2010, 12:56
Location: Back to the lab again

Happy Not Canada Day

Post by thoreau » 05 Jul 2015, 01:51

I've been in Santa Barbara for a conference the past few weeks, so we went to the beach to see fireworks. There wasn't much wind, and the fireworks were low to the ground, so the smoke blocked out a lot of the show, providing everyone with a graphic reminder of the air quality that Southern Californians take for granted. On the walk back from the beach, a bunch of guys who seemed to be of South Asian descent kept shouting "U-S-A! U-S-A!" Some bitch near us muttered "They don't even live here" even though they gave no evidence of being foreign. She gave a great example of why guys of South Asian descent might feel the need to make ostentatious displays of American patriotism.

Anyway, while I'm not a patriot, I think that the President of the US should celebrate July 4th in the following manner:
1) Drop off a thank-you gift at the French Embassy.
2) Drop off a sympathy note at the Canadian Embassy.
3) Drop off a flaming bag of poop at the British Embassy.
4) Invite some random tourists to barbecue with him at the White House, and then get into an argument over how to stack the coals. Because that's about as American as it gets.
"The first rule of Grylliade club is 'Why are we talking about Grylliade club?'"
--Jake

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