Onion that could've been in The News

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thoreau
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by thoreau » 24 Jan 2017, 23:28

"ike Wile E. Coyote salivating over a "4000 Ways To Prepare Roadrunner" cookbook without watching his surroundings, the Road Runner of Societal Inertia snuck up on them both and beepbeeped them off the mesa."
--Shem

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Mo
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by Mo » 30 Jan 2017, 14:57

his voice is so soothing, but why do conspiracy nuts always sound like Batman and Robin solving one of Riddler's puzzles out loud? - fod

no one ever yells worldstar when a pet gets fucked up - dhex

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thoreau
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by thoreau » 31 Jan 2017, 19:25

FBI Shuts Down Prominent New ISIS Recruitment Website
WASHINGTON—Saying the measure would greatly aid efforts to combat the rise of anti-American sentiment online, the FBI announced Tuesday that it had shut down a prominent new ISIS recruitment website, www.whitehouse.gov.
"ike Wile E. Coyote salivating over a "4000 Ways To Prepare Roadrunner" cookbook without watching his surroundings, the Road Runner of Societal Inertia snuck up on them both and beepbeeped them off the mesa."
--Shem

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thoreau
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by thoreau » 03 Feb 2017, 18:10

"ike Wile E. Coyote salivating over a "4000 Ways To Prepare Roadrunner" cookbook without watching his surroundings, the Road Runner of Societal Inertia snuck up on them both and beepbeeped them off the mesa."
--Shem

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lunchstealer
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by lunchstealer » 03 Feb 2017, 18:11

Ouch.
"The constitution is more of a BDSM agreement with a safe word." - Sandy

"Neoliberalism. Austerity. Booga booga!!!!" - JasonL

"We can't confirm rumors that Lynndie England is in the running to be Gina Haspel's personal aide." - DAR

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Mo
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by Mo » 23 Feb 2017, 10:06

When did db and dhex become writers for Clickhole?
his voice is so soothing, but why do conspiracy nuts always sound like Batman and Robin solving one of Riddler's puzzles out loud? - fod

no one ever yells worldstar when a pet gets fucked up - dhex

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dbcooper
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by dbcooper » 23 Feb 2017, 19:35

:)
Slip inside a sleeping bag.

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thoreau
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by thoreau » 22 May 2017, 12:23

The Onion has a trove of leaked documents from the White House:

http://www.theonion.com/trumpdocuments
"ike Wile E. Coyote salivating over a "4000 Ways To Prepare Roadrunner" cookbook without watching his surroundings, the Road Runner of Societal Inertia snuck up on them both and beepbeeped them off the mesa."
--Shem

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thoreau
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by thoreau » 14 Jun 2017, 13:23

Fact-checking Jeff Sessions' testimony:

http://www.theonion.com/v/5915
"ike Wile E. Coyote salivating over a "4000 Ways To Prepare Roadrunner" cookbook without watching his surroundings, the Road Runner of Societal Inertia snuck up on them both and beepbeeped them off the mesa."
--Shem

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thoreau
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by thoreau » 28 Jul 2017, 19:55

Fact-checking Ryan Lizza's interview with the Mooch:
“Get this through your head, you Jew motherfucker, you. You only exist out here because of me. That’s the only reason.”

FALSE: Sorry, this is Joe Pesci in Casino. We got confused.

“I’m going to fire every one of them…the entire place will be fired over the next two weeks.”

OH, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE BE TRUE: Seriously, please.

“This is a major catastrophe for the American country.”

