Market Failure!

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thoreau
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Re: Market Failure!

Post by thoreau » 01 Apr 2011, 16:30

Stevo Darkly wrote:A back facial?

No non-indecent
TEH TRIPLE NEGATIVE! IT BURNS!
"They were basically like D&D min maxers, but instead of pissing off their DM, they destroyed the global economy. Also, instead of their DM making a level 7 paladin fight a beholder as punishment, he got a +3 sword of turning."
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Re: Market Failure!

Post by Jadagul » 02 Apr 2011, 18:08

Pham Nuwen wrote:
Ellie wrote:Why is LivingSocial trying to sell me a half-price "back facial"?
That's . . . what . . . she said? *shrugs*
I think my favorite unintentional double entendre of all time comes from Rhywun several years ago on H&R. There was some discussion of massage parlors and how some people are uncomfortable with their significant others getting professional massages, and
Rhywun wrote: RE: the idea that massage is not sexual

Americans universally seek a massage therapist of the same gender that they want to sleep with. There's nothing "pathological" about that. Rather, it's proof of the sensual nature of massage.

RE: the idea that massage is just like a manicure or a facial

I've never received a manicure or a facial during foreplay.
To which someone else (Stevo?) responded: "Yeah, if there's a facial involved, foreplay is definitely over."

here

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Stevo Darkly
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Re: Market Failure!

Post by Stevo Darkly » 04 Apr 2011, 16:27

Sadly, I cannot take credit for that remark by "Steve." By the end of 2004 I always signed my H&R comments with "Stevo Darkly" (or the occasional joke handle).
"I don't know if you can call it a stereotype when I was in a room full of people actually doing it." -- Keith S.

Norbert Wronkletoad
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Re: Market Failure!

Post by Norbert Wronkletoad » 05 Apr 2011, 09:03

zq
Last edited by Norbert Wronkletoad on 09 Nov 2011, 13:22, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Market Failure!

Post by Jake » 05 Apr 2011, 11:34

Norbert Wronkletoad wrote:The WEIBSKOBOLD shall pay you a visit.
Better warm up the Bouncy Bouncy Bouncinator!
"Facebook is like a locker room with all the players screaming at each other how much they have to win and then forgetting they have to take the field and actually play the gawddamn game." -- D.A. Ridgely

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Re: Market Failure!

Post by Stevo Darkly » 05 Apr 2011, 15:20

And the scented oils.

And the specially designed spanking mittens.

Oh ... and I'd better unlock the secret door and roll out The Device.
"I don't know if you can call it a stereotype when I was in a room full of people actually doing it." -- Keith S.

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Re: Market Failure!

Post by pistoffnick » 05 Apr 2011, 18:14

Stevo Darkly wrote:Oh ... and I'd better unlock the secret door and roll out The Device.
The Comfy Chair?
Always be suspicious of people who have, or crave, power. - Stanley Kubrick
"Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under." - H.L. Mencken
"The welfare of humanity is always the alibi of tyrants." - Albert Camus

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Re: Market Failure!

Post by Stevo Darkly » 05 Apr 2011, 23:38

It's more unspeakable than that.
"I don't know if you can call it a stereotype when I was in a room full of people actually doing it." -- Keith S.

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Re: Market Failure!

Post by Pham Nuwen » 06 Apr 2011, 02:01

Goddamn libertarian message board. Hugh Akston

leave me to my mescaline smoothie in peace, please. dhex

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Re: Market Failure!

Post by Shem » 06 Apr 2011, 03:19

"VOTE SHEMOCRACY! You will only have to do it once!" -Loyalty Officer Aresen

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Re: Market Failure!

Post by JD » 06 Apr 2011, 10:49

I think it's damn funny, although it would be a terrible idea IRL. I'm more offended by the shitty writing in the designbuzz article (that is not "a revolver", "personnel" is a collective noun so you can't say "a personnel", miscellaneous failures of subject-verb agreement, etc.)
I sort of feel like a sucker about aspiring to be intellectually rigorous when I could just go on twitter and say capitalism causes space herpes and no one will challenge me on it. - Hugh Akston

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Re: Market Failure!

Post by Pham Nuwen » 06 Apr 2011, 11:33

You fool! We live in a new time of police professionalism. An era where common sense reigns. I don't see how this could possibly have a down side.
Goddamn libertarian message board. Hugh Akston

leave me to my mescaline smoothie in peace, please. dhex

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Re: Market Failure!

