Onion that could've been in The News

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thoreau
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by thoreau »

"They were basically like D&D min maxers, but instead of pissing off their DM, they destroyed the global economy. Also, instead of their DM making a level 7 paladin fight a beholder as punishment, he got a +3 sword of turning."
--Mo

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Mo
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by Mo »

his voice is so soothing, but why do conspiracy nuts always sound like Batman and Robin solving one of Riddler's puzzles out loud? - fod

no one ever yells worldstar when a pet gets fucked up - dhex

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thoreau
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by thoreau »

FBI Shuts Down Prominent New ISIS Recruitment Website
WASHINGTON—Saying the measure would greatly aid efforts to combat the rise of anti-American sentiment online, the FBI announced Tuesday that it had shut down a prominent new ISIS recruitment website, www.whitehouse.gov.
"They were basically like D&D min maxers, but instead of pissing off their DM, they destroyed the global economy. Also, instead of their DM making a level 7 paladin fight a beholder as punishment, he got a +3 sword of turning."
--Mo

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thoreau
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by thoreau »

"They were basically like D&D min maxers, but instead of pissing off their DM, they destroyed the global economy. Also, instead of their DM making a level 7 paladin fight a beholder as punishment, he got a +3 sword of turning."
--Mo

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lunchstealer
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by lunchstealer »

Ouch.
"The constitution is more of a BDSM agreement with a safe word." - Sandy

"Neoliberalism. Austerity. Booga booga!!!!" - JasonL

"We can't confirm rumors that Lynndie England is in the running to be Gina Haspel's personal aide." - DAR

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Mo
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by Mo »

When did db and dhex become writers for Clickhole?
his voice is so soothing, but why do conspiracy nuts always sound like Batman and Robin solving one of Riddler's puzzles out loud? - fod

no one ever yells worldstar when a pet gets fucked up - dhex

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dbcooper
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by dbcooper »

:)
Slip inside a sleeping bag.

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thoreau
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by thoreau »

The Onion has a trove of leaked documents from the White House:

http://www.theonion.com/trumpdocuments
"They were basically like D&D min maxers, but instead of pissing off their DM, they destroyed the global economy. Also, instead of their DM making a level 7 paladin fight a beholder as punishment, he got a +3 sword of turning."
--Mo

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thoreau
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by thoreau »

Fact-checking Jeff Sessions' testimony:

http://www.theonion.com/v/5915
"They were basically like D&D min maxers, but instead of pissing off their DM, they destroyed the global economy. Also, instead of their DM making a level 7 paladin fight a beholder as punishment, he got a +3 sword of turning."
--Mo

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thoreau
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by thoreau »

Fact-checking Ryan Lizza's interview with the Mooch:
“Get this through your head, you Jew motherfucker, you. You only exist out here because of me. That’s the only reason.”

FALSE: Sorry, this is Joe Pesci in Casino. We got confused.

“I’m going to fire every one of them…the entire place will be fired over the next two weeks.”

OH, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE BE TRUE: Seriously, please.

“This is a major catastrophe for the American country.”

TRUE: This is the most accurate statement yet made by an administration official.
"They were basically like D&D min maxers, but instead of pissing off their DM, they destroyed the global economy. Also, instead of their DM making a level 7 paladin fight a beholder as punishment, he got a +3 sword of turning."
--Mo

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thoreau
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

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"They were basically like D&D min maxers, but instead of pissing off their DM, they destroyed the global economy. Also, instead of their DM making a level 7 paladin fight a beholder as punishment, he got a +3 sword of turning."
--Mo

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thoreau
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by thoreau »

Item 4 is so dead-on that it's almost scary.

http://www.onionstudios.com/videos/5-th ... nders-6058
"They were basically like D&D min maxers, but instead of pissing off their DM, they destroyed the global economy. Also, instead of their DM making a level 7 paladin fight a beholder as punishment, he got a +3 sword of turning."
--Mo

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lunchstealer
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by lunchstealer »

"The constitution is more of a BDSM agreement with a safe word." - Sandy

"Neoliberalism. Austerity. Booga booga!!!!" - JasonL

"We can't confirm rumors that Lynndie England is in the running to be Gina Haspel's personal aide." - DAR

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thoreau
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by thoreau »

"They were basically like D&D min maxers, but instead of pissing off their DM, they destroyed the global economy. Also, instead of their DM making a level 7 paladin fight a beholder as punishment, he got a +3 sword of turning."
--Mo

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Aresen
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by Aresen »

If Trump supporters wanted a tough guy, why did they elect such a whiny bitch? - Mo

Those who know history are doomed to deja vu. - the innominate one

Never bring a knife to a joke fight" - dhex

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Warren
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by Warren »

Aresen wrote:
30 Sep 2017, 16:12
It makes sense in 11 dimensional chess.
I can only handle 8 dimensional chess, 9 on my best day.
THIS SPACE FOR RENT

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thoreau
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by thoreau »

"They were basically like D&D min maxers, but instead of pissing off their DM, they destroyed the global economy. Also, instead of their DM making a level 7 paladin fight a beholder as punishment, he got a +3 sword of turning."
--Mo

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thoreau
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by thoreau »

"They were basically like D&D min maxers, but instead of pissing off their DM, they destroyed the global economy. Also, instead of their DM making a level 7 paladin fight a beholder as punishment, he got a +3 sword of turning."
--Mo

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thoreau
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by thoreau »

"They were basically like D&D min maxers, but instead of pissing off their DM, they destroyed the global economy. Also, instead of their DM making a level 7 paladin fight a beholder as punishment, he got a +3 sword of turning."
--Mo

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thoreau
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by thoreau »

"They were basically like D&D min maxers, but instead of pissing off their DM, they destroyed the global economy. Also, instead of their DM making a level 7 paladin fight a beholder as punishment, he got a +3 sword of turning."
--Mo

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lunchstealer
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by lunchstealer »

"The constitution is more of a BDSM agreement with a safe word." - Sandy

"Neoliberalism. Austerity. Booga booga!!!!" - JasonL

"We can't confirm rumors that Lynndie England is in the running to be Gina Haspel's personal aide." - DAR

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Mo
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by Mo »

his voice is so soothing, but why do conspiracy nuts always sound like Batman and Robin solving one of Riddler's puzzles out loud? - fod

no one ever yells worldstar when a pet gets fucked up - dhex

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Sandy
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by Sandy »

With soundtrack by Russell Simmons?
Hindu is the cricket of religions. You can observe it for years, you can have enthusiasts try to explain it to you, and it's still baffling. - Warren

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Mo
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by Mo »

his voice is so soothing, but why do conspiracy nuts always sound like Batman and Robin solving one of Riddler's puzzles out loud? - fod

no one ever yells worldstar when a pet gets fucked up - dhex

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dbcooper
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by dbcooper »

Is he kicking into next level dementia?
Slip inside a sleeping bag.

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