TRUE: This is the most accurate statement yet made by an administration official.
"ike Wile E. Coyote salivating over a "4000 Ways To Prepare Roadrunner" cookbook without watching his surroundings, the Road Runner of Societal Inertia snuck up on them both and beepbeeped them off the mesa."
--Shem

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thoreau
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by thoreau » 28 Jul 2017, 22:37

"ike Wile E. Coyote salivating over a "4000 Ways To Prepare Roadrunner" cookbook without watching his surroundings, the Road Runner of Societal Inertia snuck up on them both and beepbeeped them off the mesa."
--Shem

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thoreau
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by thoreau » 31 Jul 2017, 19:45

Item 4 is so dead-on that it's almost scary.

http://www.onionstudios.com/videos/5-th ... nders-6058
"ike Wile E. Coyote salivating over a "4000 Ways To Prepare Roadrunner" cookbook without watching his surroundings, the Road Runner of Societal Inertia snuck up on them both and beepbeeped them off the mesa."
--Shem

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lunchstealer
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by lunchstealer » 31 Jul 2017, 19:52

"The constitution is more of a BDSM agreement with a safe word." - Sandy

"Neoliberalism. Austerity. Booga booga!!!!" - JasonL

"We can't confirm rumors that Lynndie England is in the running to be Gina Haspel's personal aide." - DAR

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thoreau
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by thoreau » 29 Sep 2017, 17:38

"ike Wile E. Coyote salivating over a "4000 Ways To Prepare Roadrunner" cookbook without watching his surroundings, the Road Runner of Societal Inertia snuck up on them both and beepbeeped them off the mesa."
--Shem

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Aresen
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by Aresen » 30 Sep 2017, 16:12

If Trump supporters wanted a tough guy, why did they elect such a whiny bitch? - Mo

Those who know history are doomed to deja vu. - the innominate one

Never bring a knife to a joke fight" - dhex

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Warren
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by Warren » 01 Oct 2017, 10:35

Aresen wrote:
30 Sep 2017, 16:12
It makes sense in 11 dimensional chess.
I can only handle 8 dimensional chess, 9 on my best day.
THIS SPACE FOR RENT

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thoreau
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by thoreau » 02 Oct 2017, 22:22

"ike Wile E. Coyote salivating over a "4000 Ways To Prepare Roadrunner" cookbook without watching his surroundings, the Road Runner of Societal Inertia snuck up on them both and beepbeeped them off the mesa."
--Shem

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thoreau
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by thoreau » 31 Oct 2017, 19:50

"ike Wile E. Coyote salivating over a "4000 Ways To Prepare Roadrunner" cookbook without watching his surroundings, the Road Runner of Societal Inertia snuck up on them both and beepbeeped them off the mesa."
--Shem

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thoreau
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by thoreau » 02 Nov 2017, 09:18

"ike Wile E. Coyote salivating over a "4000 Ways To Prepare Roadrunner" cookbook without watching his surroundings, the Road Runner of Societal Inertia snuck up on them both and beepbeeped them off the mesa."
--Shem

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thoreau
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by thoreau » 08 Nov 2017, 16:41

"ike Wile E. Coyote salivating over a "4000 Ways To Prepare Roadrunner" cookbook without watching his surroundings, the Road Runner of Societal Inertia snuck up on them both and beepbeeped them off the mesa."
--Shem

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lunchstealer
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by lunchstealer » 22 Nov 2017, 04:06

"The constitution is more of a BDSM agreement with a safe word." - Sandy

"Neoliberalism. Austerity. Booga booga!!!!" - JasonL

"We can't confirm rumors that Lynndie England is in the running to be Gina Haspel's personal aide." - DAR

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Mo
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by Mo » 29 Nov 2017, 22:58

his voice is so soothing, but why do conspiracy nuts always sound like Batman and Robin solving one of Riddler's puzzles out loud? - fod

no one ever yells worldstar when a pet gets fucked up - dhex

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Sandy
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by Sandy » 30 Nov 2017, 10:34

With soundtrack by Russell Simmons?
Hindu is the cricket of religions. You can observe it for years, you can have enthusiasts try to explain it to you, and it's still baffling. - Warren

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Mo
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by Mo » 30 Nov 2017, 23:29

his voice is so soothing, but why do conspiracy nuts always sound like Batman and Robin solving one of Riddler's puzzles out loud? - fod

no one ever yells worldstar when a pet gets fucked up - dhex

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dbcooper
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Re: Onion that could've been in The News

Post by dbcooper » 01 Dec 2017, 01:13

Is he kicking into next level dementia?
Slip inside a sleeping bag.

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