Onion that could've been in The News
Re: Onion that could've been in The News
all joking aside it's entirely possible.
"I do wear my New Balance tennis shoes when I'm wearing cargo shorts, though, because truth in advertising." - lunch
Re: Onion that could've been in The News
his voice is so soothing, but why do conspiracy nuts always sound like Batman and Robin solving one of Riddler's puzzles out loud? - fod
no one ever yells worldstar when a pet gets fucked up - dhex
no one ever yells worldstar when a pet gets fucked up - dhex
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Sandy
- Posts: 9984
- Joined: 26 Apr 2010, 18:03
- Location: In the hearts of little children, clogging their arteries.
Re: Onion that could've been in The News
Hindu is the cricket of religions. You can observe it for years, you can have enthusiasts try to explain it to you, and it's still baffling. - Warren
Re: Onion that could've been in The News
"ike Wile E. Coyote salivating over a "4000 Ways To Prepare Roadrunner" cookbook without watching his surroundings, the Road Runner of Societal Inertia snuck up on them both and beepbeeped them off the mesa."
--Shem
--Shem
Re: Onion that could've been in The News
"ike Wile E. Coyote salivating over a "4000 Ways To Prepare Roadrunner" cookbook without watching his surroundings, the Road Runner of Societal Inertia snuck up on them both and beepbeeped them off the mesa."
--Shem
--Shem
Re: Onion that could've been in The News
We live in the fucked age. Get used to it. - dhex
holy shit there will never be an end until the sweet release of death (as dictated by the death panels, natch) - lunch
holy shit there will never be an end until the sweet release of death (as dictated by the death panels, natch) - lunch
Re: Onion that could've been in The News
his voice is so soothing, but why do conspiracy nuts always sound like Batman and Robin solving one of Riddler's puzzles out loud? - fod
no one ever yells worldstar when a pet gets fucked up - dhex
no one ever yells worldstar when a pet gets fucked up - dhex
Re: Onion that could've been in The News
Report: This Not A Gun
NEW YORK—In a discovery that flies in the face of conventional law enforcement wisdom of what does and does not constitute a deadly firearm, weapons and non-weapons experts alike reported Thursday that an array of objects including but not limited to steel pipes, wallets, and cell phones are not, in fact, guns. “After extensive research and careful analysis, we can definitively state that these objects are not guns and cannot inflict harm by firing bullets,” said head researcher Jerome Morvis, whose team found no reason why, despite obvious differences in the size, shape, and color of the objects in question, the items so often appear as firearms to the not-completely-untrained eye. “To any law enforcement officer unsure about the object a civilian is holding, we recommend looking at the firearm in your own hand and looking back for parallels between its physical qualities and those of the object in a suspect’s hands. If you find no similarities, the object does not pose an immediate danger.” In related news, the experts have released a guide to help law enforcement officials discern the difference between a gun and an African American man’s empty, upraised hand.
"ike Wile E. Coyote salivating over a "4000 Ways To Prepare Roadrunner" cookbook without watching his surroundings, the Road Runner of Societal Inertia snuck up on them both and beepbeeped them off the mesa."
--Shem
--Shem
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Pham Nuwen
- Posts: 6544
- Joined: 27 Apr 2010, 02:17
Re: Onion that could've been in The News
Goddamn libertarian message board. Hugh Akston
leave me to my mescaline smoothie in peace, please. dhex
leave me to my mescaline smoothie in peace, please. dhex
Re: Onion that could've been in The News
"ike Wile E. Coyote salivating over a "4000 Ways To Prepare Roadrunner" cookbook without watching his surroundings, the Road Runner of Societal Inertia snuck up on them both and beepbeeped them off the mesa."
--Shem
--Shem
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lunchstealer
- Posts: 15896
- Joined: 26 Apr 2010, 17:25
- Location: The Local Fluff in the Local Bubble
Re: Onion that could've been in The News
"The constitution is more of a BDSM agreement with a safe word." - Sandy
"Neoliberalism. Austerity. Booga booga!!!!" - JasonL
"We can't confirm rumors that Lynndie England is in the running to be Gina Haspel's personal aide." - DAR
"Neoliberalism. Austerity. Booga booga!!!!" - JasonL
"We can't confirm rumors that Lynndie England is in the running to be Gina Haspel's personal aide." - DAR
Re: Onion that could've been in The News
"ike Wile E. Coyote salivating over a "4000 Ways To Prepare Roadrunner" cookbook without watching his surroundings, the Road Runner of Societal Inertia snuck up on them both and beepbeeped them off the mesa."