Post by Jake » 06 Apr 2011, 11:33

JD wrote:I think it's damn funny, although it would be a terrible idea IRL.
It should be named "Handheld 'Isolated Incident' Generator."
"Facebook is like a locker room with all the players screaming at each other how much they have to win and then forgetting they have to take the field and actually play the gawddamn game." -- D.A. Ridgely

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Re: Market Failure!

Post by lunchstealer » 06 Apr 2011, 12:43

Jake wrote:
JD wrote:I think it's damn funny, although it would be a terrible idea IRL.
It should be named "Handheld 'Isolated Incident' Generator."
win
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Re: Market Failure!

Post by Mo » 11 Apr 2011, 21:09

Credit rating agencies make Russian spammers look like a legitimate business.

WTF, I have to pay you to see my credit score* or sign up for a sham of a free trial, difficulty to cancel** and a flurry of spam that would make a pr0n site blush. That's one industry I would happily hand over my decoder ring for. The amount of power they have about your credit score combined with the effect that it has on you plus the opacity of it is astonishing. It would be as if the government*** denied you from seeing your public record.

* As opposed to credit report
** Really, requiring a phone call as opposed to a web page link
*** Like the government, I have no choice but to deal with Transunion, Equifax and Experian
his voice is so soothing, but why do conspiracy nuts always sound like Batman and Robin solving one of Riddler's puzzles out loud? - fod

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Re: Market Failure!

Post by JasonL » 26 Apr 2011, 13:17

Products that claim to eliminate the persistent stank in Under Armor or other performance fabric exercise clothes seem to contain a good deal of Fail-Bi carbonate as a key ingredient. It surely can't be the case that my exercise stank is especially powerful. Surely.

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Re: Market Failure!

Post by Mo » 26 Apr 2011, 13:28

Same goes for trash bags that claim to eliminate odor. I doubt my trash is unusually stinky.
his voice is so soothing, but why do conspiracy nuts always sound like Batman and Robin solving one of Riddler's puzzles out loud? - fod

no one ever yells worldstar when a pet gets fucked up - dhex

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Re: Market Failure!

Post by Stevo Darkly » 27 Apr 2011, 17:15

Mo wrote:Same goes for trash bags that claim to eliminate odor. I doubt my trash is unusually stinky.
Incidentally, during my wilder, younger days*, I noticed that the Glad white kitchen trash bags with Odor ShieldTM smell exactly like a stripper.

Exactly.

*Mid-40s.
"I don't know if you can call it a stereotype when I was in a room full of people actually doing it." -- Keith S.

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Re: Market Failure!

Post by Dangerman » 08 May 2011, 02:40

No, you realized that strippers smell like...well, you know. Not all of them. I mean, yeah. sorry.

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Re: Market Failure!

Post by D.A. Ridgely » 08 May 2011, 10:34

I suppose it should be on my bucket list, but I have so far never smelled a stripper. So what do they smell like? I'm guessing it isn't Chanel No. 5.

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Re: Market Failure!

Post by Aresen » 08 May 2011, 10:39

D.A. Ridgely wrote:I suppose it should be on my bucket list, but I have so far never smelled a stripper. So what do they smell like? I'm guessing it isn't Chanel No. 5.
Chanel No. 69. Look for it in an "accessories" store near you.
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Re: Market Failure!

Post by Warren » 08 May 2011, 10:40

D.A. Ridgely wrote:So what do they smell like?
More often than not, self-loathing and sweat.
THIS SPACE FOR RENT

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Re: Market Failure!

Post by Sandy » 08 May 2011, 16:43

Warren wrote:
D.A. Ridgely wrote:So what do they smell like?
More often than not, self-loathing and sweat.
That's your upper lip.

Ba-dum-bum chsssh!
Hindu is the cricket of religions. You can observe it for years, you can have enthusiasts try to explain it to you, and it's still baffling. - Warren

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Re: Market Failure!

Post by JasonL » 08 May 2011, 16:48

I always thought it was self loathing, sweat, meth, and cocoa butter.

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Re: Market Failure!

Post by pistoffnick » 08 May 2011, 17:46

D.A. Ridgely wrote:I suppose it should be on my bucket list, but I have so far never smelled a stripper. So what do they smell like? I'm guessing it isn't Chanel No. 5.
Like really strong oranges:
Image
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"Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under." - H.L. Mencken
"The welfare of humanity is always the alibi of tyrants." - Albert Camus

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