--Shem
--Shem
Re: Onion that could've been in The News
"ike Wile E. Coyote salivating over a "4000 Ways To Prepare Roadrunner" cookbook without watching his surroundings, the Road Runner of Societal Inertia snuck up on them both and beepbeeped them off the mesa."
--Shem
--Shem
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Pham Nuwen
- Posts: 6544
- Joined: 27 Apr 2010, 02:17
Re: Onion that could've been in The News
http://deadline.com/2018/05/bill-and-te ... 202384903/
Thoreau! I summon you to this madness! Did you do this? Huh? Is this your work?
Thoreau! I summon you to this madness! Did you do this? Huh? Is this your work?
Goddamn libertarian message board. Hugh Akston
leave me to my mescaline smoothie in peace, please. dhex
leave me to my mescaline smoothie in peace, please. dhex
Re: Onion that could've been in The News
I don't do 80's reboots. Trump is the guy still living off an image from the 80's. Maybe this is his doing.
"ike Wile E. Coyote salivating over a "4000 Ways To Prepare Roadrunner" cookbook without watching his surroundings, the Road Runner of Societal Inertia snuck up on them both and beepbeeped them off the mesa."
--Shem
--Shem
Re: Onion that could've been in The News
It would also explain how Ollie North is back on trend.
when you wake up as the queen of the n=1 kingdom and mount your steed non sequiturius, do you look out upon all you survey and think “damn, it feels good to be a green idea sleeping furiously?" - dhex
Re: Onion that could've been in The News
Can we have Airwolf back? I'm not much of an 80's guy but that show was fun.
"ike Wile E. Coyote salivating over a "4000 Ways To Prepare Roadrunner" cookbook without watching his surroundings, the Road Runner of Societal Inertia snuck up on them both and beepbeeped them off the mesa."
--Shem
--Shem
Re: Onion that could've been in The News
Oliver North: @realDonaldTrump Should Sanction Iran and Anybody Who Does Business With Them @foxandfriends
when you wake up as the queen of the n=1 kingdom and mount your steed non sequiturius, do you look out upon all you survey and think “damn, it feels good to be a green idea sleeping furiously?" - dhex
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lunchstealer
- Posts: 15896
- Joined: 26 Apr 2010, 17:25
- Location: The Local Fluff in the Local Bubble
Re: Onion that could've been in The News
Bill Clinton Admits That Knowing What He Knows Now He Would Have Still Preyed On Women
https://politics.theonion.com/bill-clin ... 1826552944
https://politics.theonion.com/bill-clin ... 1826552944
"The constitution is more of a BDSM agreement with a safe word." - Sandy
"Neoliberalism. Austerity. Booga booga!!!!" - JasonL
"We can't confirm rumors that Lynndie England is in the running to be Gina Haspel's personal aide." - DAR
"Neoliberalism. Austerity. Booga booga!!!!" - JasonL
"We can't confirm rumors that Lynndie England is in the running to be Gina Haspel's personal aide." - DAR
Re: Onion that could've been in The News
One is real, one is the Onion.
his voice is so soothing, but why do conspiracy nuts always sound like Batman and Robin solving one of Riddler's puzzles out loud? - fod
no one ever yells worldstar when a pet gets fucked up - dhex
no one ever yells worldstar when a pet gets fucked up - dhex
Re: Onion that could've been in The News
Whose quote is that?
Re: Onion that could've been in The News
his voice is so soothing, but why do conspiracy nuts always sound like Batman and Robin solving one of Riddler's puzzles out loud? - fod
no one ever yells worldstar when a pet gets fucked up - dhex
no one ever yells worldstar when a pet gets fucked up - dhex
Re: Onion that could've been in The News
Not the Onion, but a similar British site:
Canada to legalise marijuana to help them cope with living next to America
Canada to legalise marijuana to help them cope with living next to America
If Trump supporters wanted a tough guy, why did they elect such a whiny bitch? - Mo
Those who know history are doomed to deja vu. - the innominate one
Never bring a knife to a joke fight" - dhex
Those who know history are doomed to deja vu. - the innominate one
Never bring a knife to a joke fight" - dhex
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